{"id":300612,"date":"2025-06-18T13:27:13","date_gmt":"2025-06-18T13:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/the-science-of-achieving-your-potential\/"},"modified":"2025-06-18T13:27:13","modified_gmt":"2025-06-18T13:27:13","slug":"the-science-of-achieving-your-potential","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=300612","title":{"rendered":"The Science of Achieving Your Potential"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p>Do you have a growth mindset? Do you even know what a growth mindset is? Maybe you do. But until recently, I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>And when I went on a little journey to learn more about it (and how to get one o\u2019 them fancy mindsets for myself), what I learned kind of blew my mind\u2026 set.<\/p>\n<p>To get you started on your own journey to a growth mindset\u2014which, according to the scientists basically unlocks your full potential as a human\u2014I\u2019ll ask you a question:<\/p>\n<p>When I say Michael Jordan, what comes to mind first?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Speed?<\/li>\n<li>Agility?<\/li>\n<li>Power?<\/li>\n<li>Raw talent?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You might expect any of those answers. But what about <em>hard work<\/em>? Did that make your list? And if so, how far down?<\/p>\n<p>When the typical sports fan watches clips of Jordan and sees his career stats, they picture the talent he had to possess to achieve that.<\/p>\n<p>But what does <em>Jordan<\/em> think about Jordan\u2019s career? If you listen, you\u2019ll hear him say it many times: incredibly hard work is what made him the legacy he is today.<\/p>\n<p>From the outside, his talent looks effortless. But from the inside, apparently, it looks the opposite.<span id=\"more-7810\"\/><\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7816 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-perception-divide.jpg?resize=1000%2C733&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Growth mindset and the talent perception divide: Was it talent? Or was it hard work you just didn't see?\" width=\"1000\" height=\"733\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-perception-divide.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-perception-divide.jpg?resize=300%2C220&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-perception-divide.jpg?resize=768%2C563&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Why did a man who seems to exude raw talent need to work so hard to get where he is? According to him, the hard work is what <em>enabled<\/em> his talent.<\/p>\n<p>In a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=a40zFyDGMvo\">2013 interview w\/ Ahmad Rashad<\/a>, Jordan talks at length about work ethic and how he <em>thinks<\/em> about his success.<\/p>\n<p>In a seminal moment of the interview, Rashad asks Jordan, <em>\u201cWas fear of failure a motivator?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And Jordan replies without hesitation. <em>\u201cI never feared about my skills, ya know, because I put in the work. Work ethic eliminates fear.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Throughout his career, Jordan displayed what psychologists call the \u201cgrowth mindset\u201d\u2014the belief that effort (not talent) is what generates results.<\/p>\n<p>You can see that mindset at play throughout Jordan\u2019s life, not just during the NBA years. When he moved to baseball, he\u2019d arrive at practice early and hit balls until his hands bled. Today, he works on his businesses\u2014a chain of steakhouses, a car dealership, and an NBA team.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s working. He\u2019s worth almost a $1 billion.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7817 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/talent-pyramid.jpg?resize=1000%2C667&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"The talent pyramid. It's easy to disregard the enormous foundation of hard work (the not fun part) that enables talent to shine (the fun part).\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/talent-pyramid.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/talent-pyramid.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/talent-pyramid.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>If you think you can attribute that much diversity of success to natural talent, you should think again.<\/p>\n<p>According to Jordan, and according to a growing body of research, a <em>growth mindset<\/em> is what enables that kind of success.<\/p>\n<h2>Growth Mindset: What it is and where it came from<\/h2>\n<p>The idea that your mindset affects your life is hardly a new one. Many great thinkers, writers, and orators have extolled the virtues of mastering your mind to improve yourself for centuries. No, <em>millenniums<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Basically, think one way, get one result. Think another, get another.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cYour thoughts determine your reality\u201d<\/em> has been a popular refrain for ages. It sounds good and it feels right, but is it true?<\/p>\n<p>Michael Jordan is just one person on an endless list of anecdotal stories that would say yes.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, anecdotes are unreliable. What we really need is science. Something that puts a stake in the ground and explains <em>why<\/em> the anecdotes work (and how they can work for us).<\/p>\n<p>Enter Carol Dweck, a professor who\u2019s soft-spoken demeanor and fragile constitution could easily conceal her profound knowledge about the way your mind works if it weren\u2019t for the fact that, when she speaks, her conviction forces you to listen.<\/p>\n<p>And that conviction is well earned. Her decades of research into the way we learn has built a sturdy foundation of empirical evidence that tells that, \u201cyes, your mindset matters!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That evidence led to her magnum opus, <a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/2i3GlSf\"><em>Mindset: The New Psychology of Success<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a fascinating read, but the crux of it is that you can measure your mindset on a continuum. At one end of the scale is a fixed mindset. At the other end is growth.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7818 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-continuum.jpg?resize=1000%2C597&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fixed mindset is at one end of the continuum and growth mindset is at the other. The further you are to one end, the more (or less) you embrace learning new things.