Two leading advocates for gender justice argue that caregiving policy is where men\u2019s and women\u2019s movements must unite.<\/h2>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-lblif.nitrocdn.com\/dGudqkMNFXTXrXjkpgPQKThunaLAxBAM\/assets\/images\/optimized\/rev-3137c69\/msmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/GettyImages-1064433422.jpg\")
Catherine Spanberger sits at the feet of her mother Abigail Spanberger, then-Democratic candidate for Virginia\u2019s Seventh District in the U.S. House of Representatives, at an Election Night rally on Nov. 6, 2018, in Richmond, Va. Spanberger, a former CIA officer, declared victory over Republican Dave Brat in their race for a seat that has been under Republican control since 1968. She\u2019s now running for governor. (Win McNamee \/ Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nThe Trump administration would have you believe they\u2019ll try anything to have more babies. Their\u00a0proposed list of incentives<\/a>\u00a0include medals for mothers who have more than six children, classes to educate women about their menstrual cycles, and special seats reserved in the Fulbright program for applicants with children.\u00a0<\/p>\nAnything, that is, except the glaringly obvious solutions:\u00a0affordable, accessible childcare<\/a>\u00a0and paid parental leave.<\/p>\nIn a moment like this\u2014when the cost of childcare\u00a0outpaces<\/a>\u00a0the cost of rent in all 50 states\u2014you\u2019d think there\u2019d be an army of parents standing shoulder to shoulder, demanding better. Instead, we\u2019ve seen moms and dads talking past each other. There are plenty of women talking about how the cost of childcare hurts working moms, and there are plenty of men talking about how we need to reframe manhood to be more inclusive of caregivers. But they don\u2019t seem to be talking to each other.\u00a0<\/p>\nThat\u2019s a strategic mistake. If we want to secure policies that will benefit\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>parents, then we need to come together, breaking down the silos between those advocating for men and those advocating for women. After all, we want the same things: affordable childcare, paid leave and a living wage for all families.<\/p>\nHistorically, men haven\u2019t always been welcome in women\u2019s movements\u2014and in many cases, that was by design. Radical, white feminist-majority groups, like the\u00a0Redstockings<\/a>\u00a0of the 1970s, boxed men out of their organizing efforts and blanket-assigned them blame\u2014oftentimes, dismissing the real struggles faced by poor men, uneducated men and men of color. That not only pushed away potential male allies, but it alienated women of color and other marginalized groups. Even today, we see \u201cwomen only\u201d language used as a front for the anti-trans sentiment that remains\u00a0alive<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0well<\/a>\u00a0in women\u2019s organizations.<\/p>\nAll that set the stage for the gender division we\u2019re seeing right now. Many have wisely realized that the\u00a0boys are not all right<\/a>; they\u2019re falling behind academically, flailing on the job market and struggling with their mental health. So\u00a0scholars<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0organizations<\/a>\u00a0have emerged to do the important, complicated work of rethinking our culture\u2019s concept of masculinity and forging a new path forward for boys and men. <\/p>\nYet, by and large, this work is happening in parallel\u2014not in partnership\u2014with existing gender equality efforts. In other words, we have women\u2019s groups fighting for \u201cwomen\u2019s problems\u201d and men\u2019s organizations fighting for \u201cmen\u2019s problems.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\nDisconnection slows down our movements; solidarity can supercharge them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Both of us have witnessed that divide personally. You could even say we come from opposite sides of it: Reshma has spent years championing gender equality in STEM, and more recently, repairing a broken care economy held up by moms. Gary, meanwhile, has worked to engage men and boys of all backgrounds to redefine masculinity in the US and globally, with an emphasis on promoting men\u2019s care for others, as fathers but far beyond. But we\u2019ve realized that we\u2019re really fighting the same fight. We\u2019re working towards the same vision, and neither of us can achieve it without the other.\u00a0<\/p>\n
So why is breaking down the silos so hard?<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve been sold the con of\u00a0zero-sum thinking<\/a>, the idea that one group\u2019s gain is another\u2019s loss. It\u2019s an age-old myth, but we have good reason to believe it\u2019s getting worse\u2014especially when it comes to gender. As more women work to earn\u00a0college degrees<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0leadership positions<\/a>, for example, a\u00a0third of Republican men<\/a>\u00a0believe women\u2019s gains have come at their expense.\u00a0<\/p>\nThe consequence of zero-sum thinking is that we\u2019re\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>worse off for it. By now, we all know that women bear the brunt of caregiving\u2014taking on as much as\u00a0triple<\/a>\u00a0what men do. But let\u2019s flip the script for a moment. Look at the problem from another angle, and you could also say that economic expectations and traditional gender roles have made it difficult for men to participate in caregiving\u2014even though the vast majority find it incredibly meaningful.\u00a0Eighty-five percent<\/a>\u00a0of fathers with young children say being a parent is one of the most, if not the most, important aspect of their identity.<\/p>\nIt\u2019s no wonder, then, that policies supporting parents are popular across gender lines. In a 2024 Equimundo\u00a0survey<\/a>, researchers found that more than 80 percent of American men\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0women across political, ethnic and income groups support basic care policies, including parental leave and childcare reform.\u00a0<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-lblif.nitrocdn.com\/dGudqkMNFXTXrXjkpgPQKThunaLAxBAM\/assets\/images\/optimized\/rev-3137c69\/msmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/GettyImages-2201519672.jpg\")
