{"id":146111,"date":"2025-03-20T17:48:17","date_gmt":"2025-03-20T17:48:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/business\/finance\/35-lessons-from-35-years\/"},"modified":"2025-03-20T17:48:17","modified_gmt":"2025-03-20T17:48:17","slug":"35-lessons-from-35-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=146111","title":{"rendered":"35 Lessons from 35 Years"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Before the article, here\u2019s what\u2019s happening this week on our podcast, <\/em>Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors<\/em><\/strong>:<\/em><\/p>\n

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I originally wrote this in 2021 (31 lessons in 31 years). But here in 2025, I\u2019ve had a crazy busy week and not enough time to write a brand-new article. Perfect timing though! My birthday is Saturday, so let\u2019s just update this post for 35 years! <\/p>\n

Last year, I wrote about the amazing growth that can occur in a single decade. Here\u2019s that article: A Lot Can Change in Ten Years<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

But for this 35st birthday, I went back and considered 35 valuable lessons that coincide with each year of my life. Some are specific to personal finance and investing, while others are general. Here we go\u2026<\/p>\n

1) It\u2019s Tough Being Helpless<\/h3>\n

I, like you, was a helpless little butterball. Thankfully, human parents make huge sacrifices to help their helpless kids (thanks mom and dad!). Thank your parents \ud83d\ude42 <\/p>\n

But that courtesy ends at some point. Eventually, you\u2019ve got to learn to help yourself. <\/p>\n

2) Be Nice to Bigger Fish<\/h3>\n

I was the youngest of three boys. If I didn\u2019t play nice with my brothers, I might get shoved down in the snow.<\/p>\n

The same thing happens in adulthood, but the shove and the snow look a little different. <\/p>\n

3) Eat Cake!<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s a photo of my 2nd (or maybe 3rd) birthday where I\u2019m eating sour cream coffee cake. It\u2019s still my favorite dessert. <\/p>\n

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Not the same picture I was thinking of. But I\u2019ve always been a cake fan (left)\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Life is better with cake. Or whatever your version of cake might be. If we can\u2019t eat cake, then what\u2019s this all about? <\/p>\n

4) Play Games<\/h3>\n

Some of my earliest memories at home involve playing games<\/a>\u2014rummy, Parcheesi, Magic: The Gathering\u2014with my parents or brothers. <\/p>\n

Turns out that real life, too, involves a little bit of math, strategy, luck, skill, politics, memory, pattern recognition, etc. <\/p>\n

Games are more than just games. <\/p>\n

5) Some People Want to Watch the World Burn<\/h3>\n

In kindergarten, Eric (still one of my best friends) and I built a sick<\/em> tower out of foam blocks. And then Robert came over with zero hesitation and kicked the tower. <\/p>\n

Our creation was strewn about the carpeted floor. Our 12 minutes of work turned to rubble, <\/p>\n

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The world has no shortage of Roberts. Good lesson to learn early. <\/p>\n

6) Helping is Fun<\/h3>\n

1st-grade involved forays into arithmetic. It came easily to me. P.S. 6-year olds don\u2019t \u201coutwork\u201d other 6-years olds to get good at multiplication\u2026it\u2019s just the luck of the draw<\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

But I also learned in first grade that I liked helping people understand their multiplication. <\/p>\n

Helping people is fun. <\/p>\n

7) Don\u2019t Compound Your Negatives<\/h3>\n

Embarrassed about I-don\u2019t-remember-what, I threw a kickball (in anger!<\/em>) at my gym teacher when she tried to console me. Sorry Mrs. Markowski! <\/p>\n

Teachers, it turns out, disapprove of students hurling kickballs at them. I compounded one small negative with a much larger one.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let your negatives compound. <\/p>\n

8) Failure Happens<\/h3>\n

I was a good student, so getting a C<\/strong> on a math test in 3rd-grade was devastating<\/em>. I did not have the tools to deal with (what I deemed) a massive failure. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s a good lesson to learn early. It\u2019s certainly a lesson you\u2019ll learn often. Failure happens. Dealing with failure is an amazing<\/em> skill. I\u2019m still practicing. <\/p>\n

9) Some Things Aren\u2019t Worth Learning<\/h3>\n

In the 1990s (and maybe still today), New York\u2019s 4th-graders spend a month of Social Studies lessons learning about the architectural aspects of Iroquois longhouses. <\/p>\n

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Anthropology is important. Understanding other cultures is vital. <\/p>\n

