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Transcript<\/p>\n
Hey friends. So this episode, I\u2019m going to share all about my cancer journey,<\/p>\n
0:10 how I got diagnosed, what happened and what was going on in my life at the time. So rewind to the end of 2023<\/p>\n
0:19 and I just wrapped up two of my group programs, the yoga alchemy program, which is like a seven month group coaching program that I\u2019ve been running for a number of years, and it\u2019s really quite successful, and I love doing it.<\/p>\n
And 0:37 I just wrapped that up. It was towards the end of 2023 and I was thinking about 2024, and, you know, starting to plan for the launch of the next round of the program. Just had this feeling in my gut, this sort of intuition of, ah, just delay it for a little bit. You don\u2019t have to start it at the beginning of the year. Just had a feeling that something, something was up, and I listened to that intuitive nudge, and I didn\u2019t schedule that course for when I normally begin it in February. And so the new year rolls around, 2024\u00a0 and\u00a0 I remember like nothing major, but we got a number of sicknesses, like my daughter had just started going to day care two days a week. And at the beginning of that year, we\u2019re just like, successively sick with RSV and all of those nice illnesses. And it was just back to back to back. And then I think it was in March. We went on a long overdue holiday, and again, I had this feeling like, Oh, something big is going to happen. Something big is going to happen, and to just keep some space in my life and keep some space in my calendar. So I like delayed enrolling people in that program again, and lots of people were asking me, we had over 100 people on the wait list, it would have been really, really easy to, like, sell out another course, really quickly. But I just have this gut feeling of, no, you need space. You need space. Something\u2019s big is coming, and I was hoping it was going to be something positive.<\/p>\n
And so after that little holiday, which I think was at the beginning of, beginning of April, I then had, like, a routine MRI that I get done every year. I wasn\u2019t anxious about it. I wasn\u2019t worried about it. It was just like a thing that you do, like you go get your car serviced. That\u2019s how I sort of get serviced, right?<\/p>\n
And\u00a0 about a day afterwards, I get a text from Queensland X ray saying\u00a0 your images are available online in the portal. And I thought, Oh, I\u2019ve never had that before. And so I jump online and I go and have a look at the images. And the images that they had of my breast, they had all these circles and arrows on it and measurements and , handwritten stuff on the scan. I thought, oh, that seems a little bit strange to have these areas measured and circled and arrows pointing to. I wonder if my previous scans look like that. And so, you know, my whole history is on this portal. And I started looking back at previous scans, and none of them had these markings on it. And I thought, Oh, this is not good. So I called my doctor, and he was overseas travelling, and they said, Look, he\u2019ll give you a call as soon as he can. And it was, a full 30 hours later, or something like that, that I got the call from the doctor saying, Yeah, look, they found a lesion on the on the scan. It looks like nothing to me, but probably best to get it biopsied. Okay, let\u2019s get it biopsied, because I had a suspicion after seeing those drawings on my scan.<\/p>\n
And\u00a0 one of the things about diagnostics with breast cancer is that\u00a0 for younger women, women who are haven\u2019t gone through menopause yet, their breasts are a lot denser than post menopausal women, and sometimes the lesions don\u2019t show up in mammograms or ultrasounds, which was the case for me, and I\u2019ll explain a little bit later why that is so. It was detected in an MRI, and I wanted to get an MRI guided biopsy, but that\u2019s a really expensive and complicated procedure, and I had to go and have a ultrasound biopsy first. And I\u2019d had previous history of this whereby I go in for the ultrasound biopsy, they can\u2019t find anything under ultrasound, and it\u2019s like $700 later, and you still don\u2019t have a result. So I said to the doctor, look, this has happened before. Can\u2019t we just go straight into MRI biopsy? He said, No, you can\u2019t. You have to go through this. So I booked in for an ultrasound guided biopsy that took\u00a0 10 days to get in or something like that. Of course, they couldn\u2019t find anything. Had to go back to the doctor to get a referral for an MRI guideda biopsy.<\/p>\n
So I was a bit annoyed already, because I\u2019d been through this before. It happened to me before, where they couldn\u2019t detect it on an ultrasound, and so the doctor wrote me up the referral for the MRI biopsy. I rang up and I can\u2019t get an appointment. There\u2019s only two people in Brisbane who can do that procedure. One of them\u2019s away on holidays at the moment, and I just had to wait and wait and wait.<\/p>\n
It was actually five weeks\u00a0 before I could get that biopsy done and get the result that was, yes, it\u2019s cancer, and that five weeks was absolutely excruciating waiting to find out, do i don\u2019t i What\u2019s going to happen from here?<\/p>\n
