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\n\u201cI will never get divorced!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, everyday I meet the people who would \u201cnever get divorced.\u201d<\/p>\n
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\n\u201cI will never be abused or battered!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, with bruises on their face I meet them.<\/p>\n
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\n\u201cI will never be arrested and\/or my child will never be arrested!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, again, I meet the \u201cnever get arrested\u201d and their parents.<\/p>\n
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\n\u201cMy child will never get addicted to drugs!\u201d\u00a0 But there are those parents in my office, admitting that their child has an addiction.<\/p>\n
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\nEveryone faces adversity at times, and ends up in situations or circumstances they thought were impossible only a short time ago.\u00a0 \u00a0Good people get divorced.\u00a0 Good people make mistakes and get arrested.\u00a0 Good people get addicted to drugs or alcohol.\u00a0 \u00a0However, none of these things were part of their original plan in life.<\/p>\n
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\nI meet with a lot of children, and not one time have they expressed, \u201cWhen I grow up I want to be divorced!\u201d or \u201cWhen I grow up I want to go to jail!\u201d or \u201cWhen I grow up I want to be a drug or alcohol addict!\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0If bad things never happened to good people, I wouldn\u2019t have a job.\u00a0 \u00a0The truth is many bad things happen to good people.\u00a0 Good people make bad choices and decisions.\u00a0 WE ALL DO!\u00a0 So, since everyone makes bad decisions sometimes, does that make us all bad?<\/p>\n
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\nI think we can agree not all people are bad. In fact I would say that most people have a lot of good in them.\u00a0 When people are getting divorced, you hear all the bad about the other party.\u00a0 However, if that soon to be ex-spouse had no redeeming qualities, why were you with them?\u00a0 \u00a0At some point, you saw good in the other person, and at a point in the future you may see the good in them, again.\u00a0 \u00a0If you have children, you will see those good qualities of each other, and enjoy them, again.\u00a0 Even though you said, \u201cI will never get divorced.\u201d\u00a0 You did.<\/p>\n
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\nEven an abuser has redeeming qualities, that is how they suck the victim back in \u2013 charm.\u00a0 \u00a0When used for good, charm is a powerful thing.\u00a0 The abused hold out hope for more of the \u201cgood\u201d moments.\u00a0 Rarely do I hear every moment of a marriage or relationship was abusive and dreadful.\u00a0 The moments of \u201cgood\u201d can hold you in place, patiently waiting.\u00a0 \u00a0Your friends and loved ones waiting less patiently for you to \u201cfigure it out\u201d and \u201cget out.\u201d\u00a0 Saying all along, \u201cThe abuse should never have happened, she\/he deserves better!\u201d True, but it did.<\/p>\n
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\nNow consider the parents of children facing addiction and\/or arrest.\u00a0 You likely know some parents with children who have faced struggles or faced the struggles yourself.\u00a0 \u00a0When the one struggling is a friend or relative, we make many excuses for their behaviors because we KNOW a good kid or person made a bad decision.\u00a0 \u00a0You hear, \u201cThey had good parents and such a good kid with so much potential, this should not have happened.\u201d But it did.<\/p>\n
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\nWe will all face situations we never expected ourselves and with those that we love.\u00a0 \u00a0We will love each other and support each other because we know that each is \u201cgood.\u201d\u00a0 Mistakes and bad choices happen, and there are consequences to be faced.\u00a0 \u00a0We will support those we love through the consequences because we know and believe beneath it all they are good and worthy.\u00a0 This struggle should \u201cnever\u201d have happened to our loved one.\u00a0 But it did.<\/p>\n
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\nNearly every person facing the struggle of something that should \u201cnever\u201d have happened has friends and families who love them.\u00a0 I have rarely had a client who had no support system at all.\u00a0 \u00a0Even the ones called \u201cbad\u201d or \u201cevil\u201d or \u201cno good\u201d have people who love them and support them.\u00a0 Those family and friends that have the never fading memories of happier times. People who share memories of the \u201cgood.\u201d\u00a0 People who pray that the \u201cgood\u201d will return.\u00a0 People who thought the mountain they are facing would \u201cnever\u201d happen.\u00a0 But it did.<\/p>\n
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\nIt is both humbling and inspiring to walk with others through \u201cnever\u201d situations.\u00a0 It is in those moments that you see true love, strength and compassion.\u00a0 \u00a0You see the beauty of love and loyalty.\u00a0 So, maybe our \u201cnever\u201d moments are the very moments meant to teach us humility, grace and forgiveness.\u00a0 \u00a0Maybe they are the moments when we learn to \u201clet go\u201d of something or someone.\u00a0 Maybe they are the moments God gets our attention and straightens our path.<\/p>\n
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\nI know for certain that my own \u201cnever\u201d moments (and they are numerous!) have been my greatest lessons, even when they have brought my greatest heartaches.\u00a0 \u00a0Which is probably why this quote by an unknown author is one of my favorites:
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EVERY TRUE STRENGTH IS GAINED THROUGH STRUGGLE.<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n
\nMay whatever struggle you face bring you great strength! <\/p>\n<\/div>\n