\n<\/p>\n
When I was a MAGA<\/a> believer, I told myself I was fighting for freedom. I was certain we needed a revolution to tear down our established political order.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It<\/span> took me years to realize what I was really after: a sense of belonging.<\/p>\n Just like their liberal and moderate compatriots, most people inside the MAGA community sense that something in the country is amiss. Once you\u2019ve built your identity around a cause, however, it\u2019s painful to admit that identity may be based on falsehoods. Leaving doesn\u2019t just mean changing<\/a> your mind \u2014 it means losing your community, your purpose and the feeling that you matter.<\/p>\n I know this because I lived it. For years, I was so deep in MAGA that it strained my relationships with my wife and longtime friends. I even became a MAGA pundit, writing op-eds and hosting a podcast in the hopes of getting Trump\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n My journey out of MAGA began when Ron DeSantis<\/a>, the governor of my state, began to platform anti-vaccine conspiracy theorists. That led me to go back and learn what really happened at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021<\/a>. I felt shock. Grief. Guilt. Rage at myself. Shame.<\/p>\n For a full year, I vacillated between being in and out of MAGA. On one hand, I couldn\u2019t come to terms with the casual acceptance of avoidable deaths and needless suffering, the lies, and the justification of violence. But on the other, MAGA\u2019s gravitational pull remained formidable.<\/p>\n Then came the final straw: the school massacre<\/a> in Uvalde, Texas. Shortly after that, I quietly left the movement. Three months later, I went public<\/a> on Salon with my renunciation of MAGA and my opposition to Donald Trump<\/a>.<\/p>\n Given my experience, I think I understand MAGA Americans pretty well, and my gut feeling is that most of them would agree that Trump is not an honest man. But after all these years, MAGA is bigger than one man, even if he remains its central figure. It\u2019s a culture that offers recognition and validation to those who feel unseen and unheard. Aggrievement and isolation, perversely enough, became the glue that holds the community together. For many people, aligning with MAGA and Trump is almost literally a cry for help. Some of Salon\u2019s readers will no doubt disagree with this, but I believe most in MAGA are good people who have been led astray, exploited and manipulated.<\/p>\n After all these years, MAGA is bigger than one man, even if he remains its central figure. It\u2019s a culture that offers recognition and validation to those who feel unseen and unheard. Aggrievement and isolation, perversely enough, became the glue that holds the community together.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n I can also tell you that there is a line of demarcation for many inside MAGA \u2014 a moment when the cruelty and chaos become too much. Many are facing their own versions of that moment right now, nearly a year into Trump\u2019s catastrophic second term. There are moments of clarity, and although they usually have nothing to do with issues of policy or ideology to us, such moments do arrive. Don\u2019t give up on your friends or family who are still loyal to MAGA. I understand the importance of this, because the people closest to me didn\u2019t give up on me.<\/p>\n Some people still affiliated with MAGA are going through an existential crisis right now, as they gradually come to realize that they have believed years\u2019 worth of lies. There are also the tariffs, the inhumane immigration policies, the blatant abridgement of constitutional rights and the story that won\u2019t go away: the files pertaining to Jeffrey Epstein, the late child sex trafficker. We still don\u2019t know exactly how close Trump was to Epstein\u2019s crimes, but probably closer than he has let on.<\/p>\n We can be there for these when they have doubts, with empathy. Or we can shame and ostracize them. To leave MAGA, a person must accept responsibility for their past actions and rhetoric. For those who are ready for that kind of accountability, are you ready to welcome them?<\/p>\n One of the biggest reasons people don\u2019t leave MAGA is fear \u2014 not just the fear of losing their community, but the fear of being rejected and ostracized by the rest of society for having participated in the movement. The judgment of others, whether real or imagined, keeps many people stuck. I was afraid of losing my de facto family of MAGA believers, including many people I\u2019d grown close to.<\/p>\n Liberals aren\u2019t wrong about the dangers of MAGA, but they don\u2019t make it easy for people to leave. Ridicule and moral superiority can too easily close the door to honest dialogue, while empathy and understanding, difficult as they may be, open the path to genuine transformation.<\/p>\n I\u2019m confident that many liberals would welcome those who walk away from MAGA. But the loudest voices offering only contempt and scorn are found \u2014 where else? \u2014 online.<\/p>\n I spend a lot of time online, like so many of us. I see how distorted that world is. Outrage is its currency. Misinformation, conspiracy theory and disinformation spread like mold in a flooded house, permeating so many discussions.<\/p>\n The explosion of social media around the time of Barack Obama\u2019s election permanently changed our national political discourse. Political identity became a public performance. We saw the Tea Party rise and the explosion of anti-Obama animus fueled by new technology that capitalized on outrage and community-as-conflict.<\/p>\n Many people are drawn to MAGA because they feel left behind \u2014 economically, culturally and politically. When people experience loss or humiliation, they become vulnerable to movements that offer simple villains and a sense of community.