But I shudder when comparing the millions of people-hours (not an exaggeration) spent on Iroquois longhouses versus the utility of that knowledge in our lives today. Thatched roofs aren\u2019t tha<\/em>t<\/em> important. <\/p>\n

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10) The Eye of the Beholder<\/h3>\n

During one of Mr. Gill\u2019s entertaining 5th-grade science lessons, I yawned right in front of him. To me, it was a simple, innocent yawn. I was tired! <\/p>\n

But when I saw Mr. Gill\u2019s reaction, I immediately<\/em> knew I had done something wrong. I paused, retraced my previous five seconds, and realized, <\/p>\n

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\u201cOh no. Oh no<\/em>. Mr. Gill interpreted my yawn as disrespect. That I was openly and rudely signaling boredom.\u201d <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I quickly apologized and assured him I meant no harm. And thankfully, he saw my sincerity. <\/p>\n

What an amazing lesson. Intentions matter, but so does the way our intentions are interpreted. And sincere apologies matter too. <\/p>\n

11) Black Swans<\/h3>\n

Mr. Leone\u2019s 6th-grade social studies classroom.<\/em> That\u2019s where I was when we turned on the TV to see the Twin Towers fall on September 11, 2001. Where were you? <\/p>\n

Some events are unforeseen, unpredictable, and yet have colossal consequences. These are black swans. <\/p>\n

12) First Impressions are Just Impressions<\/h3>\n

We had a new kid at school who was so cool<\/em>. Within a couple days, he felt like an old friend. <\/p>\n

And within a month, he turned out to be a real dick. Oops. <\/p>\n

First impressions can fool you. <\/p>\n

13) Strict is OK<\/h3>\n

Our 8th-grade math teacher\u2014Mrs. Sweet\u2014had a reputation for being strict<\/strong><\/em>. Yes, reader, it is<\/em> ironic that Mrs. Sweet did not have a sweet reputation. <\/p>\n

But she was the best math teacher I ever had. Learning algebra from her was so easy. Maybe because we were all scared to death about goofing off. <\/p>\n

Hey, it worked! Strict = structure, and many humans need structure. <\/p>\n

14) We Live Different Stories<\/h3>\n

In 9th-grade English, one of my classmates got into an argument with the teacher. He (the student) was sent to the principal\u2019s office for punishment. Instead of complying, he opened up the classroom window, hopped out, and walked to the local diner. <\/p>\n

At the time, I could never imagine doing this. But that\u2019s because he and I lived different lives. <\/p>\n

To him, the point of school\u2014this lesson, this assignment, this discipline\u2014wasn\u2019t worth understanding. Looking back now, I get it. I understand (at least a little bit) his point of view. <\/p>\n

Different lives, different lenses. Same world, different perceptions. <\/p>\n

15) Work > Talent<\/h3>\n

I played basketball my entire childhood. I felt I was a shoo-in to be a starting guard on the junior-varsity basketball team in my freshman year. <\/p>\n

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Nope. <\/p>\n

While my skills were there, I was chubby and slow. Even for small-school JV basketball, I didn\u2019t have the athleticism to make an impact on the court. I was a liability.<\/p>\n

That summer, I worked on my game and pushed to get faster. A ~4-inch growth spurt helped too. <\/p>\n

As a sophomore, I started at point guard on our <\/em>varsity team. <\/p>\n

16) You Control the Pace<\/h3>\n

Basketball was great fun, but I was most at home on the pitching mound in baseball. And all good pitchers know this lesson (thanks, Dad!):<\/p>\n

The pitcher controls the pace of the game. <\/strong><\/p>\n

If you feel rushed, step off the mound and re-group. If you\u2019re in flow, get set and force the batter to step up to the plate. Nobody can push you to go faster or slower than you want to.<\/p>\n

Life doesn\u2019t always <\/em>allow you to control the pace. But it usually does, and it\u2019s your <\/strong>life. Don\u2019t let other people set your pace for you. <\/p>\n

17) Once in a Lifetime<\/h3>\n

Despite my basketball and baseball stories, Red Creek was a soccer school. We had a Hall of Fame coach and great players, and we won three New York state titles in four years around my graduation.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t play soccer during my junior and senior years. Why? Because I would have sat on the bench all season. Instead, I spent my autumn working on basketball and baseball.<\/p>\n

But I missed opportunities to hang out with friends, play for a great coach, and sit through rainy Fall nights on hard aluminum benches, watching my teammates push towards state titles.<\/p>\n

In retrospect, I should have played. I missed that once-in-a-lifetime chance.<\/p>\n

Instead, I got a life lesson: take advantage of your precious opportunities. <\/p>\n

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