Cover Snark: Sorry to Your Eyeballs


Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Hunter's Valentine by Lynnea Lee. A big, beefy purple man with curved horns is dipping a woman. She is wearing a gray dress and her brown hair is pulled into a bun. She's definitely disassociating.

From Melodie: The Mannequin sequels are getting weird.

Sarah: I don’t think he’s dipping her. I think she’s in full rigor and he’s carrying her with one arm like she’s a roll of carpet.

Amanda: That man is massive. Also there is absolutely nothing behind that woman’s eyes.

Diving in with Alioth by Meghan Monarch. An illustrated cover of a very blue man underwater with tentacles coming up from the bottom of the page. He has dark hair and very well-groomed facial hair.

From Alyssa.

Sarah: Tentacles or not, I do not appreciate the look he’s giving me, like he’s .03 seconds from rolling his eyes and telling me I’m too emotional.

Amanda: I’m sorry but that’s Chris Cornell (RIP).

Fated to the Protective Alpha by Darcy Nash. A shirtless dude who looks very sad and has tribal tattoos along his arms and up to his pecs. An angry wolf glowers in the background where white glittery tendrils swirl around a full moon.

From Charlotte: Mr. Alpha just looks so very disappointed in things. Same Mr. Alpha. Same.

Sarah: He’s not mad. He’s disappointed. The wolf, however, will continue to shit in his shoes.

Sneezy: Didn’t realize magical moon jizz is kinda dry.

Amanda: If you zoom in on his skin, it looks like when you fall asleep on a knitted blanket and you wake up sweaty, covered in drool, and with the pattern imprinted on the side of your face.

A Wife Lottery to Set Their Hearts Free by Ava Winters. A man embraces a woman from behind. She has on a bright yellow silk shirt and a red and blue plaid skirt. He's in a suit and tie. A steam train barrels behind them alongside a white picket fence.

From cat_blue: Holy eyestrain batman!

Elyse: What the fuck is that title?

Sarah: Is that Balki from Perfect Strangers?

Claudia: On the plus side, they can save money using her skirt as the picnic blanket. Then use the savings to play the real lottery.



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