<\/p>\n Liberals and anti-Trump Republicans have helped fuel the resentment among MAGA Americans. Terms such as \u201cuneducated\u201d and \u201cflyover country\u201d may seem casual, but they are received as hurtful insults that betray a deep contempt. Many people in MAGA already felt wounded \u2014 by political betrayal, economic instability and the feeling they had been forgotten. That pain made them more susceptible to Trump\u2019s propaganda, and the right-wing influencers who magnified it many times over, recasting legitimate disaffection as proof of a grand \u201celite\u201d conspiracy against true, patriotic Americans.<\/p>\n Terms such as \u201cuneducated\u201d and \u201cflyover country\u201d may seem casual, but they are received as hurtful insults that betray a deep contempt. Many people in MAGA already felt wounded \u2014 by political betrayal, economic instability and the feeling they had been forgotten.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Inside MAGA, education is not encouraged; hostility to science, higher learning and expertise or intellectualism of any kind is pervasive. This doesn\u2019t mean MAGA supporters lack intelligence or integrity \u2014 it means that the movement punishes any form of curiosity that might threaten its mythologies. I know this because I lived it. MAGA isn\u2019t the only group trapped in an information silo, but none are sealed as tightly. MAGA is a closed, entirely conformist community, where open dissent and discussion are forbidden.<\/p>\n When I was immersed in MAGA, I didn\u2019t realize how much I was manipulated by outrage. There was hardly a second when I wasn\u2019t enraged at someone or something. I lived in a state of near-constant desperation, panic and fear \u2014 convinced that liberalism had failed, that everything was collapsing, and that only \u201cwe\u201d could save the nation. What I couldn\u2019t see was that the outrage was the control mechanism.<\/p>\n I truly believe that America\u2019s divides are not permanent. But healing can only begin when we stop treating each other as enemies and start seeing the human need beneath the anger \u2014 the need to belong, to feel safe.<\/p>\n That\u2019s what drives my organization, Leaving MAGA<\/a>. We host weekly support groups that provide a compassionate space for people who are grappling with what MAGA has done to those close to them. We grieve the losses and explore time-tested ways to open the door for a loved one\u2019s possible return. (The next step, we hope, will be to host similar groups for those beginning to question their own involvement in MAGA.)<\/p>\n Our project has less to do with changing people\u2019s minds than coming together to combat the desolation and fear that nurture and feed the MAGA movement.<\/p>\n We use proven communication strategies for navigating relationships with MAGA-identified friends and family. These were developed by Julianna Forlano, a therapist, transformational coach and facilitator who has been teaching<\/a> compassion-based approaches to conflict and healing for decades.<\/p>\n Want more sharp takes on politics? Sign up for our free newsletter<\/a>, Standing Room Only by Amanda Marcotte, also a weekly show on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Forlano understands the difficulty level involved for many people whose friends or family members have embraced MAGA ideas they find hateful.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen people you love are voting to take away your bodily autonomy and your dignity, showing compassion can feel impossible,\u201d she says. \u201cDuring our groups we hold space for those feelings, reminding the afflicted that nonviolence doesn\u2019t mean passivity or self-erasure. It means refusing to let cruelty determine who you become. Setting boundaries, speaking truth and protecting yourself are acts of compassion \u2014 both for you and for the world you\u2019re trying to mend.\u201d<\/p>\n Although there are no easy solutions, Forlano offers the following practical reminders for practicing nonviolent communication.<\/p>\n Remember to breathe<\/strong>. Take space before you respond. Breathing isn\u2019t just a pause \u2014 it\u2019s a boundary. It lets you step out of the tornado of reactivity and remember who you are. Then you can consider not responding at all. The question during the breath is not, \u201cWhat do I say?\u201d but rather, \u201cWho am I in this moment?\u201d<\/p>\n Remember to let go<\/strong>. MAGA is like an addiction. Your loved one is exhibiting symptoms of outrage illness \u2014 they are hooked on anger, constantly seeking the next dopamine hit of indignation. What\u2019s coming at you isn\u2019t really them; it\u2019s the sickness. Don\u2019t take it personally. You didn\u2019t cause it, and you can\u2019t cure it.<\/p>\n Remember to stay active<\/strong>. Stop trying to control what you can\u2019t change \u2014 including your loved one\u2019s perceptions or ideology. You can\u2019t be a prophet in your own land. Instead, harness the energy spent trying to convince your loved one of their mistakes and put it where it can bear fruit. Be active elsewhere \u2014 in your community, your art, your organizing. Build the kind of world you want to see. Don\u2019t allow yourself to become trapped by grief; live in the world you\u2019re trying to heal and leave room for your relationships to take the path they need to take.<\/p>\n Remember to grieve<\/strong>. We have to grieve what\u2019s been lost \u2014 relationships, trust, the illusion of safety \u2014 in order to understand what we still have and begin to rebuild anew. Grief creates fertile ground for something new to grow. As we have found in these support groups, you are not alone.<\/p>\n Read more<\/p>\n from Rich Logis on MAGA in crisis<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nIs online judgment really worth it?<\/h2>\n
How MAGA took root<\/h2>\n
The work ahead won\u2019t be easy<\/h2>\n