{"id":298466,"date":"2025-06-17T05:55:20","date_gmt":"2025-06-17T05:55:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/uncategorized\/is-your-kids-baffling-behavior-rooted-in-trauma\/"},"modified":"2025-06-17T05:55:20","modified_gmt":"2025-06-17T05:55:20","slug":"is-your-kids-baffling-behavior-rooted-in-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=298466","title":{"rendered":"Is Your Kid\u2019s Baffling Behavior Rooted in Trauma?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Inside: This week, Robyn Gobbel, MSW, dives into the challenges of parenting kids with baffling behaviors, the impact of trauma on both children and their parents, and her neuroscience-backed strategies to help navigate this complex journey.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Understanding Trauma Behind Your Kid\u2019s Baffling Behavior w\/ Robyn Gobbel | #34\" width=\"840\" height=\"473\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CJzgPmEamIk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-top: 3px; margin-left: 11px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 10px; color: gray;\">Powered by <a class=\"redcircle-link\" href=\"https:\/\/redcircle.com?utm_source=rc_embedded_player&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;utm_campaign=embedded_v1\">RedCircle<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Picture this: your child, out of the blue, decides to cut their hair right down to the scalp.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You ask, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cDid you give yourself a haircut?\u201d<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and they innocently reply, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNo, it just fell off.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is just a glimpse into the world of parenting <\/span><b>children with baffling behaviors<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If this rings a bell, you\u2019re certainly not alone \u2013 many of us have our own collection of such stories.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But challenging behaviors are not just these baseless fibs (which could be hilarious). The real challenge comes with the behaviors that leave us utterly perplexed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like when your child <\/span><b>suddenly kicks out of nowhere<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or when <\/span><b>nothing seems to work for them<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Or when <\/span><b>their emotions switch<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> from \u201cI want nothing to do with you!\u201d to \u201cI need you, I need you, I need you,\u201d all within 60 seconds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are the moments (stretching into hours) when<\/span><b> we feel utterly helpless<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, unsure of why this is happening and how to respond. This often leads us to feelings of <\/span><b>guilt<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, a sense of <\/span><b>failure<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><b>isolation<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><b>frustration<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and sometimes, even <\/span><b>resentment towards our own child<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sounds familiar?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/calmthechaospodcast.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this week\u2019s episode<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is designed for you and the countless parents experiencing similar challenges. My special guest this week is <\/span><b>Robyn Gobbel, MSW<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, who dives into:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>the challenges of parenting kids with baffling behaviors <\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>the impact of trauma on both children and their parents <\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>her neuroscience-backed strategies to help navigate this complex journey<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You really don\u2019t want to miss this one!<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who is Robyn Gobbel<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn used to work as a licensed social worker in Texas and Michigan.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, she focuses on teaching, writing, providing education, and creating communities for the kids and families impacted by complex trauma, nervous system vulnerabilities, and big, baffling behaviors.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn is also the <\/span><b>host of The Baffling Behavior Show<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> podcast and the <\/span><b>author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In her book, she decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors, which will help you to become an expert in your child\u2019s behavior. She also shares simple ways to help you regulate and connect with your child, with brain-, body- and sensory-based strategies to overcome day-to-day challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a nutshell, her mission is to teach people to use neuroscience in order to connect with others. (For more information about Robyn and her amazing work, visit her website \u2013 the link is at the end of this blog post).<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Are Big Baffling Behaviors?<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let\u2019s get back to the kids with baffling behaviors\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As I said in the introduction, these behaviors can leave parents dumbfounded. Consider, for example, a child who is brushing their teeth and then is suddenly shoved off a stool by a sibling for no apparent reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These behaviors are the parenting puzzles that <\/span><b>seem to defy logic<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They range from humorous fibs, like a child denying eating a cupcake despite having blue frosting all over their face, to more concerning actions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In these situations (especially when they are dangerous), all parents find themselves in a mix of confusion and frustration, trying to make sense of actions that, on the surface, seem to have no rhyme or reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But Robyn explains that these behaviors <\/span><b>often stem from deeper issues<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They are not manifestations of a <\/span><b>child being mean<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><b>trying to manipulate<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> parents or siblings. Also, these behaviors do not indicate that the child is \u2018broken\u2019 or that their parent is a failure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They could be a child\u2019s way of dealing with <\/span><b>feelings they can\u2019t express<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or a response to a <\/span><b>situation they don\u2019t know how to handle<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Understanding this can help us approach these situations with more empathy and less frustration.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(These are exactly the same things we teach in \u2018The Calm the Chaos\u2019 \u2013 no wonder I really believe that Robyn and I are like peanut butter and jelly. So, grab your copy of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/calmthechaosbook.com\/get-the-book\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the Calm the Chaos book<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for more science-based insights.)<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two Types of Attachment Trauma<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A key factor behind many baffling behaviors is <\/span><b>attachment trauma<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Robyn identifies<\/span><b> two types<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Direct Neglect or Abuse<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first stems from <\/span><b>direct neglect or abuse<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. These kids often face situations where their basic needs, like food and safe housing, are not met. Their parents might be grappling with serious problems like substance abuse or mental illness, leaving the children in a vulnerable and dangerous position.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kids are naturally wired to seek comfort from their caregivers, but when these caregivers are the source of their distress, it creates a deep conflict. This leaves their young minds confused as they are torn between seeking safety from and avoiding the very people meant to protect them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This category of attachment trauma is not too hard to articulate or see. However, <\/span><b>the second type is subtler and often goes unnoticed<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mismatch Between Child Needs &amp; Caregiver Abilities<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, kids are just tougher to understand and care for. They might have sensitive nervous systems or medical issues that need extra attention. This can leave them feeling vulnerable, needing more comfort and support than usual.