Hieros Gamos, Sacred Union – Daily Meditations with Matthew Fox

Mark, a commentator on these DMs, was underlining, the day before yesterday, that we need a sacred union between the feminine and the masculine in order to move forward. This is precisely the main argument of Matthew Fox’s book The Hidden Spirituality of Men. The book deals with men because it is written by a man and because men are most in need of change. But it never sways from its main thrust: the sacred union between the two principles within each individual. 

Mark continued, saying: one way this manifests is in the rise of trans and non-binary folks. I agree that such emergence is a spiritual sign which especially challenges those — gays and straights — who are strongly identified with one pole of the continuum, whether the masculine or the feminine, and are afraid of moving even a bit toward the center.

Fear and shame seem to me the main energies which fuel the polemics around gender. As spiritual folks, even before engaging in any battle, we are called to work deeply on such energies within us. In fact, unless we know them and how they work inside us, we are bound to project our frustrations and anger on the outside.

As we want to bring about a new and different way to be gendered people in the world, we cannot simply take sides in the present fights. Let me clarify: of course we must always take sides for the oppressed and against the oppressor. But we are also called to think and experience personally each argument that is put forward in debates.

Moving beyond polarization on gender can be a great resource for the global human society at this time. Yet, if it becomes just a political banner, the spiritual power of such a move is highly diminished. While we fight for equal rights — an unending battle in Western society — we should recognize that there is something even deeper at stake.

Indeed, this is not just a question touching trans people and non-binary people. It involves us all. In a sense, we are called to become spiritually non-binary. We don’t have to lose our identification as men or women — if that is what is comfortable and rings true — but we are given the chance to integrate within ourselves, in our own individual way, the energies of the opposite pole.

I recognize that my phrases here remain quite abstract. I learned from Matthew Fox’s book A Spirituality Named Compassion that the overcoming of dualisms such as male/female is not something that you can do rationally while sitting in your armchair. It’s not a matter of reasoning only, but of feelings, memories, attitudes, fears, hopes, constraints, habits. Most especially, there is not one single way of doing it. Each has their own.

The desire for integration of the male and female energies has a long history. I have written, for example, of the quite ambitious attempt set up by Bernard of Clairvaux in the 12th century, which was, however, fraught with ambiguities to say the least (see my August 13, 2026 DM). What interests me is the fact that this particular quest is not new, and surely it is not just a product of the present political environment.

In our next retreat in the Italian Alps — scheduled for 17-24 June 2027 — the facilitators will be people who identify as women, as non-binary, and as men. Our points of reference will range from the historical to the contemporary, including issues of gender trauma and mystical visions. The spaces themselves will be imbued with the history of pilgrims who most certainly were seeking some kind of inner integration.

The writings of C.G.Jung on anima and animus, and their revision as found in Matthew Fox’s writings, will be at the core of our spiritual enterprise. It will be a delight — I am sure — to listen to Matthew’s lecture on the topic, and to be able to engage with him directly.

The work will be intense, but plenty of chances will be given this time to spend time by oneself in nature. It’s going to be eight fabulous days.

Banner Image: The archetypal marriage of sun and moon. Detail of a woodcut print on paper by Grataroli, Guglielmo & Morienus , 1610. Wikimedia Commons. Public Domain.

Queries for Contemplation

What are your fears or uneasiness around the topic of overcoming the male/female opposition within yourself? How do you confront such feelings?

Related Readings by Matthew Fox

The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine

A Spirituality Named Compassion: Uniting Mystical Awareness with Social Justice

Alessandra Belloni, foreword by Matthew Fox, Healing Journeys with the Black Madonna

Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality

The Physics of Angels: Exploring the Realm Where Science & Spirit Meet

Charles Burack, ed., Matthew Fox: Essential Writings on Creation Spirituality

Christian Mystics: 365 Readings & Meditations

Creativity: Where the Divine and Human Meet