{"id":329157,"date":"2025-12-03T12:24:06","date_gmt":"2025-12-03T12:24:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/what-is-your-conflict-style\/"},"modified":"2025-12-03T12:24:06","modified_gmt":"2025-12-03T12:24:06","slug":"what-is-your-conflict-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=329157","title":{"rendered":"What is Your Conflict Style?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"post-body-4521887284257012601\" itemprop=\"description articleBody\">\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">\u00a0<u style=\"background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;\">Author:<\/u><span face=\"&quot;Trebuchet MS&quot;, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;\">\u00a0<\/span><i style=\"background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;\">Nick Terrell, Bureau of Land Management Fire<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">Have you ever conceptualized the way that you handle<br \/>\ninterpersonal conflict? I started to take a hard look at how I engaged in<br \/>\nconflict after my relationship with a past manager deteriorated while working<br \/>\nas a handcrew assistant\/detailed handcrew captain over the course of seven<br \/>\nyears. When I was done being angry at the manager, and when I accepted that my<br \/>\nactions were the only ones that I had agency over, I supposed it was time to<br \/>\nchange my tactics. <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">The first lesson learned was that conflict is<br \/>\nunavoidable. If you&#8217;re living life with the goal of zero conflict and \u201call good<br \/>\nvibes\u201d it&#8217;s not going to work. The next lesson that comes on the coattails of<br \/>\nthe first is that conflict is a gift. Through uncovering your, or your opposing<br \/>\nparty\u2019s position, you have a clear anchor point to begin addressing the issue<br \/>\nfrom. In other words, if you uncover the \u201cno\u201d you know where the boundary is<br \/>\nand can then work to find an alternative. <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">There is a simple model &#8211; the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument<br \/>\n(TKI) &#8211; that defines five behaviors that humans use when addressing conflicts<br \/>\nwith others: competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and<br \/>\ncollaborating. In the model, the behaviors are organized spatially on a graph<br \/>\n(see figure). One axis represents the importance of one\u2019s goals, and the other<br \/>\naxis represents the importance of their relationship with the other party. When<br \/>\nyou look at a person\u2019s behavior in managing conflict as a ratio of prioritizing<br \/>\ntheir goals vs. prioritizing the relationship, it depersonalizes the issue. <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\" class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id=\"_x0000_t75\"\n coordsize=\"21600,21600\" o:spt=\"75\" o:preferrelative=\"t\" path=\"m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe\"\n filled=\"f\" stroked=\"f\">\n <v:stroke joinstyle=\"miter\"\/>\n <v:formulas>\n  <v:f eqn=\"if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"sum @0 1 0\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"sum 0 0 @1\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @2 1 2\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @3 21600 pixelWidth\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @3 21600 pixelHeight\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"sum @0 0 1\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @6 1 2\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @7 21600 pixelWidth\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"sum @8 21600 0\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"prod @7 21600 pixelHeight\"\/>\n  <v:f eqn=\"sum @10 21600 0\"\/>\n <\/v:formulas>\n <v:path o:extrusionok=\"f\" gradientshapeok=\"t\" o:connecttype=\"rect\"\/>\n <o:lock v:ext=\"edit\" aspectratio=\"t\"\/>\n<\/v:shapetype><v:shape id=\"image1.png\" o:spid=\"_x0000_i1025\" type=\"#_x0000_t75\"\n style=\"width:264pt;height:180pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square\">\n <v:imagedata src=\"http:\/\/wildlandfireleadership.blogspot.com\/2025\/09\/file:\/\/\/C:\/Users\/JAIMIE~1\/AppData\/Local\/Temp\/msohtmlclip1\/01\/clip_image001.png\"\n  o:title=\"\"\/>\n<\/v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" height=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiBWgxyMl5U9DiGlm5PAgFWN7trgYG1-O9DUFcdigoJ-3YcfQge5vF3xAvqvgb9-ELhx0692ob8jGesAtDzxSurta1nqPER7r94UXsYLgHiMIQR-3SXmxQGxRiB9HxZLQsOdldtltllOJ-TzcLUJUIlnqUgwplWtNP3hwO8utNiYWR3STgl_2iU5oMFlD_y\" v:shapes=\"image1.png\" width=\"352\"\/><!--[endif]--><o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\" class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 107%;\">Source (A.O. Nichols. <i>Making Conflict Suck Less: The Basics. <\/i>Boise<br \/>\nState Pressbooks. 2020)<o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">If you have a shred of empathy, you can acknowledge that<br \/>\nthe other party is a human with their own set of values and motivations, right?