Those who aren\u2019t \u201cpet people\u201d often wonder how the passing of a dog can cause such heartache. Yet even Rudyard Kipling (famed author of The Jungle Book)<\/em> wrote, \u201cBrothers and sisters, I bid you beware of giving your heart to a dog to tear\u2026\u201d If you love and lose someone \u2013 canine or otherwise \u2013 of course there will be sadness.<\/p>\n Google is frequently asked the question, \u201cHow do you grieve for a lost dog?\u201d by people seeking guidance through the mourning process. Truth is, no one can give an exact blueprint for grieving. They can only share how they grieved, but that in itself can be a comfort.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s why I asked Natasha if I could repost what she wrote about beautiful, happy Xena.<\/p>\n Eulogizing dogs as beloved family members is not a new thing. The ancient Greeks and Romans did it too.<\/a> Many much-loved canine companions (sometimes called \u201cfoster children\u201d) had epitaphs written on tombstones and memorials, like this one: \u201cTo Helena, foster child, soul without comparison and deserving of praise.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n So here is Xena\u2019s memorial, for other people to know and remember her, too. \u2013 Emily Sowulewski<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Natasha Yeh is Xena\u2019s proud mom. She is a NCSU small animal emergency and critical care resident, dancer at heart, and dabbler with words. She hopes you find joy in learning about Xena and her quirks. This tribute exemplifies that grief is often a reflection of impactful, deep love.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n It starts with the end of Mocha\u2019s. I never wanted Xena to fill empty shoes, and she never wanted to either. She was well-traveled. She\u2019s been coast to coast twice, explored New England, and lived on the Pacific Northwest beach. \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n She is sweet and dainty. It is easy to tell when she is happy. She\u2019ll respond to high-pitched praises of being a \u201csuper girl.\u201d She likes to people-watch and will find the nearest window to rest her head on a cushion. \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I assumed there was trauma and neglect. What do you call the thing that resurrects your soul out of ashes? I hope you knew you were the star of my life and are loved from your core to the fibers of your being. \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Photos courtesy of Natasha Yeh \u2013 Instagram @mocha_thebear<\/a> \u2013 unless otherwise specified.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \n<\/div>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/colliechatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Natasha_Xena_TOS-websize-11182-01-e1687622590468.jpeg\")
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I want to tell you Xena\u2019s story.<\/h3>\n
She came into my life five months after Mocha passed, at a time when I very much still ached quietly.
I felt the edges of emptiness that Mocha had left behind.
He was my heart dog, my living breath.
How do you fill such a cavern? That seemed unfair.
Well, the answer is \u2013 you don\u2019t.
Instead, you GI obstruct within three months of adoption and require surgery (true story).<\/p>\n
She built her own world with me:
A world where she owned my bed and the couch,
A world where she used pillows like people do,
A world where she supported me in having three fosters.<\/p>\n
She watched me pass vet school and graduate.
Then she watched me drown in internship, but kept me afloat.
Then she watched me start residency.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/colliechatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/overview_image_171339328_3601226-e1687637171976.jpg\")
<\/p>\nXena and I aren\u2019t the same.<\/h3>\n
She has pigtails, tiny, folded ears, and little Grinch feets.
She\u2019s missing her two front teeth but always asks politely.
She is a princess, and I am her armor.<\/p>\n
Then she\u2019ll do a classic collie head tilt and deep yoga bow.
When she\u2019s really excited, she\u2019ll bark and grab a toy.
When she\u2019s really relaxed, she\u2019ll sleep on her back with her four legs in the air.
When she\u2019s on trail, she\u2019ll trot up to me with her little ears taking off like helicopter wings. I always ask if she\u2019s going to fly away.<\/p>\n
She has a best friend; her name is Sahara.
Perhaps Xena is the best representation of something that has taken me 29 years to learn \u2013 that softness is strength.
The ability to stay true to your awkward quirks and tell the world, This is me. I will keep on being exactly this.<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/colliechatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/image_16-e1687638409527.jpg\")
<\/p>\nI never ask her about her life before me.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
What matters is the life we built now. How we love and support each other through depression, stress, grief.
See, my life is chaotic. I am constantly running into the fire, and therefore, am often drained.
Xena is a cup of tea. My quiet moment. My rejuvenating peace.
She never demands, but her joy makes you want to give.
She says, Slow down. The sun is out. Let\u2019s sunbathe.<\/em>
Or she says,\u00a0What is cancer? I\u2019ll hike 16 miles with you and then puzzle for 24 hours.<\/em>
Or she says, Your food looks better than mine; sharing is caring, didn\u2019t you know? <\/em>
We moved so much, I don\u2019t really know if I could identify any location as our home.
But I think she knew that home was wherever we were together. And that means more to me than anything.<\/p>\n
The thing at the end of a long day that says, Come as you are, you are loved. <\/em>
The thing that reminds you that broken isn\u2019t bad: you are always enough.
I call her Xena. Warrior princess.
Our love is different, so perhaps you feel that you don\u2019t really know her. It is steady, quiet.
It is foundational. It made me brave moving to new cities and accepting new jobs.<\/p>\n
I hope at the end I showed as much selflessness and love as you did for me all this time.
I told you, \u201cIt is you and me until the end.\u201d
I hope you know I would\u2019ve done it all to give us more time.
I feel as though I scoured the earth to give us more seconds, pulled at every strand that could be a lead. I really, really tried.
You are the most important. My shadow for four years. I love you, Bubs. I was a better person with you in my corner.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/colliechatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/image13-01-03-e1687638093622.jpeg\")
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