And this was the third time that I\u2019ve been diagnosed with breast cancer. I first had it in 2015 and then I had it again at the end of 2017\u00a0 and\u00a0 like I knew the process. I knew sort of what happens. But in both those instances, it happened really, really quickly. I was, you know, had a had an abnormal scan, had the biopsy, straight away, and then pretty much the next day, was booked in for surgery. This was really, really slow and drawn out, and quite frankly, it really did my head in just that waiting, that uncertainty, that not knowing and kind of expecting the worst, but not knowing really, really did a number on me.<\/p>\n
For the first time in my life, I was really anxious. I\u2019m not really an anxious person, but this, you know, really, really peaked, and I was in full Fight, fight or flight mode. I just did anything to keep busy,\u00a0 like cleaning, cooking, ironing, all these things that I don\u2019t do normally. I hate those things, but just anything to keep busy, lots and lots of exercise, just anything to take my mind off the discomfort. And because I was in that sort of more flight response of wanting to run away and escape, I found being physically active really, really helpful to discharge some of that nervous energy.<\/p>\n
So once I got the confirmation that, yeah, it was, it was cancer. I was booked in for surgery, maybe, like a week later, or something like that. Now, because this was a recurrence, it wasn\u2019t a new cancer. It was a returning cancer.\u00a0 I kind of knew that a mastectomy was on the cards, but I wasn\u2019t really ready for it at the time.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s obviously a really big deal, mentally, emotionally, I wasn\u2019t ready for it, and I didn\u2019t really have the support structures in place in my life and my business for me to sort of do that just then. So we agreed with the surgeon just to remove the lump, just get rid of the cancer for now, and we\u2019ll deal with the mastectomy a little bit later. So I had the lumpectomy that was beginning of June, and I said to the doctor, look, make sure you take more than you need. I don\u2019t want to have to go back and do another excision because the margins weren\u2019t clear.<\/p>\n
Lo and behold, the pathology comes back. The margins weren\u2019t clear. I needed to have another surgery to remove it all. And so I had surgery, maybe it was 10 days later, or something like that, to remove the lump, and got clear margins. Then it was just, you know, recovery. And then he referred me on to another surgeon because he was retiring, and also a plastic surgeon to talk about having the mastectomy and a reconstruction.<\/p>\n
And so about a month later, I met with a new breast surgeon, and she was really lovely, and she sat down and looked me in the eye and said, you need to prepare yourself for having your body parts amputated. And that was when I really just lost it. I really started bawling, and she\u2019s like, this is a big deal. Think of it as if your life\u2019s going to be on hold for two years. That\u2019s how long it\u2019s going to take to recover. Cancer\u2019s got a really, really long tail, and I\u2019m just being upfront with you. So that was pretty shocking, and the type of surgery, or the type of mastectomy that she was recommending was different to what the other surgeon had said. So I was a little bit disappointed that I couldn\u2019t\u00a0 save a bit more of my breasts than I wanted to. So that was kind of a bit of a shock. And then she also said that the reconstruction would be different from what I was expecting, just because\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have enough belly fat to take from there, basically. So that was really, really shocking. And I said, Look, I need, I need some time to come to terms with this and to and to make sure I\u2019ve got support, because my partner works away, and, you know, we\u2019ve only got my mum, we don\u2019t have any other grandparents to help out and all that kind of stuff.<\/p>\n
Then I went and saw the plastic surgeon about reconstruction, and because I\u2019d already had so much radiation from previous cancers. Implants weren\u2019t possible for me, not that I wanted them anyway, because they require maintenance. It\u2019s not a set and forget thing. It\u2019s kind of something you always have to monitor.<\/p>\n
So we talked about using my body tissue to reconstruct the breast. It\u2019s called an autologous breast reconstruction, and we\u2019re going to take the tissue from my thighs. So we talked all through that process and the recovery and all of that, and then I had time to just go home and think and sort of plan it out. And so<\/p>\n
we decided that November would be a much better time to do this, rather than in June, because of getting the support in place, and I needed to get a lot of things organized, so I had time then to come to terms with what was going to happen. And again, in hindsight, I kind of wish I got it over and done with in June, because that wait from June till November was excruciating.\u00a0 Just you know, even though I knew what was going to happen, there was so much fear associated with it, and fear of what if it goes wrong, and how painful and how long the recovery is going to be. I think, in hindsight, I could have just ripped the band-aid off and done it much, much faster, but that\u2019s what I chose at the time, and so I had a lot of thinking time in those few months, and obviously, I am still recovering from the previous surgeries.<\/p>\n
