{"id":139523,"date":"2025-03-17T11:57:12","date_gmt":"2025-03-17T11:57:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peraltafinancing.com\/business\/investing\/im-paralysed-at-the-thought-of-asking-for-a-pay-rise-will-i-be-fired-for-it-vicky-reynal-replies\/"},"modified":"2025-03-17T11:57:12","modified_gmt":"2025-03-17T11:57:12","slug":"im-paralysed-at-the-thought-of-asking-for-a-pay-rise-will-i-be-fired-for-it-vicky-reynal-replies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fivemor.com\/?p=139523","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m paralysed at the thought of asking for a pay rise. Will I be fired for it? VICKY REYNAL replies"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"js-article-text\" wp_automatic_readability=\"106.41609028031\">\n<p class=\"author-section byline-plain\">By VICKY REYNAL, THE MONEY PSYCHOTHERAPIST <\/p>\n<p class=\"byline-section\"><span class=\"article-timestamp article-timestamp-updated\"> <span class=\"article-timestamp-label\">Updated:<\/span> <time datetime=\"2025-03-17T11:49:10+0000\"> 11:49 GMT, 17 March 2025 <\/time> <\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <!-- ad: https:\/\/mads.dailymail.co.uk\/v8\/de\/money\/mailplusmoney\/article\/other\/para_top.html --> <!-- CWV --><!--[if !IE]><!--> <link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/mol-fe\/static\/mol-fe-async-bundle\/11.11.6\/articleDefer.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/> <!--<![endif]--> <!--[if IE]>\n<link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/1.17.0\/registration--.css\" media=\"screen\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/>\n<![endif]--> <!--[if !IE]><!--> <link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/18.2.2\/registration--.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/> <!--<![endif]--><!--[if IE]>\n<link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/1.17.0\/all-ie8-9--.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/>\n<link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/1.17.0\/all1-ie8-9--.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/>\n<![endif]--> <!--[if !IE]><!--> <link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/mol-fe\/static\/mol-fe-sync-bundle\/14.2.1\/desktop.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/> <link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/18.2.2\/all--.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/><link href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/18.2.2\/all1--.css\" media=\"all\" rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" \/> <!--<![endif]--><!--[if gte IE 8]><!--> <link rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" media=\"screen\" href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/mol-fe\/static\/mol-fe-fff\/2.5.0\/styles\/fff.css\" \/> <!--<![endif]-->  <!--[if IE 8]>\n\n<![endif]--> <!--[if IE 9]>\n\n<![endif]--> <!--[if IE]>\n\n<![endif]--> <!--[if !IE]> -->  <!--<![endif]--><!-- SiteCatalyst code version: H.20.3.\n    Copyright 1997-2009 Omniture, Inc. More info available at\n    http:\/\/www.omniture.com -->  <\/p>\n<p>         <!-- End SiteCatalyst code version: H.20.3. -->  <!--[if IE]>\n\n<![endif]--> <!--[if !IE]> -->   <!--<![endif]--><!--[if IE]>\n  \n  <noscript><link rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/gunther\/gunther-2159\/video_bundle--.css\"><\/noscript>\n  \n<![endif]--> <!--[if !IE]> --> <link rel=\"preload\" href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/videoplayer\/7.10.0\/styles\/mol-fe-videoplayer.min.css\" as=\"style\" onload=\"this.rel=\" stylesheet=\"\" \/> <noscript><link rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/videoplayer\/7.10.0\/styles\/mol-fe-videoplayer.min.css\" \/><\/noscript>  <!-- <![endif]-->\n          <link rel=\"stylesheet\" type=\"text\/css\" href=\"https:\/\/scripts.dailymail.co.uk\/static\/mol-fe\/static\/mol-fe-xpmodule-related-story-factbox\/2.3.1\/styles.css\" \/>\n<p>          <!-- CWV --><\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"articleBody\" wp_automatic_readability=\"92.71865520728\">\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\"><span class=\"mol-style-italic\">I\u2019m really unhappy with my salary. I\u2019m still earning the same amount as when I started at the firm six years ago.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\"><span class=\"mol-style-italic\">But I\u2019m paralysed at the thought of asking for more money, despite knowing all my colleagues get more than me. How can I find the courage to speak up?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\"><span class=\"mol-style-italic\"><span class=\"mol-style-bold\">D.W., via email<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\"><span class=\"mol-style-bold\">Money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal replies: <\/span>It\u2019s important to unpack the fear that\u2019s holding you back. While most people feel some trepidation &#8211; or even anxiety &#8211; at the thought of walking into their boss\u2019s office to ask for a pay rise, they can usually bring themselves to do it.\u00a0In your case, we need to understand what has made these feelings paralysing.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Try to get curious about what it is in your current workplace that might be triggering this fear. I\u2019ve worked with clients who were so afraid of stirring up envy in others that they consistently kept themselves \u2018small\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Perhaps you\u2019re doing something similar with money &#8211; earning less to avoid dealing with people\u2019s envy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Or maybe it\u2019s this particular boss who feels especially intimidating. Do they remind you of someone?