This article is the third and final in my series paying tribute to my Dad, who passed away late this summer. The earlier articles in this trilogy include: Leadership and Management Lessons from Losing Dad<\/strong><\/a> and Life and Leadership Lessons from Dad\u2019s Amazing Early Life.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Thank you to all who have expressed their support and appreciation for the insights I am sharing.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n \u2014<\/p>\n Dad conducted a master class in overcoming adversity as a child. From an early age placement in an orphanage to navigating poverty, suffering from severe crossed eyes until a radical surgery in his teens, he personified tenacity. We called it \u201csticktoitiveness,\u201d and to Dad, this was a key to success. He carried this forward through his life.<\/span><\/p>\n While I suspect the experience of being abandoned as a young child of four or five left scars, we never heard about those until the Dementia kicked in. Instead, we heard about how his early life forged his sense of independence and drive to fend for himself, and ultimately, his family. This is the Dad we knew. <\/span><\/p>\n In my prior article on Dad\u2019s early life, I ended with a scene I observed as a young child. Mom and Dad are sitting at the dining room table of their first house, and I\u2019m in the living room playing. <\/span><\/p>\n I knew their discussion was serious, and I distinctly recall his words. \u201cIf I take the job they\u2019re offering me in the office, I\u2019ll have to take a pay cut.\u201d<\/em> It was no secret that money was tight. I knew that when they closed on their house and couldn\u2019t scrape up enough cash for us to get a bite to eat at what passed for a fast food restaurant in those days. <\/span><\/p>\n I sensed that this decision was significant, although I didn\u2019t realize how much of their life would pivot on his choice. <\/span><\/p>\n Mom was more reassuring. I don\u2019t remember her exact words, but I remember her encouraging him to do it. (Sidebar: Mom offered a significant number of life and leadership lessons that guide me to this day. That\u2019s another article. This one\u2019s for Dad.)<\/span><\/p>\n Dad took the job, shifting from a plant employee to purchasing manager. He walked out the door 40 years later as president of the company. <\/span><\/p>\n When talking with him, he credited the firm\u2019s Treasurer, Harold, for taking a liking to him. \u201cHarold liked my work ethic and thought I was smart. He\u2019s the one who opened this door for me.\u201d <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Providing people with opportunities to prove themselves was a hallmark of his leadership style. <\/span><\/p>\n Dad in his early office days<\/p>\n<\/div>\n One of the privileges of my life was the opportunity to see Dad in his working environment as a rising executive. From the age of 13, when I was hired part-time to paste labels on cans and later plastic bottles, and through many summers during high school and college, I worked in every part of the plant. <\/span><\/p>\n Of course, this wasn\u2019t the chemical packaging plant Dad started in. It was the one he designed and built. Literally, he laid out the tank farm, pumping system, packaging lines, explosion-proof room, blending systems, and warehousing. In my earlier article, I shared that Dad dropped out of high school, eventually earning a GED. <\/span><\/p>\n Note: no engineering degree.<\/span><\/p>\n I was present for the shift from the original location to the next. During the summer the plant was being built, we traveled together every day into the city where I did odd jobs. We would drive home in the late afternoons, listening to the local jazz station, and talk about the plant he was building. Dad found an extra gear for this project, and I was fascinated as he explained the intricacies of the design work to safely pump and package volatile, flammable, and caustic chemicals. <\/span><\/p>\n I was there when an unexpected flood destroyed the tank farm during construction. He led the rebuild. (And many years later, following retirement, they engaged him to lead the regulatory-driven rebuild of this farm.) <\/span><\/p>\n Having the chance to work in the environment that Dad created and observe as the company flourished and grew offered invaluable leadership and life lessons. I got the opportunity to watch my Dad grow as a leader in real time.<\/span><\/p>\n I am a tenacious person. I pale in comparison to the \u201csticktoitiveness\u201d my Dad displayed for complex challenges of all types. Whether we were working together on a home improvement project, solving a car problem, or repairing one of the endless things that needed fixing at the lake, he always knew there was a way forward. When I was ready to give up and pay to fix it, he would remind me, \u201cA little tenacity will go a long way.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n He was right. <\/span><\/p>\n I loved seeing how Dad engaged with the plant workers. You could tell there was a respect for their work and for them as individuals. After all, that\u2019s where he started. The respect was reciprocated. They knew his roots, and they appreciated his character and how he engaged with them.