\n<\/p>\n
Not long ago, while half-assing an attempt to Marie Kondo my closet, I found an old shoebox that led me to re-discover a photo of my 13-year-old self.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I promptly took a photo of that photo and emailed it to my mother.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Unsurprisingly, my mother said that I looked absolutely adorable. But for me, the photo induced a subtle urge to vomit. Maybe it was because of the curtain hairstyle, or the argyle sweater vest, or the mouth full of orthodontic hardware. (Or the unfortunate combination of all three). <\/p>\n
Or maybe it was because the photo was taken at my Bar Mitzvah party, and that was the day I was supposed to become a man\u2026or something.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It\u2019s astonishing how much we change; and yet, how little we change. And to think that any of us become men (or women) at the age of the 13 is patently ridiculous.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The female brain doesn\u2019t fully develop until the age of 21. The male brain doesn\u2019t until the age of 25. And personally, I don\u2019t think I started to become a man \u2013 or the man I want to be \u2013 until the age of 35.<\/p>\n
I doubt I\u2019ll ever again look at that photo of my 13-year-old self (at least not purposely). But there are some things I wish I could go back and tell him:\u00a0<\/p>\n
1. Let your parents know you love them, every day. Even on days when you don\u2019t necessarily like them. Because the truth is, you don\u2019t know how many days you have left with them. The next time you see one of them could also be the last. The same applies to everyone else who\u2019s important to you.\u00a0<\/p>\n
2. You know that girl you\u2019ve been crushing on? Well, you\u2019re going to feel this way about a lot of girls over the coming years. You may not understand this now, but always remember: She\u2019s just a girl. She has flaws and imperfections and insecurities just like everyone else. She\u2019s not to be worshipped. And she\u2019s not going to solve any of your problems. Oh, by the way, having a crush is a colossal waste of time. Be bold. Put yourself out there. Do something that will lead to either a connection or a rejection. Then, you can move forward. Sitting around and thinking about her is just keeping you stuck.\u00a0<\/p>\n
3. A whole lot of people are going to tell you to take a certain path in life. You are going to hear a lot about finding a nice, corporate job, getting married, and having kids. But you don\u2019t have to do any of that if you don\u2019t want to. Carve your own path. Do what feels right to you, and don\u2019t feel bad about it. Humans tend to have a weird quirk: They want you to make the same decisions they did, even if those decisions didn\u2019t work out for them or make them happy.\u00a0<\/p>\n
4. Yes, George Carlin is right. About pretty much everything.\u00a0<\/p>\n
5. Spend more time doing the things you love. Foremost, because you love them. But also because they will become valuable skills that may lead to great success.\u00a0<\/p>\n
6. Find a mentor as soon as possible.<\/p>\n
7. Don\u2019t try to find happiness. It\u2019s an exercise in futility. Happiness is an abstract concept that nobody can explain, define, or describe. Instead, get rid of anything or anyone making you unhappy. And take action steps toward creating the life that you want for yourself. When you do, you won\u2019t need to find happiness. Eventually, happiness will find you.\u00a0<\/p>\n
8. Don\u2019t be a Democrat or a Republican. Be an Independent. More importantly, be an independent thinker. If there\u2019s an issue you truly care about, do your own research and draw your own conclusions.\u00a0<\/p>\n
9. Don\u2019t let anyone treat you badly. Ever.\u00a0<\/p>\n
10. Don\u2019t try a cigarette. Seriously. Just don\u2019t. Not even once.\u00a0<\/p>\n
11. If you\u2019re going to spend such an embarrassing amount of time looking in the mirror, repeat the words \u201cI love myself\u201d while you do it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
12. If someone has a bigger house than you, it doesn\u2019t mean they are happier. In fact, if someone has a bigger house than you, there is a good chance it means they just have more space in which to feel gloomy.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
13. Not long from now, you\u2019re going to be at summer camp and you\u2019re going to stumble across your bunkmate peacefully sitting alone in the woods. When you ask him what he\u2019s doing, he\u2019s going to tell you that he\u2019s meditating. Instead of calling him a weirdo, ask him to teach you his ways.\u00a0<\/p>\n
14. In about 10 years, you\u2019re going to be introduced to something called Social Media. You\u2019d be wise to limit the time you spend on it. Or just stay away from it altogether.\u00a0<\/p>\n
15. It\u2019s okay if there are days when you have nothing to do. And it\u2019s okay if there are days when you choose to do nothing. But it\u2019s not okay to complain that you\u2019re bored. You live in an indescribably big world with an infinite number of things to do. When you complain that you\u2019re bored, you\u2019re not actually bored. You\u2019re just an asshole.\u00a0<\/p>\n
16. When someone tells you they\u2019re honest, don\u2019t believe them. Honest people don\u2019t need to tell you they\u2019re honest. They simply speak the truth and then act in congruence with what they\u2019ve said.\u00a0<\/p>\n
17. When you read a self-help book that resonates with you, make the effort to apply what you\u2019ve read to your life. Otherwise, it\u2019s just mental masturbation.\u00a0<\/p>\n
18. Speaking of masturbation, there\u2019s nothing wrong with it (unless you do it compulsively as part of an addiction). And there\u2019s nothing wrong with sex, either. American culture is oddly schizophrenic about sex. It uses sex to sell literally everything and then tells us we\u2019re bad for wanting it. But you\u2019re not bad for wanting sex. You\u2019re not bad for thinking about sex. And you won\u2019t be bad for having sex. Sex is normal and healthy. We\u2019re all sexual beings. Men like sex and women like sex. So, embrace your sexuality. Let your freak flag fly, or whatever.\u00a0<\/p>\n
19. If you do something nice for someone, do it out of the goodness of your heart. Don\u2019t expect anything in return. If you do expect something in return, make your expectations known.\u00a0<\/p>\n
20. You don\u2019t always have to be the funniest person in the room. But you should still open your mouth and attempt to be.\u00a0<\/p>\n
21. If someone pays you a compliment, assume they mean it and just say Thank You. That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n
22. Don\u2019t be so quick to judge. Someone you assume to be pleasant could turn out to be an all-star jackass. And someone you assume to be off-putting could turn into one of your best friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n
23. Even if it\u2019s scary, even if it\u2019s unsettling, even if you have to change course along the way, start your own business as soon as possible. Sitting mindlessly in an office cubicle and building someone else\u2019s dream will prove to be a significant waste of your time and talent. In fact, it will eat away at your soul.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
24. Celebrate your friends\u2019 successes. Jealously will destroy you (and your friendships). Besides, what one man can do, another can do.\u00a0<\/p>\n
25. Learn all the stereotypical man-stuff, like how to change a tire or start the grill. You\u2019ll save yourself a lot of humiliation down the road.<\/p>\n
26. You can say NO.<\/p>\n
27. Laugh your ass off. A lot.\u00a0<\/p>\n
28. You will come across a lot of platitudes about comfort zones. (Great things never came from comfort zones!) <\/em>Yes, they are annoying. And yes, they are cheesy as hell. But they are also true. If you never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you\u2019ll never grow.\u00a0<\/p>\n 29. Make journaling a daily habit.\u00a0<\/p>\n 30. Read more books.\u00a0<\/p>\n 31. Take more walks.\u00a0<\/p>\n 32. Never lose your child-like sense of wonder. Each day can be an adventure if you want it to be.\u00a0<\/p>\n 33. Don\u2019t eat so much goddamn bread.\u00a0<\/p>\n Oh, and one more thing, I guess. If many years from now you find an old shoebox in the back of your closet, don\u2019t be afraid to open it up and look inside. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n