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Welcome to another Thursday UNFILTERED blog post, the only blog that is built differently than every other blog. Possibly incorrectly.<\/p>\n
\u201cGossip dies when it hits a wise person\u2019s ears. Rumors are started by haters, carried by fools, and believed by idiots.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n ~ Amit Kalantri and Ziad K. Abdelnour<\/p>\n This article was inspired by a powerful piece on The<\/em> Radical<\/em> Reformation<\/em> website that I read a few weeks ago. I\u2019ll share where you can find it at the end. It\u2019s well worth reading.<\/p>\n As most of you know, my new book is designed to unlock the New Testament letters<\/a> in a fresh and powerful way.<\/p>\n Many of the letters in the New Testament follow a similar pattern. The first part of the letter unveils the glories of Christ and the place of the believers in Him. The second part addresses aspects in the lives of the believers that are not in line with the life of Christ.<\/p>\n This article is in the spirit of the latter.<\/p>\n The average human brain makes roughly 35,000 decisions every day. That\u2019s a lot of mental processing power. So when your coworker tells you that Jethro from accounting is secretly dating the boss, your brain takes the shortcut.<\/p>\n Many people will accept the gossip, hook line and sinker without questioning\u2014even though this is a clear violation of Proverbs 18:17:<\/p>\n \u201cAny story sounds true until someone sets the record straight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n And Matthew 7:12:<\/p>\n \u201cSo whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Welcome to the wonderful world of cognitive bias\u2014where more and more people fail at being objective, and most of them will never admit it.<\/p>\n This happens with fake news, with gossip, and with evangelism. In the latter, you are doing your best to demonstrate that Jesus of Nazareth is the world\u2019s true Lord. And you\u2019re met with \u201cdon\u2019t confuse me with the facts.\u201d<\/p>\n People believe what they want. Even in the face of incontrovertible facts.<\/p>\n Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt puts it elegantly: \u201cThe human mind is a story processor, not a logic processor.\u201d When someone hears a juicy rumor, many people don\u2019t analyze its probability. They rather fit it into their existing narrative about the world.<\/p>\n So let\u2019s say that Toby is accused of kidnapping his step-son. Janet knows a man who did the same thing, so when the rumor hits her hearts, she\u2019ll be inclined to accept the rumor without blinking \u2013 even if it\u2019s categorically false.<\/p>\n And if the rumor happens to confirm what a person already thinks about someone?<\/p>\n Game over.<\/p>\n \u201cYea, this accusation against Ferris Snickelfritz sounds exactly like what Constance Noring did. And he\u2019s in jail now. Also, I never cared for Ferris, so the accusation has to be true.\u201d<\/p>\n The only thing is that the rumor you heard ISN\u2019T about Mr. Noring. Ferris is a totally different person. And perhaps if you actually knew him, you\u2019d like him.<\/p>\n Seth Godin wisely said, \u201cJust because someone has a microphone doesn\u2019t mean that we should listen to them.\u201d<\/p>\n The Internet has handed everyone a microphone. Sometimes that\u2019s good. But in many cases, it\u2019s horrific.<\/p>\n Critical thinking\u2014and the path that Jesus taught us to walk in, which would be to go to the person being accused directly to confirm if it\u2019s true or not<\/em> (Matthew 7:12)\u2014left the building hours ago.<\/p>\n Dr. Elliot Aronson, pioneer of cognitive dissonance theory, explains that \u201cwe tend to accept information that confirms our existing beliefs and reject information that contradicts them.\u201d<\/p>\n In other words, if you already think Shaniqua in the marketing department is two-faced, you\u2019ll swallow whole any rumor painting her as meth addict \u2013 even though she may not be.<\/p>\n Skepticism about rumors and gossip is socially expensive. When everyone at the lunch table is gossiping about how the new hire supposedly lied on her resume, if you\u2019re the one who says:<\/p>\n \u201cHey, maybe you should verify this before spreading it around\u201d \u2014 it makes you the buzzkill.<\/p>\n There is a \u201cpile on\u201d factor that the flesh loves. And it will always resist the Spirit.<\/p>\n Anthropologist Robin Dunbar argues that gossip evolved as a social bonding mechanism. His research suggests that about 60% of adult conversation qualifies as gossip \u2013 it\u2019s how we establish group norms and alliances.<\/p>\n Clearly, gossip is fleshly, carnal, sinful. The Bible is unmistakable about this. That\u2019s why Scripture condemns it over 40 times. (Some examples are Romans 1:29; 2 Corinthians 12:20; 1 Timothy 5:13; James 4:11; Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 16:28; Proverbs 11:13; Proverbs 20:19; Proverbs 26:20; Proverbs 18:8; Leviticus 19:16; Psalm 34:13.)<\/p>\n Gossip (and its ugly cousin, slander) contracts the life of Christ which indwells all true Christians.<\/p>\n Questioning rumors doesn\u2019t just show intellectual integrity and godliness. It sometimes marks you as an \u201coutsider\u201d to mobs thirsty for blood.<\/p>\n And yes, such carnality does<\/em> exist in the so-called \u201cChristian\u201d community as ironic (and tragic) as that is.