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-continuum.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-continuum.jpg?resize=300%2C179&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-continuum.jpg?resize=768%2C458&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>What Dweck uncovered is that people on the right (growth mindset) tend to believe their intelligence and their abilities are <em>malleable<\/em>\u2014that they can change (aka <em>grow<\/em>) based on how much effort they put into it. They think about their brain like a muscle. If they use it more and challenge it, it will grow stronger.<\/p>\n<p>And those on the left (fixed mindset) consider those things to be set traits, like their eye color or if they have dimples when they smile. If you\u2019re smart, it\u2019s because you were born that way. If you\u2019re talented, the talent comes from your genes. Not much you can do about it either way.<\/p>\n<p>So that\u2019s a simple explanation of the difference between fixed and growth mindset, but why does it actually <em>matter<\/em>?<\/p>\n<h2>What can a growth mindset actually <em>do<\/em> for you?<\/h2>\n<p>The difference between a fixed and growth mindset is simple to understand. You tend to believe you are who you are and there\u2019s not much you can do about it (fixed). Or, you believe you\u2019re in control of who you are, and you can change if you try (growth).<\/p>\n<p>But is one actually better than the other?<\/p>\n<p>According to Dweck, a growth mindset is absolutely better. In almost every way.<\/p>\n<p>What she discovered through a series of experiments and studies is that people with a growth mindset not only learn <em>more<\/em> new things, but they learn those new things <em>faster<\/em> and <em>better<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>And the long-term outcomes of those findings were crystal clear, too: students with a growth mindset got better grades and ascended to higher levels of achievement later in life. They met more of their goals and stayed on more successful paths.<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p>Because the mindset you have changes everything about how you approach challenges and opportunities\u2014including whether you use the word \u201cchallenge\u201d or \u201copportunity\u201d for the same circumstance.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7819 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-language-barrier.jpg?resize=1000%2C691&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"The mindset language barrier. Your mindset influences your language, and your language influences your mindset. When life happens, choose your words carefully.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"691\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-language-barrier.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-language-barrier.jpg?resize=300%2C207&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-language-barrier.jpg?resize=768%2C531&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>In <em>Mindset<\/em>, Dweck explains that <em>\u201cno matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And according to her research, a growth mindset is what <em>motivates<\/em> you to put in that effort. It\u2019s what makes you dig deep to get through the difficulties of learning something new.<\/p>\n<p>When you believe you\u2019re capable of growing and overcoming obstacles\u2014and that the process can make you smarter, stronger, or better\u2014you feel a lot more motivation to put in the hours of difficult work that will actually get you there.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re striving for something you know you can achieve, so you\u2019re at peace with the struggle.<\/p>\n<p>But when you\u2019re stuck in a fixed mindset, you\u2019re exactly that: stuck.<\/p>\n<p>If you can\u2019t grow, if you can\u2019t learn, if you can\u2019t change, why would you bother trying? You don\u2019t <em>think<\/em> you can do it, and failure would just confirm it.<\/p>\n<p>Would you try to drive your car 300 miles if you only thought you had 100 miles worth of gas in the tank?<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7820 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-gas-gauge.jpg?resize=1000%2C625&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Your mindset is like the gas gauge on your car for the long journey of life. With a growth mindset, you're always ready for the next trip. With a fixed mindset, your tank is always empty when you need it most.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"625\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-gas-gauge.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-gas-gauge.jpg?resize=300%2C188&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/mindset-gas-gauge.jpg?resize=768%2C480&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Dweck\u2019s research shows that the students she examined were far less likely to even <em>try<\/em> to learn something new when they showed signs of a fixed mindset. And when they did try, they didn\u2019t try as hard or for as long.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what Dweck said in <a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/2i3GlSf\"><em>Mindset<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail\u2014or if you\u2019re not the best\u2014it\u2019s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they\u2019re doing regardless of the outcome. They\u2019re tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they haven\u2019t found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>And when you think about it, we all start our lives with an intense growth mindset. That should make it easy and natural to be a growth oriented person. Yet, all of us\u2014at least occasionally\u2014struggle with a fixed mindset.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7821 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-progression.jpg?resize=1000%2C701&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Everyone is born with a growth mindset, but only some of us keep it. You're presented with challenges as life goes on. The way you respond to them will determine the direction your mindset goes.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"701\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-progression.