Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we\u2019re returning to Monogatari\u2019s rambling Off Season, as Nadeko does her best to hunt down her unruly past selves. Having embraced Yotsugi\u2019s dubious suggestion of enlisting her own former identities to jumpstart her manga production, she is now in the unenviable position having to wrangle four rebellious Nadekos, each of them representing some version of herself she had hoped to leave behind her.<\/span><\/p>\n This is an unfortunate situation for certain, but as far as Monogatari goes, it\u2019s not exactly an unusual one. Here, apparitions are not monsters to be defeated in glorious combat, but aspects of the self that prompt anxiety or self-loathing, emotions and personas that we\u2019d rather deny or forget. You cannot defeat such phantoms by ignoring them \u2013 you must embrace the truth within them, accept that they are in some way a part of you, and thereby move past them, equipped with a fuller and more forgiving understanding of your own identity. Just as Hanekawa embraced her \u201csisters\u201d and Araragi saved Ougi, Nadeko must accept the truth that personal reinvention is a slow, aspirational process, and that there is still something to love and learn from in her wayward past selves. And to start that process, we\u2019re going to have to go right back to the beginning, to the meek Nadeko we first met and the school that was her nemesis!<\/span><\/p>\n Episode 3<\/b><\/p>\n Nadeko stands before her hated middle school, embarrassed to be seen in her textbook shut-in ensemble. The track suit is a classic look for such characters, so iconic that it implies she\u2019s still basically wearing a costume, putting on a new guise rather than embracing an authentic self. Of course, \u201cauthenticity\u201d is itself a tricky variable \u2013 activities we begin as intentional, transformative practices can become routines over time, gaining authenticity through repetition. The self-aware among us are always somewhat performing a self<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat a troublesome being she is! She\u2019s just like me!\u201d Meek Nadeko used her frailty as camouflage, hiding within her community\u2019s low expectations, and acting cute to get away with her lack of engagement in the world. No surprise she\u2019d go to ground among the protective coral of the middle school, where her more attention-drawing successor would fear to tread<\/span><\/p>\n Ougi offers to enter in her place, which Nadeko actually considers before admitting she has to do this herself. Love these tiny thoughtful Nadekos we get for her \u201chmms\u201d though \u2013 this new hairstyle is really working for her<\/span><\/p>\n Ooh, more fun manga panel-reminiscent layouts as our pair begin their infiltration<\/span><\/p>\n My god, this OP is ridiculous. A bunch of wild Nadekos reminiscent of Mayoi\u2019s first OP, though the melody is still another riff on Renai Circulation, following the iterative pattern of Delusion Express. Nadeko\u2019s OPs always emphasize continuity \u2013 she\u2019s putting on new guises, but she\u2019s always the same person<\/span><\/p>\n And Yotsugi just holding her head in her hands amidst this Nadeko swarm. You caused this, Yotsugi!<\/span><\/p>\n But we conclude with current Nadeko running happily forward alongside her Nadeko clones, having presumably learned to embrace her past and integrate its lessons into her current identity<\/span><\/p>\n Ah, apparently it was actually Flirty Nadeko who fled to the school! I wonder if even these past Nadekos are attempting to reinvent themselves, or to find a place where their personas are actually valued<\/span><\/p>\n And of course, these bonus Nadekos aren\u2019t all on the same side \u2013 if anything, I assume the later Nadekos have nothing but disrespect for their predecessors. Thus Flirty Nadeko stole Meek Nadeko\u2019s outfit in order to infiltrate the school<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t cut yourself apart from the shikigami by saying \u2018my former self,\u2019 Sengoku.\u201d Ougi\u2019s words speak to the heart of the matter \u2013 Nadeko refusing to accept these copies as aspects of her authentic self. She might have been trying to reinvent herself, but all of these copies reflect meaningful facets of Nadeko as a whole, just prioritized and exaggerated so as to take up her whole personality<\/span><\/p>\n Nadeko\u2019s middle school features architecture just as grand and spiraling as Araragi\u2019s high school. Schools do tend to feel cavernous when you feel out of place within them; I still occasionally have nightmares about being late and unable to find the right classroom<\/span><\/p>\n Flirty Nadeko has unsurprisingly entirely taken over her classroom. She only revealed this persona to Araragi before, who in spite of his irrepressible horniness was already taken, but Nadeko\u2019s classmates have no antibodies for a Nadeko who\u2019s aiming to please<\/span><\/p>\n And our current Nadeko, so dedicated to her manga that she\u2019s abandoned people-pleasing entirely, can\u2019t help but feel a bit jealous. It wasn\u2019t necessarily that Nadeko has evolved past desiring the adoration of the crowd \u2013 it\u2019s that she\u2019s given up on ever authentically receiving it, and has thus decided to find her pride and self-image elsewhere. But when confronted with a Nadeko who\u2019s succeeded on the terms she once valued, the fact that she hasn\u2019t actually gotten <\/span>over<\/span><\/i> those old desires becomes clear<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cShe was glimmering so much that it was blinding.