<\/p>\n \u201cThe problem isn\u2019t that people don\u2019t have access to information,\u201d says digital sociologist Dr. Julie Smith. \u201cIt\u2019s that they don\u2019t apply any filters to the information they consume.\u201d<\/p>\n For example, suppose Les Cash hears a juicy accusation against Professor Dilbert Pickles. The rumor is aggressively spread by Walter Melon.<\/p>\n Cash doesn\u2019t personally know Melon. And he doesn\u2019t really know Pickles. Not personally, anyway.<\/p>\n So instead of researching Melon (the accuser) and his history (to see if Melon is credible or not)\u2014and instead of going directly<\/em> to Pickles, which Cash himself would want if he were the one being accused of something\u2014Cash puts his brain on hold and blindly accepts the gossip.<\/p>\n Tragically, people will spend four hours researching which 4K TV to buy but zero minutes verifying whether that shocking thing they heard about another person is actually true.<\/p>\n When you see a professing Christian slandering and\/or gossiping about another brother or sister in Christ, what\u2019s the motivation behind it?<\/p>\n It\u2019s virtually always hatred and contempt. The slandered\/gossiper wants all out destruction of the individual. And that hatred and contempt is typically born out of one or two things: Jealousy or personal offense.<\/p>\n The slanderer is either jealous of the accused or they took personal offense at something they said, wrote, or did.<\/p>\n These are the exact same motivations that operate in the darkened hearts of middle school and high school bullies who wish to destroy another human.<\/p>\n So how do we fix this mess? Here are some tips that actually work, if you care to apply them:<\/p>\n 1) Remember that a rumor tells you more about the rumormonger than the subject of the rumor.<\/strong><\/p>\n People spread information that serves their own psychological needs. Regrettably, smear merchants exist\u2014even in the professing Christian world.<\/p>\n So what\u2019s ironic is that a person will hear gossip about someone, and never think twice about researching the person who is spreading such gossip.<\/p>\n Someone wisely said, \u201cAn accusation from a narcissist is self-confession.\u201d<\/p>\n Most of the time, slanderers are narcissists, trafficking in abject dishonesty. And they are incapable of receiving correction.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, smear merchants have actually increased with the popularity of social media. Jordan Peterson calls such people \u201creputation-savagers,\u201d a fitting description.<\/p>\n 2) Treat the accused the way YOU would want to be treated if you were the object of gossip and rumor.<\/strong><\/p>\n This means two things:<\/p>\n A. Don\u2019t believe an accusation without verification FROM the person being accused.<\/strong> If they deny it, the burden of proof lies on the accuser.<\/p>\n This is how our justice system works. You\u2019ve no doubt heard about the presumption of innocence (innocent until proven guilty) and habeas corpus.<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s not \u201cguilty before proven innocent.\u201d It\u2019s the other way around\u2014innocent until proven guilty.<\/p>\n When Rick Warren was falsely accused about something not long ago, he responded with the truth and added these words:<\/p>\n \u201cShoot first, clarify later\u201d shows they have unloving reasons to hate you.<\/span><\/p>\n \u2018Speaking before listening is foolish & rude\u2019 Pr. 18:13\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Like Jesus and Paul before him, John (the apostle) and his co-workers were falsely accused with \u201cwicked words\u201d by one toxic leader.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I come, I will report some of the things he [Diotrephes] is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us.\u201d (3 John 10, NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSo if I come, I will call attention to his [Diotrephes] malicious slander against us.\u201d (3 John 10, BLB)<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTherefore, if I come, I will call attention to his [Diotrephes] deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words.\u201d (3 John 10, WEB<\/span><\/p>\n B. Go direct.<\/strong> This one\u2019s a no-brainer, but many Christians never do it. Go directly to the person being gossiped about with an open mind to hear their response.<\/p>\n This too is based on the golden standard that Jesus gave us all and which fulfills the entire Law of God (Matthew 7:12).<\/p>\n The harsh truth is this: we\u2019re all susceptible. As philosopher Karl Popper noted, \u201cTrue ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.\u201d<\/p>\n In a world of instant information and five-second attention spans, the most rebellious thing you can do (rebellious to the world and the flesh) and the most honoring thing you can do before God (and His beloved children) is pause, question, investigate the source, and most importantly, go to the person being gossiped about before believing one syllable of the rumor.<\/p>\n As promised, check out the post that inspired this article on The Radical Reformation<\/em> website \u2013 5 Ways To Actively Deal with Gossip and Slander<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n \nThe Comfort of Confirmation<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The Social Survival Game<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The Illusion of Knowledge<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Breaking the Cycle<\/strong><\/h3>\n