\u00a0I swear, I’m going to try to have something about a Barks classic soon, but I need an easy layup, and for that, we have this story, recommended (or…highlighted, anyway) by Debbie Anne on social media.\u00a0 This is from Uncle Scrooge 204, in 1983, as Western was entering its death spasms.\u00a0 But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t churn out stories like…this!\u00a0 Drawn by Jack Manning; inducks doesn’t specify, but it’s definitely written by Vic Lockman.\u00a0 THERE’S a name I haven’t heard in a long time.<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n We open in media res, as Barks did in a series of quite good stories in the mid-sixties.\u00a0 I’d say this is about as good as those, so get ready for FUN!\u00a0 I do quite enjoy “What’s with Uncle Scrooge?” It just makes me picture some dudes commenting on the scene: “hey, what’s wit dat guy? What’s ‘is deal?\u00a0 Can ‘is mattress evade ‘im, or what?\u00a0 Aw, ‘e must be screwy!”\u00a0 I don’t know what kind of accent that was supposed to be.\u00a0 And how, truly CAN his matress evade him?\u00a0 This question piques your curiosity and demands that you read on.<\/p>\n Yes, let’s.\u00a0 Ooh, computers.\u00a0 It’s kind of interesting to see these later stories grappling with the sort of computers that would directly lead to what we have today.\u00a0 Sure, older stories would feature giant mainframes, but that’s not quite the same, is it?\u00a0 Still, writers didn’t necessarily seem to have much of a grasp on what these things are good for.\u00a0 Was there any younger talent doing Disney comics at this time?\u00a0 You always see the same names.\u00a0 Was it a gerontocracy, like the Democratic party?\u00a0 Shit, I mentioned politics.\u00a0 Grrbah!<\/p>\n Books on “how to make money,” indeed.\u00a0 Hard to imagine there are too many ideas he hasn’t thought of yet.\u00a0 Also, sorry, but that’s BORING!\u00a0 “How to make money,” indeed!\u00a0 Zhuzh it up a little, eh?\u00a0 And holy crud, that is definitely the first time I’ve ever used that word.\u00a0 How do you do, fellow kids?<\/p>\n Anyway, to my disappointment, the computer doesn’t actually play any significant role in the story.\u00a0 It’s just this springboard to launch the improbable action.\u00a0 Lockman gets to gesture at a new-fangled thing without really doing anything with it.\u00a0 Unacceptable!<\/p>\n A Scroogian dilemma with precedent.\u00a0 I don’t know if it’s a compliment or criticism to say that I doubt Lockman knew any of those, though.\u00a0 Huh.<\/p>\n Yes.\u00a0 These beloved characters.\u00a0 Did you see this coming?\u00a0 Maybe!\u00a0 Why do they look like that?\u00a0 Who knows?\u00a0 They have to look like SOMETHING, don’t they?\u00a0 “Elementary elving” is one of those litle Lockmanian touches; it’s not bad, though the horrid non-euclidean geometries they employ to infiltrate out world may causes us to wake up in a cold sweat for years to come.<\/p>\n And so…<\/p>\n Lockman, you orientalist motherfucker.\u00a0 I mean that in a friendly way.\u00a0 Kind of.\u00a0 I want to mention Dorfmann and Mattelart, but this is probably more an Edward Said situation, innit?\u00a0 Also, I mentioned them in passing, which still counts!\u00a0 Ka-ching!\u00a0 But in all seriousness, this sort of “Mystical East” stuff is a bit jarring in a comic of this provenance.\u00a0 Sure, this stuff is still present to some extent, but rarely in such an unadorned fashion.\u00a0 Whatevz!<\/p>\n Okay, “the code words were changed” is kind of funny, though as is often the case, I’m not sure I’m laughing at it in a way Lockman would have intended.\u00a0 Well, never mind; death of the author and all.\u00a0 Not that it really should be “the code words had been changed,” but that would’ve overflowed the speech bubble.\u00a0 Was this intentional?\u00a0 Am I getting into conspiracy theories about old comix?\u00a0 Maybe.\u00a0 And not to spell out the obvious, but I’d love to know what administrator is in charge of password security.<\/p>\n I have my doubts that you even tried every”open”+[plant] combination, let alone every phrase known to man, but okay, we’ll let it slip.\u00a0 It’s nice that we’re getting some background detail, I guess.