{"id":28484,"date":"2025-01-15T11:05:12","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T11:05:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/apprentice\/another-year-older-another-year-closer-to-death-the-undertakers-apprentice\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T11:05:12","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T11:05:12","slug":"another-year-older-another-year-closer-to-death-the-undertakers-apprentice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484","title":{"rendered":"Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death \u2013 The Undertakers Apprentice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>We have all heard this at some point in our lives. I remember being in middle school the first time someone (an adult) used this phrase for my birthday. I was like \u201cDamn! Settle down Karen, I\u2019m only 13.\u201d One does not just tell a thirteen year old they are heading straight for the eternal sleep\u2026 at least that is what I thought.<\/p>\n<p>In hindsight, this phrase is pretty spot-on. Duh. By this point we all know we are going to die. I mean sure, on my birthday I am technically only one day older, but it is still one day closer to the end. In fact, every second that ticks brings our visit from the grim reaper ever closer. [Side note: Do you think there is a Cheerful Reaper? Just shows up like \u201cGet in loser we are going on a trip to happy town. [Side note within side note: Basically an acid trip or just some really big life event that isn\u2019t depressing, such as Netflix adding a new season of a show for your lazy butt to binge in 8 hours (looking at you Black Mirror).]]\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"360\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/2018\/01\/06\/another-year-older-another-year-closer-to-death\/grim-bday\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"2110,3000\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"grim bday\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=211\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=720\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-360\" src=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=840\" alt=\"grim bday.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg 2110w, https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=106&amp;h=150 106w, https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=211&amp;h=300 211w, https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=768&amp;h=1092 768w, https:\/\/theundertakersapprenticeblog.wordpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/grim-bday.jpg?w=720&amp;h=1024 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 709px) 85vw, (max-width: 909px) 67vw, (max-width: 1362px) 62vw, 840px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>So if you haven\u2019t figured it out by now, it is my birthday. My presence has been a part of this glorious terrestrial planet for 26 years. You\u2019re welcome. My new mission in life is simple: eat, sleep, and breath death (funny because without any of these things you would, in fact, die). I know I have had a little hiatus from writing this blog for you wonderful people, but I am back and I want nothing more than you to be able to read, learn, laugh, and grow from this blog. So for my birthday, please write to me about anything death related you may be interested in. And I mean anything! Want to know about a certain corpse or more about death practices? Want to know the ins and outs of my mortuary school? Curious about your own fate? Intrigued by what I fear most or how a mortuary student decorates their house? It\u2019s all fair game. Do not be afraid to start a conversation with me. Please share this blog anywhere you can with the ones you love. Don\u2019t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter.<\/p>\n<p>As always, stay intrigued by death, my friends.<\/p>\n<p>Happy Birthday to me. Here is my favorite little birthday ditty:<\/p>\n<p><em>Happy birthday <thud> Happy birthday <thud\/><\/thud><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Doom and gloom and black despair<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>People dying everywhere<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Happy birthday <thud> Happy birthday <thud\/><\/thud><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Now you\u2019ve aged another year<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>And Your death is drawing near<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Happy birthday <thud> Happy birthday <thud\/><\/thud><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>May the cities in your wake<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Burn like candles on your cake<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Happy birthday <thud> Happy birthday <thud\/><\/thud><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Huzzah!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>TC \u2013 Death Writer<\/p>\n<p><span id=\"wordads-inline-marker\" style=\"display: none;\"\/>\t\t\t<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script>(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;appId=249643311490&version=v2.3\"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We have all heard this at some point in our lives. I remember being in middle school the first time someone (an adult) used this phrase for my birthday. I was like \u201cDamn! Settle down Karen, I\u2019m only 13.\u201d One does not just tell a thirteen year old they are heading straight for the eternal [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28485,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12039],"tags":[2755,8242,4121,2299,13684,629],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-28484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-apprentice","tag-apprentice","tag-closer","tag-death","tag-older","tag-undertakers","tag-year"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death \u2013 The Undertakers Apprentice - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death \u2013 The Undertakers Apprentice - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We have all heard this at some point in our lives. I remember being in middle school the first time someone (an adult) used this phrase for my birthday. I was like \u201cDamn! Settle down Karen, I\u2019m only 13.\u201d One does not just tell a thirteen year old they are heading straight for the eternal [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-01-15T11:05:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/grim-bday-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1801\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b85e3c3dc0e1daea076524dc8810c371\"},\"headline\":\"Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death \u2013 The Undertakers Apprentice\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-01-15T11:05:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\"},\"wordCount\":467,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/grim-bday-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"APPRENTICE\",\"Closer\",\"Death\",\"Older\",\"Undertakers\",\"Year\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Apprentice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=28484\",\"name\":\"Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death \u2013 The Undertakers Apprentice - 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