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Hello, my name is Lysa, and I am a divorced woman.<\/p>\n
For a long while, I couldn\u2019t say those words. I couldn\u2019t wrap my brain around the word divorce<\/em> being attached to my life. So, my therapist, Jim, told me to say, \u201cthe death of my marriage.\u201d That helped. But just changing the phraseology didn\u2019t change the intensity of my shock and pain. And it didn\u2019t take away the many questions I had about how God could let so much devastation happen after I had tried incredibly hard to honor Him and do the right things.\u00a0<\/p>\n When you\u2019re in the throes of heartbreak, even if you feel firmly planted in what the Bible says, sometimes the suffering can still feel incredibly intense. It can seem like God is not intervening on your behalf. For me, doubting that God was with me through the divorce wasn\u2019t the issue. What broke my heart over and over was the fact that I deeply believed God loved me, cared for me, and was all powerful, and yet in some situations it felt like He was doing nothing to help me. I remember writing in my journal, God sees me, God knows what\u2019s happening, and He is in the process of delivering me.<\/em> But after writing these statements with confidence, I felt increasingly confused. I was writing what I felt I should say but not what I really felt.<\/p>\n Tracing God\u2019s Faithfulness<\/strong><\/p>\n Hard things just kept happening. Then one day I picked up my journal and realized I could no longer write about the faithfulness of God. I put my pen down and wept. Why isn\u2019t God stopping this? Why is He allowing this to continue?<\/em><\/p>\n Maybe you\u2019re asking questions of your own today in the midst of a Christmas season that feels anything but merry and bright. I\u2019m not going to attempt to give you a pat answer and spiritually tie this up neater than it ever will be. Even now, I still don\u2019t have answers to many of the questions I asked God. I want us to table what we don\u2019t know so we can be more productive with what we can know. One practice that has helped me tremendously is what I call \u201ctracing God\u2019s hand of faithfulness\u201d where I intentionally remember what God has done in the past.\u00a0<\/p>\n Sometimes memories are painful. But the kind of memories I\u2019m talking about are the ones where you can now see how God was doing good when nothing felt good to you in the moment. Pick one instance, big or small, where you have a new perspective and can thank God for how He worked things out. You can also look for examples of how He\u2019s shown up for His people all throughout Scripture. In doing this, we can live out Psalm 77:11<\/a>, \u201cI will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.<\/em> I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Reflecting on What God Has Done<\/strong><\/p>\n The reason this is such an important practice is that when we forget, we maximize what problems we\u2019re facing today while minimizing what God has already done for us and throughout human history. When I only focus on what is so terrible right now, I fill in the gaps, and I assume evil is winning and God is doing nothing. I forget we live in a world where sin runs rampant\u2014not forever, but certainly right now\u2014and there are things God does or allows that will not make sense to me in this moment and may not feel good to me at all.<\/p>\n When I look back at God\u2019s past faithfulness, yes, there are still things I don\u2019t understand, that don\u2019t feel good, that I am grieving, and that don\u2019t look like I hoped they would. But I remember He knows more than we know. And that sometimes we just have to leave room for the mystery of God and have faith in His power because He\u2019s proven Himself faithful before, and He will again. I want to position myself in the place where I can look back and say, \u201cMy God, look at what You have done! You were with me. You were working things together for good. I couldn\u2019t see it then, but I see it now!\u201d<\/p>\n When I\u2019ve been tempted to say, \u201cWhy does it appear God is not doing anything?\u201d I should\u2019ve actually said, \u201cI do not serve a do-nothing God. He is doing something . . . I just can\u2019t see it yet<\/em>.\u201d This doesn\u2019t lessen my pain, but it does increase my faith just enough to get through the next day and then the next.<\/p>\n Friend, if you\u2019re having a challenging time facing each new day, milestone, or holiday, please know, I understand. I still have to apply this freshly. But here\u2019s what I want us to remember: Tracing God\u2019s faithfulness from the past doesn\u2019t fix our present hardships, but it does ground us and give us a little bit more strength for today and hope for our better future.<\/p>\n \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Resource:<\/strong> For some, divorce can be amicable. But for many women it\u2019s not. When you\u2019re locked in a bitter battle with vastly different narratives and opinions about what should happen, divorce is not just the signing of a few papers. It\u2019s another whole wave of heartbreak that feels even more magnified during the holiday season. Whether you find yourself facing the death of your marriage, still trying to recover years after your relationship has ended or struggling to know how to help a friend going through divorce, Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle and Licensed Counselor Jim Cress have created a resource to support you every step of the way. In Surviving an Unwanted Divorce <\/em>you\u2019ll find answers for the hard questions you\u2019re asking, scriptural guidance you\u2019ve been searching for, and real hope that will help you move forward. Find out more and get your copy at www.survivinganunwanteddivorce.com<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n