\u201d Would you embrace this persona as authentic if it was working for you, Nadeko? Would your lofty words about living sincerely still strike as true if the alternative was being so beloved for your falsehoods? This arc is clearly stress-testing Nadeko\u2019s personal evolution, asking her if she turned from her prior beliefs out of genuine conviction, or simply despair at their failure to promote a happy life<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cShe looks like she\u2019s having so much fun, and she\u2019s entertaining those around her.\u201d An understandable, unstated bitterness in Nadeko\u2019s reflections. Why must she be the one to grow beyond such a stage, when she never got to enjoy it in the first place? Isn\u2019t there still time for her to be young and frivolous and popular? If this was always an option, can\u2019t sacrificing herself to art maybe wait a few years?<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIf I was happy right now, I wouldn\u2019t make an effort to chase my dreams.\u201d Ougi summarizes Nadeko\u2019s feelings in the bluntest way possible<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBecause you have dissatisfaction and gripes, you have hopes and dreams.\u201d People who are happy with their lives don\u2019t feel the need to seek some ephemeral, distant horizon, something achievable only through tremendous self-sacrifice. They have integrated successfully into society, and find satisfaction in excelling at their role within it. If Nadeko could seize such ordinary happiness, she wouldn\u2019t need to pin her hopes on the uncertain happiness of success as a mangaka<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cOf course, that\u2019s transitory in its own right. Lukewarm water will someday cool down and become cold water. It might be good for now, but you can\u2019t hide the anxiety you feel towards your future.\u201d Indeed, dazzling your middle school classmates with your mastery of a cute social affectation is not a lasting road to personal happiness<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cCurrent Nadeko, who is chasing her dream, may seem even more brilliant.\u201d It is easier to observe what is desirable about any given Nadeko as an outsider, rather than the person actually living with that Nadeko\u2019s fears and regrets<\/span><\/p>\n But it\u2019s easy for Ougi to say all of this. It\u2019s far harder for Nadeko to banish this shikigami \u2013 to essentially close the book on this former dream, even as she watches a version of herself for whom its rewards seem to come so easily. Can she really say Current Nadeko is her true self if she\u2019s not willing to reject the dreams that inspired her former incarnations?<\/span><\/p>\n Yotsugi explains the method for capturing these apparitions, the method she actually learned from Mayoi<\/span><\/p>\n Current Nadeko attempts to declare her validity, but is ignored by her classmates, and thus begins to wonder if her current aspect is the flimsy identity that ought to disappear. If her conviction was truly this weak, it\u2019s no wonder she\u2019s still in thrall to her former dreams<\/span><\/p>\n In the end, she actually lacks the strength to break through Flirty Nadeko\u2019s defenses \u2013 it\u2019s only Ougi pulling the fire alarm that returns her to her senses, and gives her the opportunity to banish this mocking phantom<\/span><\/p>\n Excellent color design for this escape sequence, reducing the school\u2019s design to primary colors to increase a sense of violent contrast, and also evoke a sense of drawings that haven\u2019t been fully colored in, furthering the framing conceit of Nadeko being the one drawing most of this drama, but here being too rushed to complete her coloring<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBecause of this, it\u2019s even harder for me to go back to school now.\u201d But that was nonetheless essential \u2013 a clean break with that dream of superficial popularity<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI was able to reject her in the spur of the moment.\u201d And yet, Current Nadeko still doesn\u2019t feel confident that she was right to do so, that her current identity is superior or more sincere than Flirty Nadeko\u2019s dreams<\/span><\/p>\n Ougi gets a call from Kanbaru about the middle school disturbance. Ougi interestingly opens with \u201cI\u2019m taking the day off due to personal reasons,\u201d implying the two of them regularly see each other<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHave you been well?\u201d \u201cYes! I\u2019m not dead. I\u2019m still alive.\u201d I feel you, Nadeko<\/span><\/p>\n Oh god. Kanbaru\u2019s heard reports of a topless Nadeko wandering around town<\/span><\/p>\n Ougi briefly recommends summoning a hundred more Nadekos to look for the existing Nadekos, but Current Nadeko is fortunately wise enough to decline<\/span><\/p>\n Aw shit, Nadeko runs into Sodachi!<\/span><\/p>\n And she has of course received her requisite character development haircut<\/span><\/p>\n Sodachi\u2019s also having trouble finding a new path; she\u2019s dropped out of college, and is currently just reading on her own time. Finding happiness is a messy, wandering process for everyone<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI told you, it\u2019s fine to call me like old times.\u201d Sodachi likely appreciates this fragment of constancy in her perpetually evolving life \u2013 in spite of it all, she\u2019s still Big Sister Sodachi in Nadeko\u2019s eyes<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhen I entered college, I thought I\u2019d change my image a bit. Though, I failed.