{"id":333000,"date":"2025-12-07T09:31:36","date_gmt":"2025-12-07T09:31:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/what-is-engaged-listening\/"},"modified":"2025-12-07T09:31:36","modified_gmt":"2025-12-07T09:31:36","slug":"what-is-engaged-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=333000","title":{"rendered":"What Is Engaged Listening?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div xmlns:default=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\">\n<p>When engaged in conversation, most of us focus on our own thoughts and what we will say next. This habit is actually quite distracting and gets in the way of better understanding what others are communicating. Improving in this area entails engaged listening, which refers to paying close attention to what others are saying and truly seeking to understand their point of view.<\/p>\n<p class=\"image__article--main\"><picture fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"attachment-700x360 size-700x360 wp-post-image\"><source type=\"image\/webp\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently.jpg.webp 750w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-300x150.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-700x350.jpg.webp 700w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-150x75.jpg.webp 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\"\/><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"350\" src=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently.jpg\" alt=\"woman in conversation listening intently\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-700x350.jpg 700w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-listening-intently-150x75.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\"\/>\n<\/picture><\/p>\n<p>Pausing before responding, asking insightful questions, clarifying others\u2019 points, and validating their feelings are all behaviors of active listening, which is a component of engaged listening. Expressing recognition and empathy toward others\u2019 experiences builds trust in relationships and is commonly overlooked. Simply taking the time to acknowledge the feelings and emotions of others can also prove to be a diffusing intervention, especially when dealing with conflict. Demonstrating genuine interest shows that the listener values them as a person.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Obstacles to Engaged Listening<\/h2>\n<p>These days, we\u2019re faced with frequent interruptions and distractions through our devices. Research shows that most of us are so connected to checking our phones that we do it automatically without even realizing it. Since this \u201cchecking\u201d leads to a quick increase in dopamine, the \u201cfeel good\u201d neurochemical, this behavior has been compared to addiction, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/articles\/cellphone-separation-anxiety\/\">separating from our phones<\/a> can even trigger symptoms of anxiety (Lowe-Calverley &amp; Pontes, 2020). To avoid the temptation of focusing on your phone rather than on your listening, make sure your phone is placed face down or out of reach with the ringer silenced.<\/p>\n<p>Research also supports the limitations of our brains\u2019 operating systems. We think we can multitask and focus on several things at once, when in fact, while we attempt to do so, our cognitive capacity decreases significantly. Scientists report that our brains are not wired to process multiple inputs effectively at the same time. This means that it is not just your phone that can distract you from engaged listening. To become a star listener, you need to focus on your conversation and nothing else (Koch et al., 2018).<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mindset Changes for Becoming a More Engaged Listener<\/h2>\n<p>Developing your ability to become an active and engaged listener requires practice and intention. Try some of these techniques to get started:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Withhold Judgment<\/h3>\n<p>Conduct some experiments for entering a conversation to listen and understand, while withholding your judgments, opinions, or comments. Doing so will require asking clarifying questions and fostering curiosity to understand where the other person is coming from.\u00a0Challenge yourself to see how long the discussion lasts without inserting your own judgments and statements. Make observations of what that experience was like for you.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Practice Mindfulness and Being Present In the Moment<\/h3>\n<p>There are many ways to develop mindfulness; a common example is practicing meditation. There are many ways to develop a stronger sense of inner calm, which will help us be more attentive to others.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Focus On the Speaker\u2019s Tone and Emotion<\/h3>\n<p>Dial your attention in so that you can \u201cread between the lines\u201d and understand what they are communicating, in addition to what they are saying.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Resist the Urge to Hijack Conversations<\/h3>\n<p>If someone is telling you a story, beware of interrupting and inserting a similar experience you once had. There is a time for sharing, yet being an engaged listener requires saving your story for a later point in the discussion.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Become Aware of Your Emotional Responses<\/h3>\n<p>Recognize when you are having a certain reaction to what they are saying without letting it determine your response. Being an attentive and engaged listener does not require you to agree with the speaker\u2019s point of view. You may feel a strong reaction or may disagree with what they are saying. When this occurs, it can be tempting to chime in based on an emotional reaction. Provide sufficient space for the speaker to express themselves, which can be challenging if you are having a charged internal response. Consider taking a deep breath or finding another way to redirect yourself back to the conversation if you are feeling an intense emotion.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tips to Show You Are an Engaged Listener<\/h2>\n<p>In addition to the aforementioned changes you can make to your mindset, there are also techniques you can employ to help give the other person the sense that you are an engaged listener. These tips can get them to open up and draw you deeper into the conversation.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Prepare Some Questions<\/h3>\n<p>For example, seek clarification of your understanding of what they are saying, such as \u201cwhat I am hearing is.\u201d Also, ask questions such as \u201cTell me more about that,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m curious to hear more about this.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask Open-ended Questions<\/h3>\n<p>These are preferable to questions that require a one-word answer, such as yes or no. This can lead to deeper dialogue and more avenues for continued conversation. A yes or no answer is often a dead end.