<\/span><\/p>\n When he was negotiating, firing someone, or offering constructive feedback, respect was always present. <\/span><\/p>\n Dad faced numerous uncomfortable moments in his career. Negotiating with the union, suppliers, or powerful retailers was a part of his role. He regularly testified in product liability cases where the goal of opposing counsel is to make you look incompetent. He developed a reputation as someone opposing counsel couldn\u2019t beat. <\/span><\/p>\n In one situation, he was preparing to negotiate with one of the country\u2019s most powerful retailers. He wasn\u2019t negotiating with the purchasing department; he was dealing with the founder of the firm. The founder had a reputation for strong-arming vendors into massive price concessions. Dad sat across the desk from him and stood his ground on pricing. After a protracted silence, the founder nodded and said, \u201cLet\u2019s do it.\u201d Almost thirty years after that negotiation, the company\u2019s products are prominently displayed and sold in those stores. <\/span><\/p>\n Long before the term \u201cexecutive presence\u201d was commonplace, Dad understood the elements of projecting strength and command through his communication style and body language. <\/span><\/p>\n I observed him engaging with suppliers, trucking companies, and even some particularly tough characters on the plant floor. I was present when he debated the firm\u2019s executives on a strategic decision. It wasn\u2019t a fair fight. They adopted Dad\u2019s path.<\/span><\/p>\n You knew he was in charge. Fear was nowhere to be seen in the arena, and his vocal approach and body language conveyed competence and authority. He backed it up with his intelligence, but he never crossed the line into arrogance. <\/span><\/p>\n While I didn\u2019t think in terms of executive presence as a 20-year-old, those attributes of his left a lasting impression on me. To the wrong person, he could be intimidating. To everyone else, well, he was an expert and in charge. <\/span><\/p>\n Dad operated with the mindset that there was a right and a wrong, a black or white. Gray didn\u2019t have a home in his thinking. The only path forward was to do the right thing, no matter how difficult it was. I learned never to take the easy path if it meant compromising values or going gray on right or wrong. I can\u2019t tell you how many times I came back to this lesson from him as I faced my challenging decisions and situations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I remember an occasion when I saw his empathy powerfully on display. A long-time plant employee had run into life problems and was bringing toxicity into the workplace. Dad worked with him. Gave him multiple chances. And when the worker\u2019s behavior escalated to a fireable offense, Dad stepped up and did what was right for everyone. Dad was kind in his explanation of his decision and offered ongoing help. The individual (\u2018Ken\u2019) was angry and his response to Dad was, \u201cI\u2019m coming back to kick your a@@.\u201d Dad\u2019s reaction: \u201cWhatever you think you need to do, Ken.\u201d <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Ken came back a few months later, asking at reception for Dad. Dad met him in the lobby, unsure of what to expect. Ken apologized for his behavior, indicated that he deserved to be fired, and appreciated the way Dad handled it. <\/span><\/p>\n Cue the lesson. <\/span><\/p>\n Dad loved his family. He was involved, always there to offer support for a problem or project. He found time for us. The experiences and memories we created as a family are priceless. <\/span><\/p>\n He loved his wife, my mother. <\/span>When Mom was dying of cancer, Dad taught us all what it looks like to be a caregiver.<\/span><\/p>\n After she passed, he loved his partner. He was extremely generous with my brother and me, as well as his grandchildren. <\/span><\/p>\n Dad encouraged me to be a leader, long before I knew what that meant. <\/span><\/p>\n He set high expectations for his sons, yet never so high as to create unreasonable pressure. <\/span>He wanted us to be intrinsically motivated. He wanted us to be tenacious in the face of challenges, as he had been throughout his life.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Our parents are much more than their work selves. They\u2019re teachers, coaches, disciplinarians, and sources of inspiration. They ground us in values. They help us form our character. We are both reflections and extensions of them. They\u2019re also humans who have faults, make mistakes, and struggle from time to time like the rest of us. <\/span><\/p>\n They say you don\u2019t really grow up until you no longer have your parents with you. I hate this lesson. I don\u2019t love a world without my parents. It\u2019s lonelier, and the world is a poorer place for the loss of their wisdom. I\u2019m mourning. Yet, I have these indelible lessons to draw upon and keep me moving forward. My goal is to pay Dad\u2019s lessons forward to my sons and grandchildren. It\u2019s the best I can do to honor him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This article and the series don\u2019t do justice to what I learned from my Dad about leading and living. Nonetheless, there are lessons for all of us in how he lived his life. <\/span><\/p>\n It was an honor to be his son.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\nTaking a step back to move forward<\/span><\/h2>\n
A unique vantage point to see Dad in action<\/span><\/h3>\n
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<\/p>\nLife and leadership lessons from Dad <\/span><\/h2>\n
Tenacity is essential for success.<\/span><\/h3>\n
Respect is never negotiable.<\/span><\/h3>\n
Strength is essential <\/span><\/h3>\n
Presence is an integral part of success.<\/span><\/h3>\n
Doing the right thing was the only way forward<\/h3>\n
Empathy is free \u2014 use it liberally<\/h3>\n
Dad taught me how to be a better father and husband<\/span><\/h3>\n
The Bottom Line for Now:<\/span><\/h2>\n
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