We live in a culture, especially in America, that is obsessed with self.\u00a0 Everything is about whatever makes me <\/em>happy.\u00a0 And this self-obsession has bled over into every area of life \u2013 home, school, work, politics, religion, sexuality, sports, etc.\u00a0<\/p>\n From millions of selfies on social media to Instagram and TikTok videos featuring \u2018a day in the life,\u2019 it has become the norm to not only focus on oneself but also to broadcast every aspect of one\u2019s life to the world. Throw in the abundance of unbiblical self-love affirmations, and you have a recipe for spiritual disaster that has been masked by the \u201clive your truth\u201d movement.<\/p>\n The question is, as Christians, where do we find biblical balance when it comes to self-love?<\/p>\n Some of the most googled questions about self-love are:<\/p>\n If you struggle with self-love, wonder if self-love is a sin, or have ever asked yourself any of the questions above, this is the post for you.\u00a0 We will dive into Scripture to see exactly what self-love is and what the Bible says about loving yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n According to Webster\u2019s Dictionary, the definition of self-love<\/em> is:<\/p>\n As you can see, even the basic definition of self-love has a broad spectrum ranging from proper regard for one\u2019s own well-being to narcissism.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s look at the concept of\u00a0self-love\u00a0from a secular and biblical viewpoint.<\/p>\n Loving yourself from a secular viewpoint often boils down to self-affirmation. And there is no shortage of self-love affirmations and self-love quotes. \u00a0We\u2019ve all heard at least some of these and may have even used some ourselves:<\/p>\n These all sound great. \u00a0They motivate, encourage, and inspire us to adjust our moods, look at ourselves in a positive light, quell any negative self-talk in our heads, and love ourselves more.<\/p>\n However, the subtle problem with these affirmations is that they are ALL completely self-centered, with no incorporation of God, and they are in direct opposition to what the Bible teaches. \u00a0<\/p>\n A secular view of self-love essentially says it\u2019s all about me, myself, and I.\u00a0 It embraces an ideology that elevates the self as morally good, with an entitlement to happiness and all the best things in life and the capability to conquer all things \u2013 without God.\u00a0\u00a0 It says: \u00a0loving myself is doing what I want, when I want, how I want, with whomever I want, and God is here only when I need to call on Him for blessings throughout my chosen journey.<\/p>\n Is self-love biblical?\u00a0 You may receive various answers depending on whom you ask.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, many Christians tend to be very averse to the concept of self-love, and some even condemn it as entirely sinful.\u00a0 This often boils down to them trying to be humble and pious through self-deprecation.\u00a0<\/p>\n Some will even act like they can\u2019t accept compliments or allow others to acknowledge their achievements, often referring to themselves in the bleakest terms possible. However, even this overcorrection to the secular viewpoint of self-love is NOT biblical.<\/p>\n Like Webster\u2019s definition, the Bible teaches that self-love has a spectrum. \u00a0There is both a healthy, godly type of self-love, as well as a sinful type of self-love:<\/p>\n The first passage not only gives us permission to love ourselves but also sets boundaries on the exhibition of that self-love.<\/p>\n The second passage addresses the type of conceited, narcissistic self-love that is, in fact, sinful.<\/p>\n We will look at both passages in more detail in the following sections.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve established that the Bible does address the topic of self-love. So, let\u2019s dive deeper to look at seven important things it teaches about loving yourself.<\/p>\n Nowhere in Scripture does God explicitly command people to love themselves.\u00a0 In fact, EVERY instance of the godly type of self-love is always mentioned in light of how we are to love others (i.e. love others as yourself).\u00a0 Despite all the self-love talk of culture, God never says \u201clove yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Why do you think that is?\u00a0<\/p>\n Because all of us are born with a self-loving nature to begin with.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have to be told or even taught how to love ourselves.\u00a0 We are natural lovers of self.<\/p>\n No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts.\u00a0<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n Ephesians 5:29 TLB<\/em><\/strong><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The problem is that due to the fall, our natural self-love is tainted with sin.\u00a0 Adam and Eve ate the fruit because they wanted more for themselves than what God had provided; they wanted to be their own god.