\u201d The haircuts are aspirational, an expression of intent to become a new, more fully realized and happier self. But it is easier to declare we are building a new self than to actually follow through on it, and I appreciate that Isin is questioning and complicating even this most reliable of his flourishes<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou absolutely can\u2019t accept it and cry yourself to sleep.\u201d Sodachi offers some tragically pointed advice on being bullied<\/span><\/p>\n In spite of not knowing the full story, Sodachi is nonetheless impressed with how much Nadeko has changed since grade school. An unbiased outside observer can offer her the frank acknowledgment that she can\u2019t trust from herself, or from such close associates as Yotsugi and Ougi<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI tried entering college. I tried cutting my hair. I tried living alone. But in the end, I was just who I was.\u201d The type of anxieties Nadeko is facing sadly don\u2019t naturally dissipate after adolescence; we are all forever works in progress, and the drastic reinventions you often see even among adults are a testament to the difficulty of really, truly believing you have become your best, most fulfilled possible self. Sodachi is not abnormal; if anything, it\u2019s Hanekawa who\u2019s the unusual one for having seemingly figured herself out so fully at such a young age. One of several reasons I find her so inspirational<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI ran around in circles, and came back to where I originally started. That\u2019s the same as not doing anything.\u201d Oh, Sodachi. The setting mirrors her words, this park\u2019s bike-rail that only goes in circles<\/span><\/p>\n Nadeko attempts to cheer Sodachi up by relating her own story, and Sodachi replies with a kind affirmation: \u201cnot going to school anymore won\u2019t end your life.\u201d We think of so many theoretical failures with such a brutal sense of finality, but it is natural to stumble, and easier than you\u2019d expect to just keep on living. Love seeing these two offer each other what kindness they can, given how much they\u2019ve both struggled just to be here<\/span><\/p>\n Of course, there\u2019s only so long you can stay peacefully adrift, as well. Sodachi wonders to herself how long she can possibly go on like this<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI was a middle schooler who took virtually every opinion from anyone pretty seriously. And to be honest, I can\u2019t deny I still have tendencies like that.\u201d Sodachi can\u2019t offer a flippant \u201cit gets better,\u201d but she has learned to survive alongside her prior instincts<\/span><\/p>\n A light whistle interpretation of \u201cRenai Circulation\u201d accompanies this conversation, further emphasizing Nadeko\u2019s continuity of identity<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t think that this one harsh opinion is everything about your parents. They might be secretly regretting that they told you that.\u201d An absolutely true statement, but also a difficult one to put into practice. We are all many things at once, but single statements we make can easily stick in the minds of others, becoming representative of all our feelings due to their harsh, lasting impact. We are so good at hurting each other, at taking single outlying statements to heart, and even worse at acknowledging the multiplicity of others than we are at recognizing our own variability<\/span><\/p>\n Sodachi cautions against getting caught up in one interpretation of her parents\u2019 wishes, and thereby only growing further apart<\/span><\/p>\n And Sodachi\u2019s words are as much for herself as for Nadeko. Seeing a younger version of herself, caught up in all these same identity struggles, makes her assurances that such difficulties are normal convincing even to herself. Thus she decides to attend her afternoon lectures<\/span><\/p>\n With renewed confidence, Current Nadeko traces Meek Nadeko to the Araragi house!<\/span><\/p>\n And Done<\/b><\/p>\n Whew, that was a <\/span>dense<\/span><\/i> goddamn episode! Well, they\u2019re all pretty dense when it comes to this show, but I didn\u2019t expect such a scathing rebuke of Nadeko\u2019s wavering convictions from Ougi to immediately lead into such a poignant reunion with Sodachi. Though their approaches could not have been more different, both Ougi and Sodachi had crucial advice for Nadeko. Ougi\u2019s challenging of the substance of her current identity basically struck at the heart of this overall arc, emphasizing that a life path chosen purely out of desperation at not achieving your <\/span>true<\/span><\/i> desires will never feel like a fully legitimate identity. Nadeko must come to understand that these identities are all still a part of her, and genuinely choose to turn away from them as destiny, not because she failed in achieving them, but because they don\u2019t encompass her full, actual self. And to this intimidating task, Sodachi offers the comforting assurance that life won\u2019t end just because she\u2019s uncertain \u2013 her parents aren\u2019t trying to ruin her life, they\u2019re just worried for her sake, and taking more time to figure out her destination is always allowed. Granted, she should maybe do that <\/span>after<\/span><\/i> stopping this half-naked Nadeko from wandering around the neighborhood.<\/span><\/p>\n This\u00a0article\u00a0was\u00a0mad<\/a><\/em>e possible by reader support<\/a>. Thank you all for\u00a0all that you do.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wrongeverytime.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/November21110145.jpg?resize=584%2C329&ssl=1\")
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<\/p>\nLike this:<\/h3>\n