{"id":324521,"date":"2025-11-30T10:39:31","date_gmt":"2025-11-30T10:39:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/stop-saying-these-things-to-dog-owners-were-begging-you\/"},"modified":"2025-11-30T10:39:31","modified_gmt":"2025-11-30T10:39:31","slug":"stop-saying-these-things-to-dog-owners-were-begging-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=324521","title":{"rendered":"Stop Saying These Things to Dog Owners (We’re Begging You)"},"content":{"rendered":"


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My eyes flutter open with the rise of the late summer sun. The air is cool and it\u2019s quiet\u2013ideal for a long tail run.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We arrived the evening prior to get an early start on the 16-mile mountain lakes trail loop\u2013a favorite for both Sitka and me. For my water-obsessed heeler, this was basically Disney World, Christmas morning, and his birthday rolled into one.<\/p>\n

As I load up my hydration pack with snacks and water, Sitka is somewhere nearby hunting for squirrels and other critters in the woods. I grab a handful of huckleberries straight from the bush at our campsite and head toward the trail.<\/p>\n

The first few miles are pure magic\u2014that crisp mountain air, the sound of our feet finding rhythm on the packed dirt, Sitka\u2019s ears perked forward as he catches his first glimpse of water. We\u2019re in our element.<\/p>\n

By mile 10, we\u2019ve already hit seven lakes, and Sitka has taken his mandatory victory lap swim in each one. I\u2019m feeling strong, settled into that ultra-runner groove where everything just flows. This is exactly why I do this\u2014for moments when it\u2019s just me, my dog, and the trail stretching ahead.<\/p>\n

Just after departing our final lake around mile 15, I notice an increase of foot traffic. We\u2019re several hours into our run and our termination point is a popular starting point for hikers. I anticipated as such and knew that we\u2019d likely have to pull over frequently to allow people and dogs to pass.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Up ahead I spot a friendly German Shepherd. No big deal\u2014I\u2019ve taught Sitka an automatic recall when we see dogs and people. He whips around and hops onto a nearby log while we wait for them to pass.<\/p>\n

The owner rounds the bend, leash in hand, and I\u2019m expecting the usual polite nod and \u201cgood morning\u201d exchange that happens between trail users.<\/p>\n

Instead, he stops. Looks at me, looks at Sitka, and asks the question that makes my eye twitch every single time:<\/p>\n

\u201cCan our dogs play?\u201d<\/p>\n

I blink. Then blink again.<\/p>\n

We are 15 miles deep into a trail run, my shorts have a pretty cool Spirograph design on the butt thanks to salt stains, and Sitka is laser-focused on getting back to our run. We are clearly\u2014CLEARLY\u2014in the middle of something.<\/p>\n

This guy wants to turn our final mile into a yappy hour.<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? No.\u201d I replied, probably with a dull energy that would land me a role in the next Clear Eyes commercial. \u201cWe\u2019re running.\u201d<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t wait for a response, only for them to pass by enough so we could continue our run, rolling my eyes as we started our lope.<\/p>\n

This wasn\u2019t the first time we\u2019ve been asked to participate in an impromptu trail social with strangers, and I know it won\u2019t be the last. It baffles me every time, and it\u2019s not something I\u2019ll ever understand. But I don\u2019t blame owners, I blame dog culture.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There are certain phrases that dog owners hear constantly that need to be retired. Permanently. Here are the biggest offenders that make me want to do exactly what their dogs do when called\u2014pretend we didn\u2019t hear and keep moving.<\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"
Note my puppy on a long line!<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re just a puppy!\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My personal favorite excuse? When owners claim \u201cthey\u2019re just a puppy\u201d about their bouncing out-of-control one-year-old dog \u201cpuppy\u201d who completely ignores recall commands. What\u2019s going to be the excuse when they\u2019re two? Three? That they\u2019re \u201cstill learning\u201d?<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I can get a brand new eight-week-old Raise & Train puppy to come when called on Day 1 or 2 (thanks to that beautiful long line doing its job).<\/p>\n

Ok, first things first: your dog stopped being a puppy months ago. A one-year-old dog is basically a teenager and certainly has the capability to come when called..<\/p>\n

Second: if your dog won\u2019t come when called, they have zero business being off leash<\/a>. Period. End of discussion. This goes for adult dogs, senior dogs, small dogs, and puppies.<\/p>\n

Lastly, age isn\u2019t an excuse for lack of etiquette. I\u2019m not saying puppies should be little obedient robots, but nor should they just be allowed to do whatever they want to other people because they\u2019re puppies.. You wouldn\u2019t let your toddler run up and tackle strangers at the grocery store, so why is it okay for your \u201cpuppy\u201d to body-slam every dog they see?<\/p>\n