\u00a0 And every human being has inherited the same sinful type of self-love that they had:<\/p>\n From Adam and Eve, the wickedness that led to the flood, the anarchy that arose before Israel had a king, the stubbornness and wickedness during the time of the prophets, to the self-righteous Pharisees of Jesus\u2019 day, the sinful type of self-love has always been evident:<\/p>\n So, you see, the world\u2019s obsession with self is nothing new. Without proper spiritual authority and guidance, mankind has always done whatever appeases itself. Self-obsession simply plays out in new ways from generation to generation as society, culture, and technology advance.\u00a0<\/p>\n The Bible even teaches that when we see the continual rise of wickedness and self-seeking sin in the world, it is the passive wrath of God on display, where He actually gives people over to their selfish desires:<\/p>\n Even going back to one of the first verses I mentioned regarding the spectrum of self-love that the Bible teaches, we see Paul giving a strong warning to Timothy about how much the sinful type of self-love will escalate in the last days of mankind:<\/p>\n You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be tough times.\u00a0 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred.\u00a0 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n 2 Timothy 3:1-3 NLT<\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/em>Very strong words! Yet, if we are being honest, we can acknowledge that we see this in everyday life all over the globe.<\/p>\n As Christians, just like with any other sin, God has to teach us His righteous and holy standards \u2013 how He wants us to live. \u00a0We must learn to trade the self-centered love that our sinful nature produces and craves for the sacrificial, selfless love of Christ.\u00a0 And that starts with understanding that the version of ourselves we are called to love is the \u201cnew nature\u201d or \u201cnew self\u201d we have in Christ.<\/p>\n One of the biggest lies and deceptions from secular culture is that we are perfect just the way we are.\u00a0 This is one of the main reasons why the Progressive Christianity movement has grown so much in the last few decades.\u00a0 Because you have \u201cprofessing Christians\u201d teaching false doctrines such as this that align with culture instead of the Word of God.<\/p>\n The Bible is clear \u2013 we are ALL born sinners in need of redemption, and that redemption is found in Jesus Christ alone. \u00a0Not in any other religion, or \u201cspirituality\u201d, crystals, cults, witchcraft, meditation, the universe, and certainly not in self-affirming mantras.<\/p>\n As Christians, we should have a great appreciation for the fact that although we still have our sinful nature, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we have been given a new nature as well \u2013 the mind of Christ!\u00a0 And this new nature is incapable of sin and ALWAYS wants to please God. It always has godly thoughts and wants to do things God\u2019s way:<\/p>\n Although we are equipped with the mind of Christ, it is imperative to understand that our two natures\/mindsets are ALWAYS fighting against one another:<\/p>\n I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit\u2019s instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won\u2019t always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to.\u00a0For we naturally love to do evil things that are just the opposite from the things that the Holy Spirit tells us to do; and the good things we want to do when the Spirit has his way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n Galatians 5:16-17 TLB<\/em><\/strong><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n As Christians, we are in a daily spiritual war.\u00a0 We often focus on the enemies around us (the devil and secular culture\/influence).\u00a0 But we often forget that our biggest battle often comes from within \u2013 our internal war between our flesh (our old sinful nature) and the Spirit (our new nature).<\/p>\n And make no mistake, there is NOTHING about our old sinful nature that God calls us to love.\u00a0 In fact, the Bible is saturated with verses that talk about the importance of growing in our relationship with God by putting off the things of the old nature and putting on the things of the new nature that please God.\u00a0 Paul said it best:<\/p>\n So, as Christians, are we supposed to walk around hating ourselves, focusing on our flaws and our sins?\u00a0 Absolutely NOT.<\/p>\n However, as Christians, we are NEVER to forget who we truly are \u2013 sinners, saved by grace, who need to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit every single day in order to live in a way that truly pleases God.\u00a0<\/p>\n Yes, our new nature<\/em> is perfect just the way it is, because it stems from a perfect and holy God.\u00a0 That is the part of ourselves that we should love and nourish.