Members of the U.S. House Congressional Dads Caucus, including Reps. Tim Kennedy (left), Democrat of New York, and Jimmy Gomez (right), Democrat of California, attend a meeting on tax reform at the Capitol on Feb. 26, 2025. (Saul Loeb \/ AFP via Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nHere\u2019s the other thing our research tells us: Men and women see caregiving as central to their lives, their purpose and their happiness.\u00a0Equimundo\u2019s\u00a0research<\/a>\u00a0found that in the U.S. and around the world, when men and women feel supported in their care for their families, they are 1.5 times more likely to say they have the life they wanted. It\u2019s not just about shared economic wellbeing or policy goals. It\u2019s about our literal happiness as human beings.\u00a0<\/p>\nThat\u2019s why organizations and movement leaders need to deliberately forge partnerships across the gender divide. That isn\u2019t always easy or comfortable, especially when we\u2019ve been taught for so long to stay in our own lanes and dismiss, or even distrust, those on the other side. But the old model just isn\u2019t working\u2014and it certainly won\u2019t push any of our common interests forward.\u00a0Disconnection slows down our movements; solidarity can supercharge them.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re already seeing encouraging signs of what solidarity can look like. Congress isn\u2019t typically the place we go to find models of unity or teamwork. But in 2024, when Rep. Jimmy Gomez launched the first-ever Congressional Dads Caucus, his first action was to reach out to the Congressional Mamas Caucus to make sure they worked together from the beginning. That\u2019s what true partnership looks like.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re bringing together our respective movements on June 5 for the first-ever Future of Fatherhood Summit in New York City. For too long, we\u2019ve been talking about the problems facing men and boys and women and girls in silos, without putting our collective energy behind identifying and uplifting solutions. That\u2019s what we aim to do at the summit: to kick-start a conversation and partnership to advance our movements together.\u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p>\nTo be clear, our common interests aren\u2019t limited to policies that will help parents. But those policies\u2014childcare in particular<\/a>\u2014are up for debate in the halls of Congress right now. Fixing the care crisis shouldn\u2019t be our only end goal, but it\u2019s a valuable and urgent starting point.<\/p>\nBecause this isn\u2019t an \u201cinstead of\u201d conversation. It\u2019s a \u201cyes, and\u201d conversation. Yes, women\u2019s equality is unfinished\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0men are struggling. Yes, we need to change the conversation for our boys\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0we need to create opportunities for girls. Yes, we\u2019ve been divided in the past\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0it\u2019s not too late to fight for our future, our happiness, our well-being,\u00a0together<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
The Trump administration would have you believe they\u2019ll try anything to have more babies. Their\u00a0proposed list of incentives<\/a>\u00a0include medals for mothers who have more than six children, classes to educate women about their menstrual cycles, and special seats reserved in the Fulbright program for applicants with children.\u00a0<\/p>\n Anything, that is, except the glaringly obvious solutions:\u00a0affordable, accessible childcare<\/a>\u00a0and paid parental leave.<\/p>\n In a moment like this\u2014when the cost of childcare\u00a0outpaces<\/a>\u00a0the cost of rent in all 50 states\u2014you\u2019d think there\u2019d be an army of parents standing shoulder to shoulder, demanding better. Instead, we\u2019ve seen moms and dads talking past each other. There are plenty of women talking about how the cost of childcare hurts working moms, and there are plenty of men talking about how we need to reframe manhood to be more inclusive of caregivers. But they don\u2019t seem to be talking to each other.\u00a0<\/p>\n That\u2019s a strategic mistake. If we want to secure policies that will benefit\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>parents, then we need to come together, breaking down the silos between those advocating for men and those advocating for women. After all, we want the same things: affordable childcare, paid leave and a living wage for all families.<\/p>\n Historically, men haven\u2019t always been welcome in women\u2019s movements\u2014and in many cases, that was by design. Radical, white feminist-majority groups, like the\u00a0Redstockings<\/a>\u00a0of the 1970s, boxed men out of their organizing efforts and blanket-assigned them blame\u2014oftentimes, dismissing the real struggles faced by poor men, uneducated men and men of color. That not only pushed away potential male allies, but it alienated women of color and other marginalized groups. Even today, we see \u201cwomen only\u201d language used as a front for the anti-trans sentiment that remains\u00a0alive<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0well<\/a>\u00a0in women\u2019s organizations.