{"id":152236,"date":"2025-03-23T19:40:26","date_gmt":"2025-03-23T19:40:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/business\/marketing\/im-great-at-being-a-supportive-friend-but-i-rarely-feel-seen-or-understood-by-others-heres-how-im-changing-my-approach-and-putting-myself-first\/"},"modified":"2025-03-23T19:40:26","modified_gmt":"2025-03-23T19:40:26","slug":"im-great-at-being-a-supportive-friend-but-i-rarely-feel-seen-or-understood-by-others-heres-how-im-changing-my-approach-and-putting-myself-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=152236","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m great at being a supportive friend, but I rarely feel seen or understood by others. Here\u2019s how I\u2019m changing my approach and putting myself first."},"content":{"rendered":"


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Being a good friend has always been one of my strong suits. For as long as I can remember, I\u2019ve been the shoulder to cry on, the cheerleader in the corner, the confidante ready with a listening ear, and a box of tissues.<\/p>\n

My friends often joke that I missed my calling as a therapist or a motivational speaker given my knack for offering sage advice and comforting words at just the right moment.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always prided myself on being someone who can be relied upon. I was the friend who would take a 2 am call, lend a supportive ear when life got tough, and always be there to celebrate the highs and console during the lows.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s something that came naturally to me \u2014 being there for others \u2014 and something that I genuinely enjoyed.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing, though: while I was busy being everyone else\u2019s support system, I neglected my own needs. I often found myself feeling unseen and misunderstood by those around me.<\/p>\n

As much as they relied on me for support and understanding, it seemed they weren\u2019t quite able to reciprocate when I needed it.<\/p>\n

It was disheartening to realize that despite my efforts to maintain these friendships, they felt one-sided.<\/p>\n

After years of self-reflection, I\u2019ve come to understand that it wasn\u2019t about them not caring or not understanding \u2014 it was about me not advocating for myself.<\/p>\n

And so, here\u2019s where my story takes a turn. I decided it was time to change how I approach friendships and relationships in general.<\/p>\n

It was time to prioritize myself, to ensure that my emotional needs were met just as much as those of the people around me.<\/p>\n

The shift hasn\u2019t been easy or straightforward, but it\u2019s been enlightening in ways I never expected. Let\u2019s delve into how this journey of self-prioritization unfolded and continues to shape my relationships today.<\/p>\n

Embracing self-prioritization: My journey to putting myself first<\/h2>\n

In a bid to alter the dynamics, I started with something that was incredibly hard for me \u2014 saying \u201cno\u201d<\/a>. As a natural people-pleaser, I was always uncomfortable turning down requests or setting boundaries.<\/p>\n

But I realized that in always saying \u2018yes\u2019, I was often sacrificing my own well-being.<\/p>\n

I began small. When a friend called late at night, instead of immediately picking up, I would ask if we could talk in the morning.<\/p>\n

I began expressing when I was tired or needed some alone time, instead of always being available. It felt strange and uncomfortable at first, but with time, it became easier.<\/p>\n

The second step was communicating my needs. Just as my friends were open about their feelings and issues, I began to open up as well.<\/p>\n

Whether it was expressing dissatisfaction or sharing my own worries, I made an effort to be more vocal about my own emotional landscape.<\/p>\n

The result? Surprisingly positive. Not only did it lead to better understanding and deeper connections with my friends, but it also improved my emotional health<\/a> significantly.<\/p>\n

Now, there\u2019s this widely held belief that prioritizing oneself in relationships is selfish or indicates an inability to be supportive.<\/p>\n

But based on my experience, this couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. The next part of this journey will delve into why this perspective is not only misguided but also detrimental to personal growth and healthy relationships.<\/p>\n

Debunking the myth: Self-prioritization isn\u2019t selfish<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s a commonly held notion that prioritizing oneself in relationships is an act of selfishness. That somehow, taking care of your own needs before attending to others\u2019 is a sign of being unsupportive or uncaring.<\/p>\n

I used to believe this too, until my experience proved otherwise.<\/p>\n

From the outside, it might seem that by setting boundaries<\/a> and expressing my needs I was pulling away from my friends.<\/p>\n

But in reality, it was the complete opposite. By taking care of my own emotional well-being first, I was able to be a better friend.<\/p>\n

I was less stressed, more present, and more genuinely invested in the conversations because I wasn\u2019t neglecting my own feelings or needs.<\/p>\n

Moreover, being open about my needs fostered healthier relationships. My friends also started to understand me better and made an effort to meet my needs.<\/p>\n

It turned out that self-prioritization wasn\u2019t driving us apart, but bringing us closer.<\/p>\n

So, contrary to the popular belief, self-prioritization<\/a> isn\u2019t an act of selfishness but rather an act of self-love that benefits not just you but your relationships as well.<\/p>\n

Next up, let\u2019s talk about the key steps I took to integrate self-prioritization into my life and how it changed my approach to friendships.<\/p>\n

Key steps to integrating self-prioritization<\/h2>\n

Transforming my approach to friendships wasn\u2019t an overnight journey, but some key steps helped me along the way. Here\u2019s a look at what worked for me, and might work for you as well.<\/p>\n

Firstly, learn to say \u2018no\u2019. It\u2019s okay to turn down requests if they\u2019re too much for you. It doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re a bad friend; it simply means you\u2019re taking care of your well-being.<\/p>\n

Secondly, communicate your needs. Be open about your feelings and what you need from your friends. Remember, they can\u2019t support you if they don\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n

Lastly, practice self-care regularly<\/a>. This can be anything that helps you relax and rejuvenate \u2013 reading a book, taking a walk, meditating, or simply spending time alone.<\/p>\n

The goal isn\u2019t to become self-centered, but rather to find a balance where your needs are met alongside those of your friends.<\/p>\n

Remember: You can\u2019t pour from an empty cup. By taking care of yourself first, you ensure that you have the emotional capacity to be there for others.<\/p>\n

While it may feel uncomfortable at first, with time, it will lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.<\/p>\n

Reflecting on the bigger picture: A holistic approach<\/h2>\n

Looking back on this journey, I realize that it was about more than just my friendships. It was about understanding societal conditioning, acknowledging my dissatisfaction, and taking responsibility for my own well-being.<\/p>\n

I had to confront the reality<\/a> of my situation and face the discomfort of change. I had to understand that my role as a supportive friend didn\u2019t mean neglecting my own needs.<\/p>\n

And most importantly, I had to break free from the societal expectation that self-prioritization was an act of selfishness.<\/p>\n

Here are the key points I\u2019ve learned from this journey:<\/p>\n