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Make Sure There Is a Balance of Give-and-Take<\/h3>\n<p>Look for opportunities to build on what the person said and connect it to your own experience. For example<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI love hearing about you, especially the part about\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThat reminds me of my experience about\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m hearing some similarities to\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Listen Out for Common Interests<\/h3>\n<p>For example, \u201cI am wondering how you got involved in \u2026I would love to hear more about your experience. I also have similar interests in\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Use Non-Verbal Signs<\/h3>\n<p>Watch your body language. Express open non-verbal behaviors, such as nodding and saying brief comments of affirmation, to confirm you are listening. Demonstrate open body language, such as avoiding crossed arms or physically withdrawing from the discussion. Eye contact is also an important non-verbal cue to convey that you are an engaged listener. Avoid looking around or getting distracted by your surroundings. Appearing alert can be helpful as well, so that you can avoid behaviors like yawning or looking bored.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Concluding Thoughts <\/h2>\n<p>Becoming a more active and engaged listener will lead you to enjoy closer connections, increased trust, stronger relationships, more interesting discussions, and opportunities to exchange ideas. While it certainly does require some work, and it may not be in your nature, you\u2019ll likely find that it\u2019s well worth it to become an engaged listener.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n<p id=\"References\"><strong>References<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Bodie, G. D., Vickery, A. J., Cannava, K., &amp; Jones, S. M. (2015). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1080\/10570314.2014.943429\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Role of \u201cActive Listening\u201d in Informal Helping Conversations: Impact on Perceptions of Listener Helpfulness, Sensitivity, and Supportiveness and Discloser Emotional Improvement<\/a>. <em>Western Journal of Communication<\/em>, <em>79<\/em>(2), 151\u2013173. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/10570314.2014.943429<\/li>\n<li>Bletscher, C. G., &amp; Lee, S. (2020). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/full\/10.1080\/87567555.2020.1841079\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Impact of Active Empathetic Listening on an Introductory Communication Course<\/a>. <em>College Teaching<\/em>, <em>69<\/em>(3), 161\u2013168. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/87567555.2020.1841079<\/li>\n<li>Kawamichi, H., Yoshihara, K., Sasaki, A. T., Sugawara, S. K., Tanabe, H. C., Shinohara, R., Sugisawa, Y., Tokutake, K., Mochizuki, Y., Anme, T., &amp; Sadato, N. (2015). <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/25188354\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Perceiving active listening activates the reward system and improves the impression of relevant experiences<\/a>.\u00a0<em>Social Neuroscience<\/em>,\u00a0<em>10<\/em>(1), 16\u201326. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/17470919.2014.954732<\/li>\n<li>Koch, I., Poljac, E., M\u00fcller, H., &amp; Kiesel, A. (2018). <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/29517261\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Cognitive structure, flexibility, and plasticity in human multitasking-An integrative review of dual-task and task-switching research<\/a>.\u00a0<em>Psychological Bulletin<\/em>,\u00a0<em>144<\/em>(6), 557\u2013583. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1037\/bul0000144<\/li>\n<li>Lowe-Calverley, E., &amp; Pontes, H. M. (2020). <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/32498607\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Challenging the Concept of Smartphone Addiction: An Empirical Pilot Study of Smartphone Usage Patterns and Psychological Well-Being<\/a>.\u00a0<em>Cyberpsychology, behavior and social networking<\/em>,\u00a0<em>23<\/em>(8), 550\u2013556. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1089\/cyber.2019.0719<\/li>\n<li>Manusov, V., Stofleth, D., Harvey, J. A., &amp; Crowley, J. P. (2020). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/full\/10.1080\/10904018.2018.1507745\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Conditions and consequences of listening well for interpersonal relationships: Modeling active-empathic listening, social-emotional skills, trait mindfulness, and relational quality<\/a>. <em>International Journal of Listening<\/em>, <em>34<\/em>(2), 110\u2013126. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/10904018.2018.1507745<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>              <!-- end of share button container --><\/p>\n<div id=\"authorBox\" class=\"d-flex justify-content-between align-items-center author-meta\">\n                <picture class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" decoding=\"async\"><source type=\"image\/webp\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/karen-doll-bio-photo-150x150.jpeg.webp 150w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/karen-doll-bio-photo.jpeg.webp 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/karen-doll-bio-photo-150x150.jpeg\" alt=\"Karen Doll, Author\" decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/karen-doll-bio-photo-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.e-counseling.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/karen-doll-bio-photo.jpeg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\"\/>\n<\/picture>\n<div class=\"d-flex flex-column\">\n<div>\n<p>Karen Doll has been a Licensed Psychologist in the Twin Cities for 20 years, working in organizational consulting. She leverages her education in Clinical Psychology with her leadership assessment expertise in her practice. She is an executive coach focusing on helping people maximize their potential.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When engaged in conversation, most of us focus on our own thoughts and what we will say next. This habit is actually quite distracting and gets in the way of better understanding what others are communicating. Improving in this area entails engaged listening, which refers to paying close attention to what others are saying and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":333001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[97858,96742,98236],"tags":[38976,20979],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-333000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-blog","category-relationships","tag-engaged","tag-listening"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Is Engaged Listening? - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=333000\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Is Engaged Listening? - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When engaged in conversation, most of us focus on our own thoughts and what we will say next. 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