<br \/>\nThose values and motivations dictate their actions and goals in conflict, just<br \/>\nlike yours. Knowing how you prefer to engage in conflict and understanding the<br \/>\nspectrum of conflict behaviors increases your situational awareness. I have<br \/>\ncome to view interpersonal conflict as being similar to wildland fire<br \/>\nsuppression in that different situations call for different strategies and<br \/>\ntactics. We are all capable of switching from direct to indirect tactics when<br \/>\nfire behavior forces our hand. Why couldn\u2019t we switch from accommodating to<br \/>\ncompeting behavior in conflict when an issue is very important to us? Better<br \/>\nyet, why couldn\u2019t we have the patience to work with the other party to<br \/>\ncollaborate on a solution that satisfies both of our goals and strengthens the<br \/>\nrelationship by co-creating a resolution?<o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">Over the seven years I spent on my last crew &#8211; the one<br \/>\nthat I desired to one day run &#8211; I had primarily employed the conflict behaviors<br \/>\nthat prioritize the relationship. When faced with conflict I avoided,<br \/>\naccommodated, or compromised. This led to the formation of resentments for the<br \/>\nmanager I worked for, who primarily employed the conflict behavior of<br \/>\ncompeting. I wanted a good working relationship, they wanted personal goal<br \/>\nfulfillment. We were going north and south in terms of how we were engaging in conflict.<br \/>\nSometimes I wonder if events could have played out differently if I had<br \/>\nadvocated more for my own goals in conflict with this individual. <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">What was the last issue over which you had open<br \/>\ndisagreement with another person? Draw it up in your mind. Did you address the<br \/>\nissue with the person directly? Did you wait a little while, think it over, and<br \/>\nbring it up later? Did you bury it without addressing it? If you did bring it<br \/>\nup, how did you go about addressing the issue? There is no shame in any posture<br \/>\nwhen it comes to handling conflict. What matters is knowing which conflict<br \/>\nstrategy you typically employ, and that there are other strategies available to<br \/>\nyou to work toward resolution. What matters more is having the courage to do<br \/>\nit.\u00a0\u00a0 <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">A fire leader\u2019s ability to navigate conflict effectively<br \/>\nwith others is a core skill. A p<b>ersonal anchor skill<\/b>. As part of our <b>duty<\/b><br \/>\nto develop our subordinates for the future, we must create a culture of r<b>espect <\/b>while building our<br \/>\nteams. Fire leaders must show <b>integrity<\/b><br \/>\nin knowing themselves and seeking improvement, accepting responsibility for<br \/>\ntheir actions, and setting the example. Do not hesitate to address conflict. Do<br \/>\nnot show discouragement when faced with setbacks. Do choose the difficult right<br \/>\nover the easy wrong. Show your supervisors, peers, and subordinates that you<br \/>\nare comfortable with conflict to build the kind of culture that embraces it for<br \/>\nthe gift that it can be. <o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"border: none; mso-border-shadow: yes; mso-padding-alt: 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt 31.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial;\">I have included a link to a free version of the<br \/>\nThomas-Kilman conflict styles assessment below.<o:p\/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span face=\"&quot;Verdana&quot;,sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;\">Thomas-Kilmann<br \/>\nConflict Styles Assessment: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.usip.org\/public-education-new\/conflict-styles-assessment\"><span style=\"color: #1155cc;\">https:\/\/www.usip.org\/public-education-new\/conflict-styles-assessment<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><i style=\"background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: &quot;Trebuchet MS&quot;, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;\">Nick Terrell is a career federal wildland firefighter. Following a career altering injury, he left his position on a handcrew for a wildland fire support position. The career change has allowed him to pursue a master\u2019s degree at Boise State University studying Conflict Management and Leadership. He still maintains operational fire qualifications and is a diligent student of fire.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0Author:\u00a0Nick Terrell, Bureau of Land Management Fire Have you ever conceptualized the way that you handle interpersonal conflict? I started to take a hard look at how I engaged in conflict after my relationship with a past manager deteriorated while working as a handcrew assistant\/detailed handcrew captain over the course of seven years. When I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":329158,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5475,1539],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-329157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-conflict","tag-style"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What is Your Conflict Style? - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=329157\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What is Your Conflict Style? - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0Author:\u00a0Nick Terrell, Bureau of Land Management Fire Have you ever conceptualized the way that you handle interpersonal conflict? 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