{"id":306361,"date":"2025-11-20T14:33:36","date_gmt":"2025-11-20T14:33:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/what-do-you-want-me-to-do-a-tip-for-relationships\/"},"modified":"2025-11-20T14:33:36","modified_gmt":"2025-11-20T14:33:36","slug":"what-do-you-want-me-to-do-a-tip-for-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=306361","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Want Me to Do? A Tip for Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div xmlns:default=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\">\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-ywgt5271\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><em style=\"font-style:italic\"><span>Feeling like a nagging wife or partner? Here\u2019s a tip to change that dynamic.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><h3 class=\"Njwtn b3yOZ KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-es14d64\"><span class=\"Tcz9z\"><span>KEY POINTS<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<ul class=\"_4ZJKX KVAVd\">\n<li dir=\"auto\" aria-level=\"1\" class=\"qUi3b\" style=\"margin-inline-start:1.5em;list-style-type:disc\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"\" id=\"viewer-bkcf968\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>It feels bad to be in the role of \u201cnagging partner\u201d and also to be told what to do.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li dir=\"auto\" aria-level=\"1\" class=\"qUi3b\" style=\"margin-inline-start:1.5em;list-style-type:disc\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"\" id=\"viewer-1t9fn71\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>Listening to anger in the body helps understanding.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li dir=\"auto\" aria-level=\"1\" class=\"qUi3b\" style=\"margin-inline-start:1.5em;list-style-type:disc\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"\" id=\"viewer-3ytj974\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>It&#8217;s possible to &#8220;teach an old dog new tricks.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<div class=\"yIaPa\" id=\"viewer-ijt4a1948\">\n<div class=\"-B2za _46-i0\">\n<figure class=\"Berpf\" data-hook=\"figure-IMAGE\">\n<div data-hook=\"image-viewer\" class=\"-Jv3q\">\n<div style=\"--dim-height:520;--dim-width:785;--ricos-image-default-border-color:unset\" id=\"ijt4a1948\" class=\"qgjoK el5fm o2n-a\" data-hook=\"image-viewer-ijt4a1948\"><wow-image id=\"b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg\" class=\"undefined F5cHb\" data-image-info=\"{&quot;containerId&quot;:&quot;ijt4a1948&quot;,&quot;alignType&quot;:&quot;center&quot;,&quot;displayMode&quot;:&quot;fill&quot;,&quot;isLQIP&quot;:true,&quot;isSEOBot&quot;:false,&quot;lqipTransition&quot;:&quot;blur&quot;,&quot;encoding&quot;:&quot;AVIF&quot;,&quot;imageData&quot;:{&quot;width&quot;:785,&quot;height&quot;:520,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg&quot;,&quot;name&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;displayMode&quot;:&quot;fill&quot;}}\" data-motion-part=\"BG_IMG ijt4a1948\" data-bg-effect-name=\"\" data-has-ssr-src=\"https:\/\/www.hilaryjacobshendel.com\/post\/true\" data-animate-blur=\"\" data-is-responsive=\"https:\/\/www.hilaryjacobshendel.com\/post\/true\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.wixstatic.com\/media\/b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg\/v1\/fill\/w_141,h_94,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,blur_2,enc_avif,quality_auto\/b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg\" alt=\"Fair and balanced division of labor helps a relationship improve.\" style=\"width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;object-position:50% 50%;max-width:100%\" data-pin-url=\"https:\/\/www.hilaryjacobshendel.com\/post\/what-do-you-want-me-to-do-relationship-tip\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/static.wixstatic.com\/media\/b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg\/v1\/fill\/w_785,h_520,al_c,q_85\/b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278~mv2.jpeg\" draggable=\"false\"\/><\/wow-image><\/div>\n<p><button class=\"wwXRO\" type=\"button\" data-hook=\"image-expand-button\" aria-label=\"Expand image\"><default:svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewbox=\"0 0 19 19\" class=\"pRguY\"><default:path d=\"M15.071 8.371V4.585l-4.355 4.356a.2.2 0 0 1-.283 0l-.374-.374a.2.2 0 0 1 0-.283l4.356-4.355h-3.786a.2.2 0 0 1-.2-.2V3.2c0-.11.09-.2.2-.2H16v5.371a.2.2 0 0 1-.2.2h-.529a.2.2 0 0 1-.2-.2zm-6.5 6.9v.529a.2.2 0 0 1-.2.2H3v-5.371c0-.11.09-.2.2-.2h.529c.11 0 .2.09.2.2v3.786l4.355-4.356a.2.2 0 0 1 .283 0l.374.374a.2.2 0 0 1 0 .283L4.585 15.07h3.786c.11 0 .2.09.2.2z\" fill=\"#000\" fill-rule=\"nonzero\"\/><\/default:svg><\/button><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-t44571956\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>My husband used to say to me, \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-l8b753\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>He\u2019d say this in response to my complaints that the house was messy, or that we needed groceries, or that we hadn\u2019t made social plans, or that we had guests coming, or that the laundry was building up, and other complaints.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-1a8ya5\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>When he asked, &#8216;What do you want me to do?&#8217; it triggered my annoyance, which eventually turned into rage. For years, I responded with an angry tone, simply telling him what I wanted him to do.