\u00a0 But we should despise our old, sinful nature, and be seeking to put off those things within us that do not please God \u2013 that<\/em> is the Christian journey.<\/p>\n So, no, we are NOT perfect just the way we are.\u00a0 In fact, we will NEVER reach perfection this side of heaven.\u00a0 However, God has called us to strive for it in our daily lives while we are on earth.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I don\u2019t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n Philippians 3:12 NLT<\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Do NOT allow the enemy to deceive you into thinking you are okay living in your sin, let alone perfect.\u00a0\u00a0 Let us strive to live victoriously in obedience to God by the power of our new nature.<\/p>\n Since our self-love is sinful and selfish by nature, God not only has to show us what true love is, but He also has to equip us to love in the way He requires us to.<\/p>\n Defining love is the foundation of learning\u00a0how<\/em>\u00a0to love, so I will give you the most concise definition that the Bible teaches: \u00a0God is love.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dear friends, let us love one another,\u00a0for love comes from God.\u00a0 Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.\u00a0\u00a0Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us:\u00a0 He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.\u00a0\u00a0This is love:\u00a0 not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.\u00a0<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n 1 John 4:7-10 NIV<\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This short passage gives us five key points:<\/p>\n Contrary to what secular culture teaches, we must understand that we<\/em> CANNOT define, create, manufacture, or even demonstrate true love on our own.\u00a0\u00a0 God is the definition and epitome of true love, the creator and source of it, and the ultimate demonstrator of it!\u00a0<\/p>\n Since God is love, then we learn from the verses above that love is sacrifice and servanthood \u2013 a huge difference from how secular culture defines love (self-affirmation and affirmation of others).<\/p>\n When we encounter God\u2019s amazing, sacrificial, and overwhelming love for us and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, His Holy Spirit comes to live in us, giving us a new nature and mindset.\u00a0 With this new nature, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to love the way God commands us to:<\/p>\n Yes, Christians and non-Christians alike can do \u201cgood\u201d and \u201cloving things.\u201d\u00a0 After all, the Bible teaches that every human being has a God-given moral compass. \u00a0People will sometimes choose to do what\u2019s right based on that compass, regardless of whether they acknowledge its source. \u00a0This includes \u201cgood deeds\u201d and \u201cacts of love\u201d.<\/p>\n Even Gentiles, who do not have God\u2019s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it. They demonstrate that God\u2019s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n Romans 2:14-15 NLT<\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n However, Scripture defines what true godly love looks like on display \u2013 which NO ONE can fully exhibit without the power of the Holy Spirit:<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\tWe CANNOT truly<\/em> love God, ourselves, or others in a way that pleases God without the help of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n When we rightly understand that God is love and that the Holy Spirit empowers us to love, then it\u2019s just a matter of prioritizing the exhibition of our love.\u00a0<\/p>\n Our sinful nature wants us to elevate ourselves above everything and everyone else \u2013 including God.\u00a0 However, going back to the passage referenced earlier from Matthew, when asked point blank, \u2018What is the greatest commandment,\u2019 Jesus was very clear:<\/p>\n \u2018Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?\u2019 Jesus replied:\u00a0\u2018Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n
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<\/figure>\n<\/div>\nWhat is Self-Love?<\/h2>\n
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The Secular Viewpoint<\/h3>\n
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The Biblical Viewpoint<\/h3>\n
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What Does the Bible Teach About Loving Yourself?<\/h2>\n
1. We Are ALL Born With the Nature to Express the Sinful Type of Self-Love<\/h3>\n
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2. We Should Love Our New Nature from Christ and Despise Our Old Sinful Nature<\/h3>\n
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3. The Holy Spirit Empowers Us to Love in the Way That Pleases God<\/h3>\n
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4. Loving God Should Take Precedence Over Loving Ourselves<\/h3>\n
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