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-progression.jpg?resize=300%2C210&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-progression.jpg?resize=768%2C538&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Again, from Dweck:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>What on earth would make someone a nonlearner? Everyone is born with an intense drive to learn. Infants stretch their skills daily. Not just ordinary skills, but the most difficult tasks of a lifetime, like learning to walk and talk. They never decide it\u2019s too hard or not worth the effort. Babies don\u2019t worry about making mistakes or humiliating themselves. They walk, they fall, they get up. They just barge forward. What could put an end to this exuberant learning? The fixed mindset. As soon as children become able to evaluate themselves, some of them become afraid of challenges. They become afraid of not being smart. I have studied thousands of people from preschoolers on, and it\u2019s breathtaking how many reject an opportunity to learn.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>So, if you want to improve your life and take more control over what you achieve, then it\u2019s clear that a growth mindset is going to be a lot more useful than a fixed one.<\/p>\n<h2>Do you have a growth mindset?<\/h2>\n<p>You probably already have a sense of which side of the spectrum you\u2019re on. But if you\u2019re not certain, here\u2019s a quick, 3-question survey that will give you a (rough) idea of whether you have more of a fixed or growth mindset.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s look at those questions in a little more detail.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Do you think you \u201care who you are\u201d and that won\u2019t change? Or do you think you improve as you learn more?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you think of yourself\u2014your intelligence and your abilities\u2014as something you don\u2019t have control over, you lean towards a fixed mindset.<\/p>\n<p>But if you believe you can change your intelligence and abilities (either by trying hard and growing or by giving up and losing them), then you lean towards a growth mindset.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. If you aced a difficult test, which of these compliments from your family or friends would be most satisfying to you?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">(a) You\u2019re so smart!<br \/>(b)You worked really hard!<\/p>\n<p>If you chose <em>a<\/em>, you lean towards a fixed mindset. If you chose <em>b<\/em>, you trend towards a growth mindset.<\/p>\n<p>People with a fixed mindset value their natural talents above their efforts, so it will be more satisfying to be complimented for being smart.<\/p>\n<p>But people who hold a growth mindset take pride in their hard work more than their natural gifts, so a compliment that notes their effort would be the most encouraging.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. When you don\u2019t understand something, do you tend to ask more or fewer questions about it?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you ask <em>more<\/em> questions, that indicates you have more of a growth mindset. It shows an interest in a subject you don\u2019t fully understand, and that interest comes from a desire to learn\u2014a characteristic of those who aim to <em>grow<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>If you ask <em>fewer<\/em> questions, it indicates you have more of a fixed mindset. You may be less interested in unfamiliar topics, or you may feel some fear about showing others that you don\u2019t know as much as them about something. That\u2019s a characteristic of those who see themselves as <em>fixed<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Take the average of the 3 answers above, and that\u2019s a rough indication of whether you have more of a fixed or growth mindset.<\/p>\n<h2>Is a growth mindset really that simple?<\/h2>\n<p>Yep, it really is!<\/p>\n<p>Where it gets a little more nuanced is judging your own mindset in the day-to-day.<\/p>\n<p>According to Dweck, it\u2019s important to understand that the fixed-growth mindset continuum really <em>is<\/em> a continuum. Some people will fall <em>all<\/em> the way to one end or the other.<\/p>\n<p>Someone like Michael Jordan will believe they\u2019re capable of learning and excelling at <em>anything<\/em>. They have <em>super-growth<\/em> mindsets. And others, like your lazy, whiny cousin in Denver can\u2019t imagine their life going any other direction than the one it\u2019s going now. God forbid they ever change that by trying something different. They have a <em>super-fixed<\/em> mindset.<\/p>\n<p>The rest of us fall somewhere in the middle. We <em>usually<\/em> fall on one side or the other.<\/p>\n<p>And while you have an <em>overall<\/em> mindset, you might find that it\u2019s wildly different around different topics or under different circumstances.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7822 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-spectrum.jpg?resize=1000%2C717&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"You can be growth oriented in one part of life, but fixed in another. You might think you can conquer any cooking challenge while also believing you'll never be great at golf.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"717\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-spectrum.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-spectrum.jpg?resize=300%2C215&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-mindset-spectrum.jpg?resize=768%2C551&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>You might think of yourself as the most capable chef on Earth while simultaneously seeing yourself as the most hopelessly clumsy golfer.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s <em>normal<\/em>. And if you find yourself in that situation, the prescription is simple:<\/p>\n<p>If you generally fall towards the fixed end of the spectrum, you need to work to move over to the growth end\u2014even if just a little bit.<\/p>\n<p>If you generally fall on the growth side, you should work to get closer to the furthest end so that you can bring those thought patterns into all areas of your life.<\/p>\n<p>And if you struggle with a fixed mindset in one particular area, then that is the place you must apply the most effort to improve.<\/p>\n<p>So, where do <em>you<\/em> fall?<\/p>\n<p>And what if you don\u2019t have that coveted growth mindset? Can you develop one?<\/p>\n<p>Yep, you can.<\/p>\n<h2>How to Develop Your Growth Mindset<\/h2>\n<p>This is where we make some real progress.