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-2pn2y26\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>After honing my self-awareness and <\/span><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hilaryjacobshendel.com\/whats-the-change-triangle\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"Y2xcL uFqDN\" data-hook=\"web-link\"><u style=\"text-decoration:underline\"><span>Change Triangle<\/span><\/u><\/a><span> skills, I began to get ever more curious about my angry response. Why did Jon asking me what I wanted him to do cause me such irritation and <\/span><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hilaryjacobshendel.com\/post\/2017\/02\/12\/why-are-people-mean\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" class=\"Y2xcL uFqDN\" data-hook=\"web-link\"><u style=\"text-decoration:underline\"><span>anger<\/span><\/u><\/a><span>?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-8845j32\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>One day, I thought to think and, most importantly, feel more about it. I turned inward to find the anger in my body. I asked my anger what exactly pissed me off, and then I listened to what my anger communicated. It was then that I realized Jon\u2019s question made me feel like a \u201cnagging wife.\u201d This felt unfair. We both had careers, we both owned the house, and we both benefited from the execution of the household chores. So how did I become the one doling out tasks?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-vum7j34\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>Then one day, I had an epiphany.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><h2 class=\"bk4bG b3yOZ KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-i8rmz2167\"><span class=\"Tcz9z\"><span>Changing the relationship dynamic<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-83aud36\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>I started asking my husband to join me in noticing what chores in the house<\/span><em style=\"font-style:italic\"><span> needed to be done<\/span><\/em><span>. I said, \u201cI\u2019m your partner, and we both have equal responsibility for the tasks that need attention. Do you agree?&#8221; <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-9gj7u3304\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>After making a few jokes, he agreed. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-9dxaj40\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>That change in perspective not only shifted our negative dynamic but also improved how we communicated and how we both felt about ourselves and our relationship.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-44ty442\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>From then on, when Jon asked, \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d I responded with, I want you to relax, watch TV, and do whatever you want. But do you mean, <\/span><strong style=\"font-weight:700\"><em style=\"font-style:italic\"><span>What needs to be done?<\/span><\/em><\/strong><span>\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-h4cc644\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>\u201cYes!\u201d Jon would say. \u201cWhat needs to be done?\u201d And then, together, we discussed the tasks that needed attention and divided up the responsibilities.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-hliux46\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>It took some time to change old habits. But now, we have a new normal. Jon never says to me anymore, \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d Now we ask each other, \u201cWhat needs to be done?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-kfi1p48\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>Who says you can\u2019t teach an old dog new tricks?!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-breakout=\"normal\">\n<p class=\"IFLJx f1-1G KVAVd sDlj2\" dir=\"auto\" id=\"viewer-tjkiv50\"><span class=\"GnvzP\"><span>This shift has been so helpful to me that I thought to pay it forward to you.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feeling like a nagging wife or partner? Here\u2019s a tip to change that dynamic. KEY POINTS It feels bad to be in the role of \u201cnagging partner\u201d and also to be told what to do. Listening to anger in the body helps understanding. It&#8217;s possible to &#8220;teach an old dog new tricks.&#8221; My husband used [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":306362,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[121950,137187,124045,134966,96625,96957,127437,98236],"tags":[7613,6985],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-306361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anger","category-assertiveness","category-awareness","category-conflict","category-family","category-partnership","category-perfectionism","category-relationships","tag-relationships","tag-tip"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Do You Want Me to Do? A Tip for Relationships - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=306361\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Do You Want Me to Do? A Tip for Relationships - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Feeling like a nagging wife or partner? Here\u2019s a tip to change that dynamic. KEY POINTS It feels bad to be in the role of \u201cnagging partner\u201d and also to be told what to do. Listening to anger in the body helps understanding. It&#8217;s possible to &#8220;teach an old dog new tricks.&#8221; My husband used [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=306361\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-11-20T14:33:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/b99787_04acc602c26946f4b3391df01e009278mv2.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"785\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=306361#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=306361\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b85e3c3dc0e1daea076524dc8810c371\"},\"headline\":\"What Do You Want Me to Do? 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