So this was actually the third time I was diagnosed, and the first time I was diagnosed was back in 2015 and that one really came out of the blue. So I\u2019d had this, I was experiencing this sort of stinging or burning sensation in my breast whenever I put a seat belt on, or if I was lying on my belly. And at first I just sort of ignored it. It kind of felt like a bee sting. But then it was like all the time, and I thought, Oh, I better go and get this checked out. So I went to the GP and said, Look, this is happening, and I\u2019ve got this family history of breast cancer as well. My mum had breast cancer. Her sister had breast cancer. My dad, at the time, had cancer, and\u00a0 he was like, Yep, let\u2019s get it. Let\u2019s get it checked out. Let\u2019s go get you have a mammogram. So I had a mammogram, and they had a look at it, and they said, Oh, look, there\u2019s these dense areas, there\u2019s these lesions. We wouldn\u2019t mind biopsying them to just to rule things out. So I booked in for a biopsy in a mammogram machine, which is really, really uncomfortable and painful and they biopsied about six different areas, and the thing that was causing me pain turned out to be a benign cyst, but that actually saved my life, because there were three cancerous lesions there.<\/p>\n
And this was just such a such a shock for me. I was young, I was fit, I was healthy, I didn\u2019t feel unwell. And it was also happening at a really challenging time in my life. My dad had stage four cancer, and I was going through a divorce. So it\u2019s really, really, really stressful times. they said, Oh, look, it\u2019s microscopic; it\u2019s less than half a millimetre. It\u2019s just going to be day surgery. You won\u2019t need chemotherapy, you won\u2019t need any\u00a0 further treatment. It\u2019s just like a really simple lumpectomy. And I thought, okay, I can do that. So I went in, had the lumpectomy. It\u00a0 was really scary, because they do a procedure beforehand called a wire localization, where you\u2019re awake, you\u2019re in the mammogram machine, and they insert a wire into the area so this surgeon can detect what bit to remove because the type of cancer that I had, ductal carcinoma,\u00a0 it doesn\u2019t like it\u2019s not a different color. It\u2019s not like they open you up and it\u2019s black or green or anything. It just looks the same. So they need a way of being able to identify and they do it by sticking this wire in. It\u2019s like a coat hanger hanging out of your breast. It\u2019s really uncomfortable. Anyway, I had that surgery. Wasn\u2019t too painful, got the pathology back. Oh, we didn\u2019t get it all. We need to do more. Oh, okay, so I had another surgery, maybe, like a week or two later.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have to do that localization, wire localization procedure again, because they put a little chip in there and got the pathology from that. We didn\u2019t get it, or we didn\u2019t get clear margins. So when they remove the tissue, they need to have an area around the tissue, like the edges, that are all clear of cancer to know that they\u2019ve got it all. And I didn\u2019t have that. So, actually, I had to have a third operation to remove it all. And so what turned what started off as being microscopic day surgery, not needing any further treatment, was actually nine and a half centimetres, which is huge<\/p>\n
I had three surgeries, and then I had to have 25 rounds of radiation. Fortunately, I didn\u2019t need any chemo, because it hadn\u2019t spread to my lymph nodes. It was caught very, very early. It wasn\u2019t invasive cancer, but I still had to go through radiation, which is\u00a0 not too bad towards the end, you get very fatigued. It burns the skin, but it\u2019s just a hassle, because you have to go every single day. And that was that. That was 2015 that was sort of July, August, September, 2015 Unknown Speaker 16:00 and then I was clear for two and a bit years. In that time, my divorce was finalized, my dad died.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d actually met a new partner. We were dating, and\u00a0 as part of my sort of surveillance, I had to have annual MRIs\u00a0 and I\u2019d had an MRI\u00a0 the year before, so 2016 and they said, oh, there\u2019s a lesion in your other breast. And so I had a biopsy on that, and it turned out to be like pre-cancerous cells, not cancer, pre-cancer. So if you think you\u2019ve got normal cells and then abnormal cells, and then abnormal cells dividing is cancer. So it\u2019s like a stage kind of thing. So I had pre-cancer; it was abnormal cells or atypical ductal hyperplasia,\u00a0 and so we decided not to operate on it at the time just to monitor it.<\/p>\n
We didn\u2019t know if it\u2019s going to turn into cancer. We didn\u2019t know if it was how long it was going to take, but I had this feeling that there was something there. And so about a year later, I had another\u00a0 MRI. It looked a little bit bigger. We had a biopsy, and it was cancer. So that was at the end of 2017 and this was in the other breast to previous so I had the surgery. Then it was like the Friday before Christmas. They got clear margins, which was good, but it was big. It was over five centimeters. Can\u2019t remember. We\u2019ll have to look at the pathology, which meant that I needed radiation again. It hadn\u2019t spread to my lymph nodes, so I didn\u2019t need chemotherapy, but I needed radiation. So I did another 25 rounds of radiation on that breast, and then after that, so that wrapped up in that was the end of 2017 going into 2018\u00a0 then I had a period of seven years where I was completely clear and just, you know, got on with life.<\/p>\n
It was only recently, in April 2024, so I was just going for a routine MRI and saw a lesion and got a biopsy, and this was a recurrence. So\u00a0 the second time I got it because it was in a different breast, it was considered like a new cancer. B<\/p>\n