<\/p>\n<p>Now you know what a growth mindset <em>is<\/em>, what it can <em>do<\/em> for you, and whether or not you\u2019ve got one.<\/p>\n<p>But it can be frustrating to understand all that and <em>still<\/em> not know what to do to actually develop it in yourself.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7823 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/castle-happiness.jpg?resize=1000%2C770&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"We're all trying to gain access to &quot;Castle Happiness.&quot; Sometimes, you know what to do to get in, but it still feels really hard to get started.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"770\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/castle-happiness.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/castle-happiness.jpg?resize=300%2C231&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/castle-happiness.jpg?resize=768%2C591&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s fix that.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re confronting your fixed mindset, it can feel like you don\u2019t have any point of reference for how to change it. There\u2019s nothing you can <em>do<\/em>. (That\u2019s the pitfall of the fixed mindset, after all!)<\/p>\n<p>In reality, there <em>is<\/em> something you can do.<\/p>\n<p>You can scavenge your brain and create a list (even if it\u2019s short) of areas in your life where you already have a growth mindset.<\/p>\n<p>The goal is to look for times when you <em>learned<\/em> something and it made you <em>better<\/em>. That\u2019s a perfect example of the growth mindset at work, and every one of us\u2014including you\u2014have experienced it.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve always struggled with math and you tell yourself that\u2019s just <em>you<\/em>. You\u2019re bad with numbers.<\/p>\n<p>But then you remember you picked up a new skill at work\u2014maybe learning how to manage a project or do budget forecasting or\u2026 whatever\u2014really quickly. You\u2019d never used that skill before, but you put in some effort and you learned. Now it\u2019s easy.<\/p>\n<p>Personally, I hold a growth mindset in many areas of my life. I love the <em>effort<\/em> of learning, and I use it to pick up new skills regularly.<\/p>\n<p>But one place I still struggle is with relationships. I\u2019m very introverted and connection has never been effortless for me. When I experience a failure, sometimes I\u2019ll go pretty hard on myself. I\u2019ll say, <em>\u201cTyler, you\u2019re just not a relationship person. It\u2019s not for you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s dangerous! Mostly because it\u2019s not true, and I have proof. There are so many areas of my life where I can see that I\u2019ve had to struggle to learn what feels effortless today. Learning relationships is no different.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7825 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-climb.jpg?resize=1000%2C607&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"When you have a growth mindset, big wins come by accumulating lots of small successes.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"607\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-climb.jpg?w=1000&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-climb.jpg?resize=300%2C182&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riskology.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/growth-climb.jpg?resize=768%2C466&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>When I remind myself I\u2019ve learned other difficult things before and I can see my progress in relationships <em>over time<\/em>, it helps reinforce the growth mindset that I need to keep developing to make more progress.<\/p>\n<h2>Let\u2019s put this \u201cgrowth mindset\u201d stuff to work right now.<\/h2>\n<p>Alright, let\u2019s take everything you just learned and make it immediately useful.<\/p>\n<p>Start by thinking of a goal you\u2019d like to accomplish.<\/p>\n<p>Make it a small one you could complete in the next few days. And make it something you feel like you <em>should<\/em> be able to do, but you can\u2019t right now. Or you haven\u2019t really tried yet.<\/p>\n<p>Your mindset towards this goal has almost certainly held you back from making that initial effort.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve told yourself that it just isn\u2019t <em>in<\/em> you to do it, or you\u2019re not able to find the time to make it happen.<\/p>\n<p>Take a moment to speak to yourself as if you were approaching this goal from a growth mindset\u2014that if you make the time to learn and put in the effort, you will be able to achieve it.<\/p>\n<p>Think of yourself as your own teacher encouraging you to take on a new learning challenge.<\/p>\n<p>And the way I want you to do that is by reminding yourself of examples (the more recent the better) where you achieved something <em>difficult<\/em> by <em>working<\/em> hard for it.<\/p>\n<p>Make a list. It\u2019s really motivating.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, choose one small thing to do (today!) that will move you one step closer to achieving that personal goal. Commit to putting at least 20 minutes of effort towards it.<\/p>\n<p>When you finish, give yourself a compliment, and make it specific. Praise yourself for <em>doing the work<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s see where that gets you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have a growth mindset? Do you even know what a growth mindset is? Maybe you do. But until recently, I didn\u2019t. And when I went on a little journey to learn more about it (and how to get one o\u2019 them fancy mindsets for myself), what I learned kind of blew my mind\u2026 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":300613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[132668,11947],"tags":[7757,12732,3229],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-300612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newsletter-loop","category-psychology","tag-achieving","tag-potential","tag-science"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Science of Achieving Your Potential - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=300612\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Science of Achieving Your Potential - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you have a growth mindset? Do you even know what a growth mindset is? Maybe you do. But until recently, I didn\u2019t. 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