{"id":325678,"date":"2025-12-01T07:30:54","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T07:30:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/a-depression-napor-just-a-nap\/"},"modified":"2025-12-01T07:30:54","modified_gmt":"2025-12-01T07:30:54","slug":"a-depression-napor-just-a-nap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=325678","title":{"rendered":"A Depression Nap\u2026or Just a Nap?"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

Is there such a thing as a \u201cDepression Nap\u201d? I\u2019ve certainly heard the term through my advocacy. I never really knew what it was. I do know that when I was going through my second major bout of depression in 2013, my psychologist had shared with me that I needed to rest\u2026I needed to take naps. He explained it as a brain injury and shared with me that the brain needed its down time. <\/p>\n

Oh boy did I run with that one with my wife. I\u2019d slowly, emotionlessly drag myself off of the couch, where I had been sitting, not knowing what to do or what to say and share with my wife, \u201cI\u2019m just going to go upstairs for a nap\u2026my therapist said I need to rest\u201d. There, behind the safety of my bedroom, door closed to my wife and four small children\u2026and to the world really, I would lie down. I\u2019d close my eyes and I\u2019d roll around for about three hours, wishing so desperately that I could sleep. <\/p>\n

I\u2019d finally drag myself back downstairs, trying to convince myself that somehow, even without getting a wink of sleep, I must<\/em> be rested from laying down for so long. I\u2019d slowly make my way back to the couch. That or I\u2019d follow my wife around at her hip, not knowing what to do with myself. Having taken time off from work, I\u2019d try to create a very short to-do list. Maybe I could clean one bathroom or do a load of laundry. But I couldn\u2019t. So, I spiraled down further into self negativity, beating myself up. <\/p>\n

I\u2019d even lay down next to my oldest kid (seven at the time) when it was her bedtime, as I had done when I was healthy. Only, when I was healthy, my wife would wake me up fifteen minutes later, we\u2019d chuckle that I had fallen asleep and I\u2019d go on with my routine for the evening before bed. Not this time. Not these days, these months of a deep, dark depression. I\u2019d lay down by my daughter, she\u2019d fall asleep, and I didn\u2019t want to move. I knew that if I stayed there long enough, perhaps it would be late enough by the time I got up from her bed that I would be able to retreat back to the safety and security of my own room and go to bed (not to sleep, that just wasn\u2019t happening). <\/p>\n

It actually got to the point that I would literally feel angst and anxiety just walking past my bed, looking at it, knowing that I wouldn\u2019t be able to fall asleep next time I\u2019d try. I was actually angry at my bed, as if it was my bed\u2019s fault that I couldn\u2019t sleep. I think at my worst I was getting about ten hours of sleep\u2026for the week.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s funny is, I really love naps. I mean, when I\u2019m healthy. As an educator, I typically get summers off. I LOVE lying down on the couch, a warm, fuzzy blanket on my legs and the breeze from the overhead fan on me. Catching a thirty-minute nap or so would feel so comforting to me and I\u2019d wake up rejuvenated. I have no problem admitting that my love of naps could certainly do with me recently entering my fifties. <\/p>\n

At any rate, at the current time we\u2019re living in, it\u2019s easy to fall into a depression and I so desperately do not want that to happen. I\u2019ve only had two bouts of major depression and would never wish it upon my worst enemy\u2026no joke. Seriously. So while I don\u2019t live in fear of the possibility of another major depression, I\u2019m surely conscious of the possibility. So\u2026I\u2019m recognizing some of my current stressors. Last December my father passed away. Last February our school district went on strike (I wasn\u2019t on strike, as I\u2019m an administrator), the teachers came back for one day (really in order to be able to receive health benefits, as they could see what was about to happen), we then went quickly into distance learning. Very soon thereafter, George Floyd was murdered at the hands of the police. I live, with my wife and four kids, in Minneapolis only three blocks south of Lake Street and less than a mile from the 3rd precinct (both locations that I would imagine most people in the US have heard of now due to the riots). We\u2019re now starting a new school year, welcoming new staff and students virtually. So\u2026it makes sense to me if I\u2019m feeling down. <\/p>\n

And this is where we get back to naps. Just the other day after dinner, my four kids went on their way to do their own things until it was bedtime. I\u2019ve been reading to my youngest daughter and, ever since I once dozed and made up some nonsensical words (not to be funny, but because I was practically dreaming while reading), she\u2019ll let me know I could take a short power nap after dinner so that I don\u2019t fall asleep reading to her. And I\u2019ve done that on a really tired night or two. And it\u2019s felt good and I get right up and read and then continue my evening doing some work (or podcasting). The other night, however, it was different. I know I was feeling down, feeling overwhelmed. I wanted desperately to lay down on that comfy couch and take a snooze. But it wasn\u2019t about getting rejuvenated to read with my daughter. It felt different. I could tell I felt that I needed to escape. To shut myself off from the world and to not think of anything that was causing me stress. I pushed back very hard on the nap that evening. Normally I wouldn\u2019t. But again, this was different. I knew that the feeling of needing to shut myself off from the world was a sign that I could be slowly entering a depression. I could NOT let that happen. Having gone through two bouts of depression and advocating around mental health for four or five years now has given me many strategies. That night, I decided there was no way I was going to lay down. I\u2019m not sure that I would have woken up to read with my daughter. I pushed against my desire to nap and instead took our dog out for a walk. I walked for a good hour, felt rejuvenated and proud that I had resisted the temptation to nap. I knew that had I napped, I would have beat myself up about the nap, especially if I hadn\u2019t been able to get up to read to my daughter.<\/p>\n

So\u2026is there such a thing as a \u201cDepression Nap\u201d? Is it different from a typical nap? I now say a resounding, \u201cYes!\u201d I believe there\u2019s quite a difference. How about you?<\/p>\n

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. As with all of my posts, questions and comments are welcomed and encouraged. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Is there such a thing as a \u201cDepression Nap\u201d? I\u2019ve certainly heard the term through my advocacy. I never really knew what it was. 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