<\/p>\n All that set the stage for the gender division we\u2019re seeing right now. Many have wisely realized that the\u00a0boys are not all right<\/a>; they\u2019re falling behind academically, flailing on the job market and struggling with their mental health. So\u00a0scholars<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0organizations<\/a>\u00a0have emerged to do the important, complicated work of rethinking our culture\u2019s concept of masculinity and forging a new path forward for boys and men. <\/p>\n Yet, by and large, this work is happening in parallel\u2014not in partnership\u2014with existing gender equality efforts. In other words, we have women\u2019s groups fighting for \u201cwomen\u2019s problems\u201d and men\u2019s organizations fighting for \u201cmen\u2019s problems.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Disconnection slows down our movements; solidarity can supercharge them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Both of us have witnessed that divide personally. You could even say we come from opposite sides of it: Reshma has spent years championing gender equality in STEM, and more recently, repairing a broken care economy held up by moms. Gary, meanwhile, has worked to engage men and boys of all backgrounds to redefine masculinity in the US and globally, with an emphasis on promoting men\u2019s care for others, as fathers but far beyond. But we\u2019ve realized that we\u2019re really fighting the same fight. We\u2019re working towards the same vision, and neither of us can achieve it without the other.\u00a0<\/p>\n So why is breaking down the silos so hard?<\/p>\n We\u2019ve been sold the con of\u00a0zero-sum thinking<\/a>, the idea that one group\u2019s gain is another\u2019s loss. It\u2019s an age-old myth, but we have good reason to believe it\u2019s getting worse\u2014especially when it comes to gender. As more women work to earn\u00a0college degrees<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0leadership positions<\/a>, for example, a\u00a0third of Republican men<\/a>\u00a0believe women\u2019s gains have come at their expense.\u00a0<\/p>\n The consequence of zero-sum thinking is that we\u2019re\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>worse off for it. By now, we all know that women bear the brunt of caregiving\u2014taking on as much as\u00a0triple<\/a>\u00a0what men do. But let\u2019s flip the script for a moment. Look at the problem from another angle, and you could also say that economic expectations and traditional gender roles have made it difficult for men to participate in caregiving\u2014even though the vast majority find it incredibly meaningful.\u00a0Eighty-five percent<\/a>\u00a0of fathers with young children say being a parent is one of the most, if not the most, important aspect of their identity.<\/p>\n It\u2019s no wonder, then, that policies supporting parents are popular across gender lines. In a 2024 Equimundo\u00a0survey<\/a>, researchers found that more than 80 percent of American men\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0women across political, ethnic and income groups support basic care policies, including parental leave and childcare reform.\u00a0<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the other thing our research tells us: Men and women see caregiving as central to their lives, their purpose and their happiness.\u00a0Equimundo\u2019s\u00a0research<\/a>\u00a0found that in the U.S. and around the world, when men and women feel supported in their care for their families, they are 1.5 times more likely to say they have the life they wanted. It\u2019s not just about shared economic wellbeing or policy goals. It\u2019s about our literal happiness as human beings.\u00a0<\/p>\n That\u2019s why organizations and movement leaders need to deliberately forge partnerships across the gender divide. That isn\u2019t always easy or comfortable, especially when we\u2019ve been taught for so long to stay in our own lanes and dismiss, or even distrust, those on the other side. But the old model just isn\u2019t working\u2014and it certainly won\u2019t push any of our common interests forward.\u00a0Disconnection slows down our movements; solidarity can supercharge them.<\/p>\n We\u2019re already seeing encouraging signs of what solidarity can look like. Congress isn\u2019t typically the place we go to find models of unity or teamwork. But in 2024, when Rep. Jimmy Gomez launched the first-ever Congressional Dads Caucus, his first action was to reach out to the Congressional Mamas Caucus to make sure they worked together from the beginning. That\u2019s what true partnership looks like.<\/p>\n We\u2019re bringing together our respective movements on June 5 for the first-ever Future of Fatherhood Summit in New York City. For too long, we\u2019ve been talking about the problems facing men and boys and women and girls in silos, without putting our collective energy behind identifying and uplifting solutions. That\u2019s what we aim to do at the summit: to kick-start a conversation and partnership to advance our movements together.\u00a0<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To be clear, our common interests aren\u2019t limited to policies that will help parents. But those policies\u2014childcare in particular<\/a>\u2014are up for debate in the halls of Congress right now. Fixing the care crisis shouldn\u2019t be our only end goal, but it\u2019s a valuable and urgent starting point.<\/p>\n Because this isn\u2019t an \u201cinstead of\u201d conversation. It\u2019s a \u201cyes, and\u201d conversation. Yes, women\u2019s equality is unfinished\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0men are struggling. Yes, we need to change the conversation for our boys\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0we need to create opportunities for girls. Yes, we\u2019ve been divided in the past\u2014and<\/em>\u00a0it\u2019s not too late to fight for our future, our happiness, our well-being,\u00a0together<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n