<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">A shaming teacher from your past? A strict or passive &#8211; aggressive parent? What about your history of rejection? Not just around money &#8211; think more broadly about your experiences of being told \u2018no\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"artSplitter mol-img-group\" style=\"\" wp_automatic_readability=\"9\">\n<div class=\"mol-img\">\n<div class=\"image-wrap\"> <img decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-2c960358860d5cde\" src=\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2025\/03\/17\/11\/96245139-14506849-image-m-4_1742210864551.jpg\" height=\"631\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Most people feel some trepidation - or even anxiety - at the thought of walking into their boss\u2019s office to ask for a pay rise, writes VICKY REYNAL\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" style=\"max-width:100%\" loading=\"lazy\" \/> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"imageCaption\">Most people feel some trepidation &#8211; or even anxiety &#8211; at the thought of walking into their boss\u2019s office to ask for a pay rise, writes VICKY REYNAL<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">This isn\u2019t only about past pay rise conversations. Maybe your childhood was full of moments when your requests were dismissed: parents who never had time to look at your latest construction or drawing, who refused to buy you the football cards you wanted, or who sent you away when you offered to help them with something.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Experiences like these can leave a lasting imprint &#8211; the sense that asking for things is futile or even risky because you so often didn\u2019t get what you wanted.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">I\u2019ve sat with many clients who struggle to ask for more because they still hear an internal voice saying, \u2018When you ask, you don\u2019t get, or \u2018You\u2019re so needy\u2019, or \u2018You\u2019re just plain greedy\u2019.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">They imagine the conversation about a rise as a minefield where they might disturb or upset someone, only to end up feeling worse about themselves if it\u2019s refused. Some even fear being punished or<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">fired &#8211; just for asking. If any of this resonates, I\u2019d invite you to step back from these fears and gently ask yourself: How likely is this, <span class=\"mol-style-italic\">really<\/span>?<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">In your current workplace, is it your experience that people say \u2018no\u2019 and humiliate you? Or do these fears belong to your past?<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Try to focus on your recent achievements and reconnect with the value you bring to your role.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">One of my clients keeps a folder in their inbox with emails of praise. Before walking into a crucial big meeting where she might have been asking for more money, she reread those messages to remind her of her impact and contributions.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Of course, the deepest validation comes from within &#8211; but sometimes a reminder that others have recognised your work can give you the boost you need to step into that room with confidence.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">And if they say no?<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">First, consider the meaning you attach to that answer. You have a choice: Do you let it diminish the good work you\u2019ve done or your worth as a person? Or can you hold on to the truth of your value, regardless of their decision?<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Second, you can choose how to respond. You\u2019re no longer the child who had to swallow hurt feelings and tell yourself, \u2018I\u2019m not good enough.\u2019<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">You\u2019re an adult who can recognise your worth and voice your feelings. You might say you\u2019re disappointed because you believe your request was fair, based on your contributions.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">You could ask for feedback, or for clarity about what criteria might lead to a pay increase.<\/p>\n<ul class=\"mol-bullets-with-font\">\n<li class=\"mol-style-bold\"><span class=\"mol-style-italic\">Do you have a question for Vicky? Email Vicky.reynal@dailymail.co.uk<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>            <!-- ad: https:\/\/mads.dailymail.co.uk\/v8\/de\/money\/mailplusmoney\/article\/other\/inread_player.html --><\/p>\n<div class=\"column-content cleared\">\n<div class=\"shareArticles\">\n<h3 class=\"social-links-title\">Share or comment on this article:<br \/>\n                        I&#8217;m paralysed at the thought of asking for a pay rise. Will I be fired for it? VICKY REYNAL replies<\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-style-italic byline-section justify\">Some links in this article may be affiliate links. If you click on them we may earn a small commission. That helps us fund This Is Money, and keep it free to use. We do not write articles to promote products. We do not allow any commercial relationship to affect our editorial independence.<\/p>\n<p>            <ad-slot position=\"smart_feed\"><\/ad-slot><\/p>\n<p>            <ad-slot position=\"after_article\"><\/ad-slot><\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By VICKY REYNAL, THE MONEY PSYCHOTHERAPIST Updated: 11:49 GMT, 17 March 2025 I\u2019m really unhappy with my salary. I\u2019m still earning the same amount as when I started at the firm six years ago.\u00a0 But I\u2019m paralysed at the thought of asking for more money, despite knowing all my colleagues get more than me. How [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":139524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[96],"tags":[42039,23051,59469,832,59470,11007,59473,59472,6234,4821,59471],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-139523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-investing","tag-dailymail","tag-fired","tag-mailplusmoney","tag-money","tag-paralysed","tag-pay","tag-replies","tag-reynal","tag-rise","tag-thought","tag-vicky"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I&#039;m paralysed at the thought of asking for a pay rise. Will I be fired for it? 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