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, their caregivers, despite doing their best, might find it hard to provide the kind of support they need.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recognizing you and your super kid here? I know I am. That\u2019s why I want to highlight here a crucial fact that Robyn emphasizes:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>It\u2019s not anyone\u2019s fault! It\u2019s just that sometimes, the child\u2019s needs and the caregiver\u2019s abilities don\u2019t perfectly align.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn explains that this mismatch, even with good intentions from both sides, can lead to what we call attachment trauma in children. They feel something is wrong but can\u2019t quite understand why they\u2019re not getting the comfort they need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, a child might need quiet comfort, but if their environment is consistently loud or overwhelming. It can lead to confusing behaviors as a form of communication or coping.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding this can shed light on why a child might react in seemingly inexplicable ways. It\u2019s about <\/span><b>seeing the world through their eyes, recognizing the underlying needs behind their actions, and adapting our approach to meet those needs.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(To learn more about understanding children\u2019s emotions and behaviors, watch <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/CJzgPmEamIk\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the full interview with Robyn on YouTube<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/CJzgPmEamIk\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62285\" src=\"https:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/CTCP034_email.png\" alt=\"Baffling Behavior, Dayna Abraham, Calm the Chaos\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/CTCP034_email.png 1920w, https:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/CTCP034_email-1536x864.png 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 650px) 100vw, 650px\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two Paths Out of the Struggle<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although parenting kids with baffling behaviors can sometimes feel like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces, Robyn gives two key paths to help make sense of this puzzle.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first is understanding the root causes behind kids\u2019 behavior. Robyn emphasizes the importance of<\/span><b> looking beyond the surface<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s like playing detective in your own home, figuring out the \u2018whys\u2019 behind the \u2018whats.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, the reasons are so simple, like hydration. It sounds almost too basic, right? But think about it \u2013 how often do we, as adults, get cranky when we\u2019re thirsty or hungry? For kids, these basic needs can massively impact their behavior.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it\u2019s not just them struggling \u2013 parents feel it, too. Remember, <\/span><b>to help your child feel safe and secure, you need to feel that way first<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just as kids act out when they\u2019re not feeling connected or safe, you might find your own balance shaken. Recognizing this is a big step. When you understand your own feelings and needs, you become better equipped to support your child.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This leads us to the second path, which involves <\/span><b>adapting your parenting strategies<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s not about sticking to a one-size-fits-all approach but <\/span><b>finding what resonates with your child<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This might mean <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">changing the way you communicate<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">introducing new routines<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or even <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">rethinking your approach to discipline<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s like being a tailor, customizing your parenting style to fit the unique needs and temperament of your child.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn\u2019s Piece of Advice for Struggling Parents<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel guilty or not enough on this parenting journey (as we all sometimes do), acknowledge these feelings but don\u2019t let them consume you. As Robyn says, it\u2019s important to recognize that these challenges don\u2019t define your parenting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking control of this situation involves educating yourself, seeking support, and realizing that perfection is not the goal. It\u2019s about being present, understanding, and responsive to your child\u2019s needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn\u2019s key piece of advice for all struggling parents is something I\u2019ve been repeating almost on a daily basis in my social media posts. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s <\/span><b>nothing inherently wrong with your child<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> because <\/span><b>all behavior makes sense in its context<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By adopting this perspective, you\u2019re not just addressing the behavior; you\u2019re nurturing a deeper relationship with your child. You\u2019re acknowledging their struggles, validating their feelings, and showing them unconditional love and support.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember, there is no quick fix for baffling behaviors. It\u2019s a journey of deep empathy and patience. It\u2019s about building a bridge of understanding and connection with your child, where each step leads to a calmer and more supportive family life. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And most importantly:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ve got this!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dayna<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 \u2013 \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\ud83c\udfa7<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/calmthechaospodcast.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Follow us on your favorite platform<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> so you never miss an episode!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 \u2013 \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Check out <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/robyngobbel.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robyn\u2019s website<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 \u2013 \u2013 <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Order your copy of<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/calmthechaosbook.com\/get-the-book\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Calm The Chaos Book<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Hear the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/calmthechaosworkshop.com\/stories\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Success Stories<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Check out<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> my website<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Check out my<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@CalmTheChaosParenting\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> YouTube channel<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connect with me on social media:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\ud83d\udd39 <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@daynadabraham\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">TikTok<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\ud83d\udd39<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/calmthechaosparenting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Instagram<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\ud83d\udd39 <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/calmthechaosparenting\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"cp-load-after-post\"\/><\/p><\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><script async src=\"\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: This week, Robyn Gobbel, MSW, dives into the challenges of parenting kids with baffling behaviors, the impact of trauma on both children and their parents, and her neuroscience-backed strategies to help navigate this complex journey. \ufeff\ufeff Powered by RedCircle Picture this: your child, out of the blue, decides to cut their hair right down [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":298467,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[128638,11932,107718,12386],"tags":[130469,14246,351,4985,4677,130468,41123,19585],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-298466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ocd","category-parenting","category-parenting-tips","category-podcast","tag-baffling","tag-behavior","tag-kids","tag-ocd","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-tips","tag-rooted","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Your Kid\u2019s Baffling Behavior Rooted in Trauma? 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