<\/p>\n …a slightly unnerving amount of background detail, even.\u00a0 What is a “perfectly good supersonic blast?”\u00a0 It sounds like it’s supposed to be some kind of missile.\u00a0 I think we can safely use the word “iffy” to describe Lockman’s grasp of technology.<\/p>\n Dammit.\u00a0 “The Genie.”\u00a0 Who’s the genie?\u00a0 Does Lockman think the story of Ali Baba involved a genie?\u00a0 You just make your weird assumptions, and then you stick them in your duck story.\u00a0 THAT is how we roll around here!<\/p>\n There’s just something about that “where I’m still a very rich duck!” panel–you can find similar things in other undistinguished stories.\u00a0 I can’t scientifically say how frequent it is, but you know.\u00a0 You see it around.\u00a0 Sure, Barks does similar things sometimes, but with these z-tier artists, it always, always looks like he’s desperately trying to convince himself.<\/p>\n So the idea is that his mattress is filled with money, which now magnetically repels him due to the Terrible Curse.\u00a0 Sure it’s dumb, but this low-grade slapstick is the best we can expect from this story, so do your best to enjoy it.\u00a0 I do have to note that the fact that his matress is apparently just plopped down on top of a bunch of bare springs (which look none too stable, the way he’s pawing through them) seems…bad?\u00a0 Is this how they did things back in the day?\u00a0 Manning, dude, as much as I’m not a fan, I hope they were at least paying you enough for you to have a normal bed.<\/p>\n A GREAT HORROR!\u00a0 I’ll show you great horror, mumble mumble.\u00a0 I feel like the main reason Scrooge is so off-model in that bottom panel is that Manning felt the need to squash him a bit to make him fit along with the bin and the largish text box.\u00a0 You can see Barks do that occasionally, but rarely in stories he actually wrote; the best solution is to not get into this foolishness in the first place.<\/p>\n BONK!\u00a0 It is, I suppose, sort of interesting to envision what this would actually LOOK like. Someone like Marco Rota could probably do a good approximation, though.\u00a0 Jack Manning, I dunno, man.\u00a0 I feel sort of bad constantly disparaging the art of this super-obscure (not even a wikipedia page) cartoonist from lo these many years ago.\u00a0 I hope none of his loved ones are reading this.\u00a0 But DANG, man!<\/p>\n Dangit, not your first dollar!\u00a0 Is Lockman even vaguely aware of the (admittedly loose) Uncle Scrooge continuity?\u00a0 Whatever; it’s fine.\u00a0 Do what you want.\u00a0 As I think I’ve noted previously, a lot of these lesser stories don’t even feel as though they’re about the same characters we know and love.\u00a0 Fanfiction, except that I don’t think they were really fans.\u00a0 Huh.<\/p>\n However, I do enjoy seeing it bonk Gyro in the head.\u00a0 Scrooge sticking “whereby” in there, being all fancy like it’s nothing…I seem to recall these thinking cap birds in some other Lockman thing, so there you go.\u00a0 Some might argue that saying Gyro gets his ideas from magic birds is even MORE blasphemous than attributing Scrooge’s wealth to a magic hourglass.\u00a0 I suppose the idea could be that Gyro’s still the smartest, but his genius needs some sort of catalyst.\u00a0 None of the others could do what he does, even WITH the cap.\u00a0 But what will happen when Emil Eagle tries it on?\u00a0 And how will Moby and Dimwitty react?\u00a0 Oops, I got caught up in my Lockman fanfiction again.\u00a0 What was my point?\u00a0 There is no way to know.<\/p>\n Sounds like a ransom demand to me.\u00a0 Also, Gyro glues them together the what in the form of a what?\u00a0 Of course, Barks had Gyro invent a wishing well and tangle with a witch doctor, so one can’t complain TOO hard, I guess, but as inventions go, supernatural or not, this is pretty underwhelming.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEiCy5fEgvuU_7XomEvs0O6t-naFyD8ESIwEbTRe-LV_8Tph4JwBp1io7BIWsCk1udJsRKyQLlVWb_t9uQmUG37WIKuzyxYQ6Qsy-5fYiEW1UBlsQ5dX7io3sL8laFqFLDjEE8BBejqdDsDrJBjK9aBRFyimHw5fE1Jck4BmNw-k0nVazP_4iylBSiNSjHxI\/s923\/Uncle_Scrooge_204_03.jpg\")
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