Age is not a free pass for chaos.<\/p>\n

What to do instead:<\/strong> If your dog doesn\u2019t have reliable recall, keep them on a long line until they do. Practice in low-distraction environments first, then gradually work up to more challenging situations.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And please, stop making excuses for behavior.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy dog just wants to play\/say hi!\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Cool story. My dog wants to eat an entire rotisserie chicken, but we don\u2019t always get what we want.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what\u2019s actually happening: your dog has trained you through the fine art of negative reinforcement. They pull toward what they want (adding pressure), you allow them to pull you toward their target (pressure released), and boom\u2014they get rewarded with sniffs, pets, or whatever they were after.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve unintentionally taught your dog that throwing a tantrum is the fastest route to fun town.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, you\u2019re getting dragged around by a four-legged opportunist who\u2019s learned that persistence pays off.<\/p>\n

If you want to teach your dog not to pull toward other dogs, stop taking them for 20-minute leash walks<\/a> around the neighborhood and instead work on engagement-based training and play.<\/p>\n

YOU be the fun! Play tug. Throw a ball. Teach them tricks. Do training games. Be the most interesting thing in their world instead of outsourcing their entertainment to every random moving thing on the block. That\u2019s how you build a dog who actually cares about you.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy dog is friendly\u201d \/ \u201cMy dog is not friendly\u201d \/ \u201cIs your dog friendly?\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

This question\/statement has always made me feel like I\u2019m stuck in some kind of dog owner purgatory where there\u2019s no right answer.<\/p>\n

I used to tell people Sora wasn\u2019t friendly just to keep their boundary-challenged dogs and \u201cbut all dogs love me!\u201d hands away from her. But that felt like lying because Sora WAS friendly\u2014she just didn\u2019t want to say hello to every passing stranger who felt it was their right to invade her personal space.<\/p>\n

I mean, I don\u2019t like people\u2013whether I know them or not\u2013in my personal space, so I\u2019m not sure why society has deemed it acceptable to pet other people\u2019s dogs just because my dog looks soft and cute.<\/p>\n

But explaining that Sora was friendly-with-conditions felt like giving a dissertation every time we left the house. So \u201cnot friendly\u201d became the easiest way to keep the peace, even though it wasn\u2019t really true.<\/p>\n

The whole \u201cfriendly\u201d label is broken anyway. Dogs, like people, are complex. They have preferences, boundaries, and moods. Reducing them to \u201cfriendly\u201d or \u201cnot friendly\u201d is like asking if someone is \u201cnice\u201d\u2014it\u2019s way more complicated than that.<\/p>\n

What to say instead:<\/strong> I simply tell people they cannot pet my dogs. Although Sitka and Alpine are friendly and like people, I don\u2019t a) want them to think that everyone we meet is going to pet them and b) I want to be part of the team that works on changing the narrative that people should pet other people\u2019s dogs. My goal is to train them to leave other people\u2019s dogs alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I say hi\/pet your dog?\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I appreciate that you\u2019re asking instead of just shoving your hand in my dog\u2019s face (seriously, thank you for that basic courtesy), but here\u2019s the thing: I didn\u2019t get my dog to be a public relations ambassador.<\/p>\n

I got my dogs to be MY adventure buddies. To hit the trails with me, camp under the stars, and try new dog sport skills. They\u2019re my training partners, my hiking companions, and my best friends. They weren\u2019t recruited for the job of providing unlimited dopamine hits to strangers.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s wild how culturally acceptable it\u2019s become to assume you have some kind of right to pet other people\u2019s dogs. Like they\u2019re public property or something. And the reactions I get when I politely decline? You\u2019d think I just committed some cardinal sin.<\/p>\n

The real animal lovers? They leave my dogs alone. They appreciate them from a distance, maybe smile and keep walking. They understand that not every dog interaction needs to be hands-on.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the same reason you don\u2019t touch a pregnant woman\u2019s belly or a Black woman\u2019s hair without permission. Basic respect for boundaries\u2014novel concept, right?<\/p>\n

How to say no gracefully:<\/strong> \u201cThanks for asking, but I\u2019m sorry you can\u2019t pet my dog.<\/a>\u201d You don\u2019t owe anyone a detailed explanation. A simple \u201cno thanks\u201d with a smile is perfectly acceptable.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan they say hi\/play?\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Lean in close<\/em> I\u2019m about to share something revolutionary with you:<\/p>\n

Dogs can exist in the same space without interacting.<\/p>\n

I know, I know. Mind-blowing stuff.<\/p>\n

We can walk down the same street and just keep moving. We can pass each other on trails and continue on our respective adventures. We can sit at neighboring tables at a dog-friendly cafe and just enjoy our coffee while our dogs chill at our feet.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t let my dogs interact with random dogs, and here\u2019s why: most dogs haven\u2019t been taught basic manners, they\u2019re rude, and their owners have about as much control over them as I have over the weather.<\/p>\n

My job is to be a leader for my dogs and part of that means not allowing strange dogs into their space. The risk of a fight is simply too high and something that could damage our relationship and my dog\u2019s confidence.<\/p>\n

But mostly, it comes back to the same point I keep making: I got my dogs for ME. To play with ME. To work with ME. To be part of MY life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your game plan:<\/strong> Practice the \u201clet\u2019s go\u201d command and reward your dog for disengaging from other dogs. If someone asks for a meet-and-greet, you can say \u201cNo, thanks!\u201d and keep moving. You\u2019re not being rude\u2014you\u2019re advocating for your dog.<\/p>\n