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Human brains are hard-wired to avoid pain, so if money is associated with unpleasant feelings, it makes sense that you\u2019d avoid it. Those unpleasant feelings include shame, uncertainty, regret, fear, and anxiety. Avoidance gives you immediate relief from those feelings, even if it ultimately increases them over the long run.<\/p>\n
The classic avoider takes the \u201chead in the sand\u201d approach to finances because they are afraid to engage with money. They will avoid opening bills, checking their bank account balance, or examining their spending. They may even try to avoid thinking about money.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The humorist avoider uses humor to deflect their true feelings about money. They joke about things like dying with their student loans, never being able to retire, or their empty bank accounts to buy a round at the bar. While they may openly acknowledge their money struggles in this way, making jokes about it mitigates the unpleasant feelings they are trying to avoid.<\/p>\n
The optimist avoider tell themselves that a future windfall or change in circumstances will fix their financial situation. Because they believe that there is an external solution to their money problems coming just around the bend, they let themselves off the hook for addressing their money issues in the present moment.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Once avoidance becomes ingrained, you might not even realize you\u2019re doing it. Keeping a journal about your money avoidance can help you recognize your patterns. Start by writing about past situations when you\u2019ve avoided something financial. Answer the following questions:<\/p>\n
What feelings did you experience during this situation?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
What did you gain by avoiding money in this situation?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
What did you lose by avoiding money in this situation?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Continue to write about your money avoidance as it happens. Additionally, talking to a therapist can help you recognize exactly what feelings you\u2019re trying to avoid and why.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Avoidance begets more avoidance. According to an article from Psychology Today<\/span><\/a>, \u201cBy evading challenges, we signal to our brains that the only way of handling difficult situations is to flee rather than confront them. This bolsters our avoidance instincts. The more we sidestep, the more we perpetuate an unending cycle of discomfort that gradually infiltrates every aspect of our lives.\u201d You can start to break that cycle by taking one small step that makes you uncomfortable and breaks through the avoidance: open one bill, sign up for balance alerts from your bank, or review your spending from the past few days. Bringing in some outer accountability (like a Financial Trainer<\/span><\/a>) will make this easier and more effective.<\/p>\n Need help taking action on your finances?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n To get started, <\/em>schedule a free 20-minute consultation<\/em><\/span><\/a> call to speak to a member of our team. We will ask you a few basic questions to get to know you more, walk you through <\/em>our financial training program steps<\/em><\/span><\/a>, and answer any questions you may have. No pressure to join! Need advice quickly? Talk to one of our <\/em>Trainers on Demand<\/em><\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n