ut to have a recurrence after radiation and before the age of 50 is bad.\u00a0 So , I had to have a mastectomy. There really was no other option for me other than, like, just continuing to chop away at my breasts. I couldn\u2019t have any more radiation. Chemotherapy wasn\u2019t suitable for me, and so like that, that really was my only option. And because there\u2019s a lot of cancer in my family, so I don\u2019t have the BRACA gene, I got tested for that, but I declined further genetic testing because genetic discrimination is real, and I don\u2019t want my daughter or my niece to be denied life or health insurance because I\u2019ve got the gene and the chance that they have it too.<\/p>\n
So I declined further testing on the advice of the geneticist\u00a0 but we did the family tree, and like both parents, both my parents had cancer. Aunties on both side had cancer. Both grandfathers had cancer. There\u2019s a lot in there. And to be diagnosed at such a young age and to have a recurrence is not good. So, yeah, the mastectomy was the only option. And so, you know, this is not my first rodeo I\u2019ve gone through it so many times before, but it doesn\u2019t make it any easier. Just because you know what to expect doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s going to be an easier ride.<\/p>\n
And I think in some ways, it was a little bit worse because I knew what was ahead of me, so I had the Mastectomy in November 2024 and I had an immediate reconstruction using the flesh from my inner thighs. The recovery was horrendous. It was incredibly painful. I think. On the third day after the surgery, they made me get out of bed, and I had to I couldn\u2019t even stand up by myself. I had to use a walker. It was incredibly humbling that I couldn\u2019t walk by myself or stand up or shower myself or toilet myself. I was incredibly humbling.\u00a0 The pain was was next level. I was really in a lot of pain and a lot of distress, not just my breasts, but my legs as well. I\u2019ve got 15 centimeter scars that run through my inner thighs, and I couldn\u2019t stand up straight, probably for about three months because my legs were so tight, and this affected my whole posture. And then I had this ongoing issues with my neck and my spine being out of alignment, and then I had all these headaches.<\/p>\n
But now it\u2019s February 2025, I\u2019ve just had phase two of the reconstruction.\u00a0 So because they\u2019re not putting implants in, they have to go slow, to slowly build up the tissue. You can\u2019t just whack a whole bunch in there and expect it to stay. It\u2019s like a slow, graded process. So I just had phase two. There probably won\u2019t be one more phase, or maybe another one after that, and then, fingers crossed, I should be done. No more radiation, because I\u2019ve had the maximum dose. I can\u2019t have any more no chemo, because it was always caught early. It was never in my lymph nodes.<\/p>\n
So that\u2019s my story. And I think, you know, because I never lost my hair, because I was fit and active, no one realized how sick I was, and a lot of people thought, Oh, you\u2019re too young to have cancer, and it\u2019s just a real reminder that there are invisible diseases out there, and you don\u2019t have to, you know, lose your hair to be really, really unwell. And it\u2019s just a reminder that we don\u2019t know what people are dealing with in our lives.<\/p>\n
We don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on in our friend\u2019s lives, or our acquaintance\u2019s lives, or\u00a0 people we meet in the general public. And you know, that was certainly the case for me where, like, I remember the first time I was diagnosed coming home from the GPS office, where he told me, and just catching a bus home and trying not to cry on the bus on the way home, just try to hold it in. Like you just never know someone might have just gotten the worst news of their life, and they have to keep going. And that\u2019s the thing about cancer that was a really hard lesson to learn, that life doesn\u2019t stop just because you\u2019ve got cancer as much as you want it to stop. The dishes still need to be done, the bins need to be empty, the bills need to be paid, mouths need to be fed. It\u2019s just relentless, and life feels relentless when everything\u2019s falling apart and you just have to keep going. I can report that I\u2019m on the other side.<\/p>\n
Now,\u00a0 yes, it was bad, but it wasn\u2019t as bad as I thought, and I\u2019m going to be sharing a lot more of my lessons, but this session was really just to give you the sort of overall picture of my cancer journey to date and what\u2019s happened and where I\u2019ve been.<\/p>\n
So, thanks for listening.<\/p>\n
Monica x<\/p>\n
Feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Transcript Hey friends. So this episode, I\u2019m going to share all about my cancer journey, 0:10 how I got diagnosed, what happened and what was going on in my life at the time. So rewind to the end of 2023 0:19 and I just wrapped up two of my group programs, the yoga alchemy program, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100620,104267,111776,12314,96877,12324,12386,100632],"tags":[13223,14367,13211,1298,3972,1231,106706],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-282263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-breast-cancer","category-cultivate-calm","category-meditation","category-mental-health","category-mindfulness","category-podcast","category-stress","tag-breast","tag-cancer","tag-episode","tag-season","tag-story","tag-time","tag-unlucky"],"yoast_head":"\n